Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

with a nice


??

or do you just like using your fingers?

Got it in three ;)

jellybean high :)

After the headlines, the quotes:



1. Commenting on a complaint from a Mr. Arthur Purdey about a large gas bill, a spokesman for North West Gas said, "We agree it was rather high

for the time of year. It's possible Mr. Purdey has been charged for the gas used up during the explosion that destroyed his house." (The Daily Telegraph)





2. Police reveal that a woman arrested for shoplifting had a whole salami in her underwear. When asked why, she said it was because she was missing her Italian boyfriend. (The Manchester Evening News)





3. Irish police are being handicapped in a search for a stolen van, because they cannot issue a description. It's a Special Branch vehicle and they don't want the public to know what it looks like. (The Guardian)



4. A young girl who was blown out to sea on a set of inflatable teeth was rescued by a man on an inflatable lobster. A coast guard spokesman

commented, "This sort of thing is all too common. (The Times)





5. At the height of the gale, the harbourmaster radioed a coastguard and asked him to estimate the wind speed. He replied he was sorry, but he didn't have a gauge. However, if it was any help, the wind had just blown his Land Rover off the cliff. (Aberdeen Evening Express)





6. Mrs. Irene Graham of Thorpe Avenue, Boscombe, delighted the audience with her reminiscence of the German prisoner of war who was sent each week to do her garden. He was repatriated at the end of 1945, she recalled. "He'd always seemed a nice friendly chap, but when the crocuses came up in the middle of our lawn in February 1946, they spelt out 'Heil Hitler.'" (Bournemouth Evening Echo)

Good morning Baza,
Bright and early this morning.
Love the lists.
alan

Morning Alan and all

Could be an interestng day today - or a damp squib.

Talking of which - very gloomy and wet down south today - I wonder if that will set the tone for the day

If you mean what I think you mean then I'll go for the damp squib. I see no news and no great volatility, despite the rantings of others!!!
All the talking up and down over the last 6 weeks or so has led to the sp moving by the square root of bugger all.
As PI's we get to know about things that will move the price after the event and all the silly posturing on here is nothing more than guesswork, so we kind of take it in turns to be right.
Alan

Al you can't talk about trivial things like shares , this is a serious thread .

Jimmy - I agree

Shame on you Alan - now if you want to talk about the trouncing of ManU - Yes - what a good result for football !!!

Baza

Sorry, Jimmy.
Back on track with a more serious discussion;
Why is abbreviation such a long word?
alan

Baza,
Like anyone outside Essex, I enjoyed seeing the game and result, but the funniest thing was old red nose complaining about the referee being biased!!!
Obviousley Man U were not awarded 17 penalties and the referee called time before Man U had won, so he must have been.
Alan

And why is there only one monopolies commission ??

Jimmy,
The other was called the mergers commission but it joined forces with the monopolies one.
Alan

But if we're talking governmental stuff here, can anyone name a foreign secretary that wasn't British?????

And why don't we sack the minister for overseas aid? Nobody from overseas is giving us any aid at all!! No wonder taxes are so high.

Why is it that when i go visiting at xmas i can't park in my sisters or my mums ,or any other residential street ,they are always full with people visitng ,,so where are all the empty streets ????

Thats easy. Hull. Nobody goes to Hull and everyone leaves there the first chance they get.
If the world ever needs an enema, Hull is where the tube will go.

Lets ridicule Man U a bit more.
What has Old Trafford at tea time on Saturdays, and Pentonville got in common?
They both have thousands of cockneys all trying to get out at the same time.

Malcolm Glazer saw an old lady struggling with several large bags of shopping.
"Can you manage, Dear?" He asked.
"Bugger off", she said, "The teams knackered, I don't want the job either".