Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

like Carrots Insurance quotes (funny but true)

Coming home I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I don't have.

The other car collided with mine without giving me warning of its intention.

I thought my window was down, but I found it was up when I put my head through it.

I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way

A pedestrian hit me and went under my car.

The guy was all over the road. I had to swerve several times before I hit him.

The accident was caused by me waving to the man I hit last week.

I saw a slow moving, sad faced old gentleman as he bounced off the roof of my car.

The indirect cause of the accident was a little guy in a small car with a big mouth.
My fav:-
I knocked over a man, he admitted it was his fault as he'd been knocked over before.

A Christmas tale to warm your hearts...

There was a man who worked for the Post Office whose job it was to process all the mail that had illegible addresses.

One day just before Christmas, a letter landed on his desk, simply addressed in shaky handwriting to "God". With no other clue on the envelope, he opened the letter and read,



"Dear God, I am an 83 year old widow living on the State pension. Yesterday someone stole my purse. It had 100 in it, which was all the money I had in the world and no pension due until after Christmas.

Next week is Christmas and I had invited two of my friends over for Xmas dinner. Without that money, I have nothing to buy food with. I have no family to turn to, and you are my only hope. God; can you please help me?"

The postal worker was really touched, and put a copy of the letter up on the Staff Notice board, at the main sorting office where he worked.

The letter touched the other postmen and they all dug into their pockets and had a whip round. Between them they raised 96.

Using an official franked Post Office envelope, they sent the cash on to the old lady, and for the rest of the day, all the workers felt a warm glow thinking of the nice thing they had done.

Christmas came and went. A few days later, another letter simply addressed to "God" landed in the Sorting Office. Many of the postmen gathered around while the letter was opened.

It read, "Dear God, How can I ever thank you enough for what you did for me? Because of your generosity, I was able to provide a lovely dinner for my friends. We had a very nice day, and I told my friends of your wonderful gift - in fact we haven't gotten over it and our Vicar is beside himself with joy.

By the way, there was 4 missing. I think it must have been those thieving bastards at the Post Office!

A young lad asked his father, "Daddy, how was I born?" A thoughtful father replies, "One day you will need this information. Your mother and I got together in a Chat Room on Yahoo. We set up a date at the Cyber Cafe where we then met. We went to a secluded room, where your Mother agreed to do a download of my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload we discovered that neither of us had used a firewall, and since it was to late to hit the delete button, nine months later a blessed little Pop Up appeared and said: YOU GOT MALE."

Calm Down Dear.
http://www.luckykazoo.com/media/2005/03/e-sure-remix.html

i love you all, but those big blank gaps are really annoying!!
nor me













































baza how did u do that??

I got no gap !!!!

baza how did u do that??
and i cant sob sob

got the munchies.

I just went back and edited my message - and took out the blank lines - which shouldn't have been there anyway.

Aha

you've bitten it!!!!!

Where is everybody today ,christmas shopping ?? i think i will be scrooge this year.

I hope so - there's only 1 week of shopping for you guys to get out there and buy the important ladies in your live a fantastic pressie - so go get! Go shopping!!
;>)

There you go ,what a nice gift.

Whoops , lets not forget these , i'm so generous.

And these ,all in different colours ,i'm such a modern guy ,it's no wonder all the women want me.

This also fits well ,any woman would be pleased with this .

Dam i knew i shouldn't have got on to the apron thing , i must go and see the doctor again.

That's it i'm going to get my tablets.

Yes I think you possibly should jimmy after you've had a cold shower
LOL
;>)