Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

yes it is wilbs. Howz it going??
wilbs

was it something for the ladies day, today, or sumfink?

jimmy
We haven't spoken for ages how are yer, me old cotton.

I've just had a couple of thoughts (in very slow handwriting)
The first;
I put a joke on here earlier about a frenchman and nobody at all has raised even the slightest issue with me about racism. If I had written the joke not with a frenchman but with a .............................?
If thats a bit too heavy for this thread thought two was;
I really enjoyed my Weetabix this morning, and the best bit was, as always, the milk mixed with sugar and bits of cereal at the bottom. So tonight I tried to make exactly that. Milk, sugar and a few bits of crumbled cereal, and it tasted like shit. Hows that work, then? Whats that all about?
Alan

Alan - Your beer money drama is a true classic, keep it up mate i reckon this is one of the funniest posts I've seen in a long time!!

Essex girl and Irish man took up at a bar on their first date for a drink and start chatting. The Essex girl notices that the Irish man has a big letter L on his left foot and a big letter R on his right and asks the irish man why.
Irish man replies well being a bit thick the L tells me left foot and R right foot so I don't get me boots on the wrong feet.
Essex girl replies OHHHHHHHH, then 5 minutes later starts laughing.
Irish man enquires why are you laughing and the essex girl replies "I've just figured out why I have C&A in the back of me knickers".....

Good one, explosive.
I shall try to offer regular instalments of my hunt for the Beer Monkey, because ,sad as it may seem, I belong to a bunch of people who do discuss this fellow, as if he were a real creature and not (you'll like this bit) an anthropomorphic personification of a medical condition.
Sad, isn't it.

No mate I think its absolutely great..... Still giggeling and the boys will love this in the morning..... Shame I can't bookmark page 125 on this thread. Anyway I am all for the adventures of Beer Monkey hunting, bye bye Harry Potter the real deal has entered the room!!

Can you lot shut up!! Im trying to watch the Take That story on ITV!!!
You cant get no peace round here.
jimmy

Wilbs - Take That, really!!! Erm why, desperate house wives is on the other side...

Jimmy - Wilbs whoever you are

Alan

Right then, I'm off for a drink, to freeze me nads off and talk shit with what ever forms of life I meet..... To infinity and beyond.....

PS. In light of the beer monkey visits please advise if theres a repellant i can use to prevent his visits!!

Im totally gobsmacked!!!
I cant belive Robbie aint in take that no more!!!
Im deeply shocked.
I suppose nekt you lot will be telling me Elvis is dead!!!!
What a day.
explosive
wilbs
Alan
jimmy
bos
driver
Who am I??
Sorry, im saddened by robbie.

The five that was.



Then four....



Now no more.....




im ahora lejos a mi cama porque im tristes,

hasta mana,

wilbs

hasta la vista, baby!!

missed the documentary. take that were a good , fun pop band.

You popping cherries bos?

that's very sweet of you, chocolat, offering me your cherry!!!!

Hello driver , how are you ,i havn't been on here so much.
Alan ,it's not racist to slap a frenchman .

Subject: FW: Logical Science - a new science



Two Dingles (Dwayne &Leon) are seated either side of a table in a rough Wolverhampton pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar.

The two dingles start to speculate about the occupation of the suit

Dwayne: - I reckon he's an accountant.

Leon: - No way - he's a stockbroker.

Dwayne: - He ain't no stockbroker! A stockbroker wouldn't come inhere!

The argument repeats itself for some time until the volume of beer gets the better of Dwayne and he makes for the toilet. On entering the toilet he sees that the suit is standing at a urinal. Curiosity and the several beers get the better of him.

Dwayne: - 'Scowse me.... no offence meant, but me and me mate were wondering what you do for a living?

Suit: - No offence taken! I'm a Logical Scientist by profession

Dwayne: - Oh? What's that then?

Suit: - I'll try to explain by example ... Do you have a goldfish at home?

Dwayne: - Er ... mmm ... well yeah, I do as it happens!

Suit: - Well, it's logical that you keep it either in a bowl or in a pond. Which is it?

Dwayne: - It's in a pond!

Suit: - Well it's reasonable to suppose that you have a large garden then?

Dwayne: - As it happens, yes I have got a big garden.

Suit: - Well then it's logical to assume that, in this town, if you have a large garden then you have a large house?

Dwayne: - As it happens I've got a five bedroom house ... built it myself!

Suit: - Well given that you've built a five bedroom house it's logical to assume that you haven't built it just for yourself and that you are quite probably married?

Dwayne: - Yes I am married; I live with my wife and four children.

Suit: - Well then it is logical to assume that you are sexually active with your wife on a regular basis?

Dwayne: - Yep! Five times a week!

Suit: - Well then it is logical to suggest that you don't masturbate very often?

Dwayne: - Do what? Not me, mate!

Suit: - Well there you are! That's logical science at work!

Dwayne: - How's that then?

Suit: - Well from finding out that you had a goldfish, I've told you about your sex life!

Dwayne: - I see! That's pretty impressive. Thanks mate!

Both leave the toilet and Dwayne returns to his mate.

Leon: - I see the suit was in there. Did you ask him what he does?

Dwayne: - Yep! He's a logical scientist!

Leon: - What's that then?

Dwayne: - I'll try and explain. Do you have a goldfish?

Leon: - Nope

Dwayne: - Well then, you're a wanker

jimmy
Hello, I haven't been on here either they are a load of bloody nutters if you ask me.