Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

no, me neither.

What do you call that Bos ? for gods sake find something a bit raunchier.

Raunchier. There is another clue.
You don't get it cos you don't know what we were shopping for!!!
Heres a clue.
We visited Ann Summers and La Senza, among many others!!!
Alan

Wheres every one gone.

Oh No.............Friday the 13th.........
Fortunately I'm not superstitious. Us Virgos don't believe in any of that rubbish, touch wood.

Since its Friday 13th I am reminded of the film Halloween (yes, I know its a crap link, worthy of a radio 2 DJ).
Did you know it was filmed in spring, not autumn, and to get the feel of autumn they had to import shed loads of dead tree leaves for the filming? The film was so over budget, the crew had to sweep the leaves up each night so they could be carted off and used on the next location each time.
Not a lot of people know that.
Alan

The Labour Party annouced today a change of its emblem from a rose to a condom as it more accurately reflects Labours political stance. A condom allows for inflation,halts production, destroys the next greneration protects a bunch of Pricks and gives you a sense of security while you are being Screwed

LOL!! very good treikiman ..

A young boy went up to his father and asked him, "Dad, what is the
>difference between potentially and realistically?"
>
>The father thought for a moment, then answered, "Go ask your mother if
>she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars.
>
>Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million
>dollars, and then, ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a
>million dollars.
>
>Come back and tell me what you learn from that."
>
>So the boy went to his mother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad Pitt
>for a million dollars?" The mother replied, "Of course I would!
>
>We could really use that money to fix up the house and send you kids to
>a great University!"
>
>The boy then
went to his sister and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
>Pitt for a million dollars?" The girl replied, "Oh my God! I LOVE Brad
>Pitt I would sleep with him in a heartbeat, are you nuts?!?!?"
>
>The boy then went to his brother and asked, "Would you sleep with Brad
>Pitt for a million dollars?"
>
>"Of course," the brother replied. "Do you know how much a million bucks
>would buy?"
>
>The boy pondered the answers for a few days, then went back to his dad.
>
>His father asked him, "Did you find out the difference between
>potentially and realistically?"
>
>The boy replied, "Yes... Potentially, you and I are sitting on Three
>Million Dollars..............
>
>but Realistically,......... we're living with two Sluts and a Queer."
>

Nice one Al ,i better get back on here before the FAT thread takes over.

three guys in a pub having a bragging session about who is the best lover. first guy says, " made love to the wife last night. she enjoyed it so much she arched her back six inches off the bed !!" he sits back , smiling smugly. the second guy says, " went down on the wife last night. she loved it so much she arched her back 10 inches off the bed and moaned loudly!!". he sits back , even more smugly. the third guys sips his pint , then says, " shagged the wife last night , got up and wiped me cock on the new curtains...... she hit the f*cking roof!!!!"




well, i thought it was funny.........

Some old ones here

1. Two blondes walk into a building........ .. you'd think at least one of
them would have seen it

2. Phone answering machine message - "...If you want to buy marijuana,
press the hash key..."

3. A guy walks into the psychiatrist wearing only Clingfilm for shorts.
The shrink says, "Well, I can clearly see you're nuts."

4. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't
find any.

5. I went to the butchers the other day and I bet him 50 quid that he
couldn't reach the meat off the top shelf. He said, "No, the steaks are
too high."

6. My friend drowned in a bowl of muesli. A strong currant pulled him
in.

7. A man came round in hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
"Doctor,doctor, I can't feel my legs!" The doctor replied "I know you
can't, I've cut your arms off".

8. I went to a seafood disco last week...and pulled a muscle.

9. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly. They lit a fire in the
craft, it sank, proving once and for all that you can't have your kayak
and heat it too.

10. Our ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered
with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.

11. Man goes to the doctor, with a strawberry growing out of his head.
Doc says "I'll give you some cream to put on it."

12. 'Doc I can't stop singing The Green, Green Grass of Home'. "That
sounds like Tom Jones syndrome." 'Is it common?' "It's not unusual."

13. A man takes his Rottweiler to the vet. "My dog is cross-eyed, is
there anything you can do for him?" "Well," said the vet, "let's have a
look at him". So he picks the dog up and examines his eyes, then he checks his
teeth. Finally, he says, "I'm going to have to put him down." "What?
Because he's cross-eyed?" "No, because he's really heavy".

14. Guy goes into the doctor's. "Doc, I've got a cricket ball stuck up
my backside."..How's that?" "Don't you start."

15. Two elephants walk off a cliff...boom, boom!

16. What do you call a fish with no eyes? A fsh.

17. So I was getting into my car, and this bloke says to me "Can you
give me a lift?" I said "Sure. You look great .. the world's your oyster
..
go for it."

18. Apparently, 1 in 5 people in the world are Chinese. There are 5
people in my family, so it must be one of them. It's either my mum or my
Dad,or my older Brother Colin, or my younger Brother Ho-Cha-Chu? But I think its
Colin.

19. Two fat blokes in a pub, one says to the other "Your round." The
other one says "So are you, you fat bast**d!"

20. Police arrested two kids yesterday, one was drinking battery acid,
and the other was eating fireworks. They charged one and let the other one
off.

21. "You know, somebody actually complimented me on my driving today."
They left a little note on the windscreen. It said, 'Parking Fine.' "So
that was nice."

22. A man walked into the doctors, he said, "I've hurt my arm in several
places". The doctor said, "Well don't go there anymore".

23. Ireland's worst air disaster occurred early this morning when a
small two-seater Cessna plane crashed into a cemetery. Irish search and
rescue workers have recovered 1826 bodies so far and expect that number to
climb as digging continues into the night.

superb baza. lol

mmmmmm

Mmmm fish 'n chips...there's only one way to eat that.

??

with a nice


??

or do you just like using your fingers?

Got it in three ;)