Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Nice one Al !! :-)...

I know how much we all love penguins, but this one has all the life expectancy of Blinger at the SEO supporters club.

DAMN. They got me again.

jimmy, agree with you entirely!! did not for a moment think that the first full frontal would be a fat bloke with no nob!! we saw a few of those on banana beach (true name) in skiathos this summer.
fantastic assicons....

Anyone any ideas of a catch phrase for this??

alan, no need for that!!

Captain Gatso ,, he's a Dutchman who burns speed camera's

captain pugwash, he's an englishman who ......erm.........washes pugs???

Captain Sensible

always take the road least travelled.

Not so much a road as a back alley cul-de-sac

Enough bums for today. I'm off to bed.
Time for bed, said Zebedee.
BOING

SHOCK NEWS FROM THE WORLD CUP

The world cup draw has been thrown into confusion, and may have to be redrawn.
In group G France has declared it may not be able to field a team as of the 22 players due to be named in the squad, 16 have surrendered to Switzerland and the other 8 are being charged as collaborators.
Meanwhile in group A Germany have declared that Poland are not, in fact a seperate nation and are, in fact, the equivalent of a conservatory for the German nation. As such, the Polish training facility has been invaded by armed German football coaches and Poland will be represented by the German 'B' team.
Worse still, in group B, Trinidad & Tobago have pulled out on news that the stadia for the world cup will be "no smoking". They claim this will adversley affect team moral and performance as they will be denied their traditional half time spliff and have to settle for sucking an orange. They will be replaced by the runners up in their qualifying group, Caymen Islands Ladies under 12's.
This has increased the pressure dramatically on Sven Goran Eriksson who is quoted as saying; "There are no easy matches in International football. I know very little about this team but I am told their centre back is quite tall for her age, at about 4'10" and this must make us re-asses our tactic of putting high balls into the box for Peter Crouch. The poor guy would have no chance".
Group C has fared no better as the Dutch have lodged an official complaint that the draw was rigged to put an extra team in their group. Their spokesman claimed that all the groups had 4 teams except group C which consist of Holland, Argentina, Ivory coast and Serbia AND Montenegro. The German beurocrats are looking into this but say it could be resolved anyway as international convention bans the import of anything Ivory into the country anyway and the Ivory coast team may not be allowed entry to germany because of this ruling.
Sepp Blater, FIFA president was quoted as saying; "What the F*** are they talking about"?
This has had a dramatic effect on the world cup with the bookmakers, and most are now predicting the final winners will be William Hill and Scrip, with his betting exchange scam.
More news from Germany as it breaks.

They should stick to sausages.

MORE FROM THE WORLD CUP

Reports are coming in that the Argentinian national squad plus Wayne Rooney will be flying out to Germany in January, to prepare for the world cup in June. This is due to quarantine restrictions on the import of wild animals to Germany.
For more detail, over to the NOWT threads version of Alan Hanson and Mark Lawrenson, Bos and Jimmy.......................

ENGLAND PLAYERS THREATEN STRIKE ACTION

Reports are reaching us that the England team are holding emergency strike talks after learning that Sven Goran Eriksson has flown to Germany to organise a training camp for the squad.
Leader of the revolt, David Beckham, has said that this is very shoddy treatment for some of the best players in the world.
"I am very disappointed", said Becks. "Some of the very poorest countries in the world are going to this tournament. Countries like Switzerland where people scrape by on less than 20000 a week, and can hardly manage. But even these countries have managed to provide their teams with a reasonable bed & breakfast. We're going to have to live in a camp! If you think I'm sharing a tent with Rio and Wayne for a month, you can forget it".
So far negotiations appear to be going well, with the promise that Becks can share with Gary Neville.
More later.

SVEN REVEALS THE REAL REASON STEVEN GERRARD WILL NOT BE ENGLAND CAPTAIN

The last tram.