Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

and me!

My daughter has one of them pink clocks from tesco.

A woman walks into her accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.
The accountant says: "Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few questions." He gets her name, address, social security number, etc, and then asks, "what is your occupation?"
"I'm a whore," she says.
The accountant balks and says, "No, No, No, that won't work. That is too gross. Let's try to rephrase that."
The woman says, "OK., I'm a high-end call girl."
"No, that is still too crude. Try again."
They both think for a minute, then the woman says, "I'm an elite chicken farmer."
The accountant asks, "What does chicken farming have to do with being a whore & call girl?
"Well, I raised over a thousand little peckers last year."
He replies: "Good enough."

Couldn't she have said she was in wholesale??

Or perhaps an undertaker helping to bury a few stiffs?

Worked with SEO on meat packaging???

A mechanic that services old bangers??

Ironmonger? (screws and nuts)

Postman?? Helping to empty sack??

Snake charmer??

Pole dancer?

A housewife!!!!!!

She could say she held either a missionary position or a liquor license.

No mate. A housewife is much more expensive per evenings entertainment than a hooker, when you take the monthly credit card bill into account.

See your point Al.

Well, Kivver and co.
Are you any less bored now?
Do really bad old jokes improve the situation?
I have been musing on irony.
On Saturday, when I land in the USA I will be greeted by the strains of Hail to the Chief, from a nation who slaughtered thousands of red Indians, and welcomed to "The Land of the Free", whereupon I will be informed of what I may and may not do, may or may not bring in and how much the departure tax is.
Irony doesn't come into it.

They will have irons there Al except the voltage is different.

I'll end up finding out about both. Clapped in irons and the sent to the electric chair for slapping the first person to say have a nice day. I really hate that empty phrase. The other one I dislike intensley is when a waiter says "Hi, my names John, and I'll be your waiter".
John (or whoever, cos they're not all called John), I'm hungry and want some food. I'm not looking for a long term relationship.
And as for the first person I meet called Colin or something who insists its pronounced Coal-in...................................

Your off to the US after everything you said about them??? How long for al?

Watch out for the ones called Brad. I hate them. Also when they say 'no wat im sayin'