Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

It doesn't hurt to take a hard look at yourself from time to time,
and this should help get you started.

During a visit to the mental asylum, a visitor asked the Director
what the criterion was which defined whether or not a patient should
be institutionalized.
"Well," said the Director, "we fill up a bathtub, then we offer a
teaspoon, a teacup and a bucket to the patient and ask him or her to
empty the bathtub."

"Oh, I understand," said the visitor. "A normal person would use the
bucket because it's bigger than the spoon or the teacup."

Scroll down for the answer























"No." said the Director, "A normal person would pull the plug."


Do you want a room with or without a view?

Al good one - it s now winging its way round half the world

baza, surely if it was a woman she would light a dozen assorted candles and then get in the bath for about 4 hours?

not seen jimmy post today. he's probably on his way back from the cadbury's factory shop!!

If it was a woman like mine she would demand chilled champagne, essential oils and a dozen gigolos, then jump in. She'd have the bath after. (oo-eerrrr).
Alan

nah , mine would wallow in it , ignoring my shouts of anguish that i'm having touching cloth moments.......

Oh really

oh dear!! looks like someone has used too much matey!!



cleans the bath as well as the kids!!!!!!!!!

Where would a boy be without his mates.

Here's one i made earlier.

The Government has just released its new guidelines for coping with the potential bird flu crisis.
Could we please all leave a packet of LemSip Maxi-Strength on our birdtables.
Thank you,
T Blair

aln, i always thought you were some kind of financial advisor but i've just realised that you're a joke writer for cannon and ball !! :)

Time for a nibble

is this that scratch and sniff thing again?

Oh I dunno - does it scratch?

i guess that would depend where you start nibbling....

Cannon and Ball were comedians??!! Get away with you. Next you'll be telling me Arnie the Terminator is some kind of political bigwig.
Alan

erm, ......well, ......actually.......

Personally I think Arnie is a sight funnier than Cannon and Ball. But then again, C & B are about as funny as watching an orphanage burn to the ground.