goldfinger
- 09 Jun 2005 12:25
Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).
Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.
cheers GF.
skinny
- 03 Feb 2012 14:53
- 14710 of 81564
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
Three sisters, ages 92, 94 and 96,live in a house together.
One night the 96-year-old draws a bath. She puts her foot
in and pauses. She yells to the other sisters, 'Was I getting
in or out of the bath?'
The 94-year-old yells back, 'I don't know. I'll come up and
see.' She starts up the stairs and pauses, 'Was I going up the
stairs or down?
The 92-year-old is sitting at the kitchen table having tea listening
to her sisters, she shakes her head and says, 'I sure hope I never
get that forgetful, knock on wood.' She then yells, 'I'll come
up and help both of you as soon as I see who's at the door'
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were playing golf one
fine March day. One remarked to the other, “Windy, isn't it?”
“No,” the second man replied, “it's Thursday.”
And the third man chimed in, “So am I. Let's have a beer.”
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
A little old lady was going up and down the halls in a nursing home.
As she walked, she would flip up the hem of her nightgown and say
“Supersex.”
She walked up to an elderly man in a wheelchair. Flipping her
gown at him, she said, “Supersex.”
He sat silently for a moment or two and finally answered, “I'll
take the soup.”
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
Two elderly ladies had been friends for many decades. Over the
years, they had shared all kinds of activities and adventures.
Lately, their activities had been limited to meeting a few times a
week to play cards.
One day, they were playing cards when one looked at the other and
said, “Now don't get mad at me.
I know we've been friends for a long time, but I just can't think of
your name!
I've thought and thought, but I can't remember it. Please tell me
what your name is..”
Her friend glared at her for at least three minutes; she just stared and
glared at her. Finally she said, “How soon do you need to know?”
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, “Herman,
I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on
Interstate 77.
Please be careful!”
“Heck,” said Herman, “It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!”
TELL ME THIS WON'T HAPPEN TO US!!!
Two elderly women were out driving in a large car--both could
barely see over the dashboard. As they were cruising along, they
came to an intersection. The stoplight was red, but they just went
on through.
The woman in the passenger seat thought to herself 'I must be losing
it.
I could have sworn we just went through a red light.' After a few
more minutes, they came to another intersection and the light was
red.
Again, they went right through. The woman in the passenger seat
was almost sure that the light had been red but was really concerned
that she was losing it. She was getting nervous.
At the next intersection, sure enough, the light was red and they went
on through. So, she turned to the other woman and said, “Mildred,
did you know that we just ran through three red lights in a row?
You could have killed us both!”
Mildred turned to her and said, “Oh, crap, am I driving?”
Fred1new
- 03 Feb 2012 15:33
- 14712 of 81564
Agreed.
How are you feeling to-day?
8-)
TANKER
- 04 Feb 2012 11:44
- 14718 of 81564
i hope england lose ever match ,
Fred1new
- 05 Feb 2012 09:03
- 14721 of 81564
Exec,
Your powers of observation are greater than mine.
I will have to show them to my wife to explain the symbolism within the cartoon.
I find words difficult enough.
mmmh
Fred1new
- 05 Feb 2012 09:31
- 14722 of 81564
Exec,
The shoes could be related to Cameron's seemingly delusional state.
amanita muscaria
Fred1new
- 05 Feb 2012 09:33
- 14723 of 81564
I must look more carefully at some of my children's cartoons of me.
skinny
- 05 Feb 2012 11:29
- 14724 of 81564
Greek debt talks flounder over labour laws
Greece's international creditors and the Greek government have failed to reach a debt deal for a third weekend in succession after final negotiations foundered over the country’s restrictive labour laws.
aldwickk
- 06 Feb 2012 08:47
- 14727 of 81564
Anybody on here thinking of opening a short position on the Facebook flotation ?
greekman
- 06 Feb 2012 09:07
- 14728 of 81564
No as I'm not into shorting, but if I was it look a very good short.