Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

can't think of any , alan. do you fancy starting one?? i mean, i think between us on this thread we've got everything necessary. i'm game .......... as long as i can do the head hunting ;)

bos or jimmy Not Al
Here's one for you, OK Al as well.

http://www.gjk2.com/test/test.swf

Tonker
Looks like a nice place Zambezi you sure they got any Nickle.

Heres a fun one for you


http://www.goalpoker.com/penalty_strip/goalPoker_01.html

driver, fundie....... 'tastic. still not found the ball and it's amazing how many penalties you can score once the motivation is there!!! :)

If anyones getting dragged to the shops today, try these to brighten it all up a bit;


1. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

2. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

3. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone, "Code 3 in housewares, "and see what happens.

4. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.


5. Move a "CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

7. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"

8. Look right into the security camera. Use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

9. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti- depressants are.


10. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.

11. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.

12. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, say "PICK ME! PICK ME!"

13 When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the foetal position and scream "NO! NO! It's those voices again!"

14. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while. Then, yell very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

Cheers driver ,i couldn't do it ,, Fundy i was never any good at football ,i could take penalties foe England now..Where do you all find these ??

jimmy, what are you trying to say?

I found it funny bos (that game)..

Actually bos ,,i think madness is finally setting in ...

Boring start to the week ,, now if i was having an extention built today ..

Funny you should say that, jimmy.
Our architect is due here in the next 10 mins.
Doesn't look like that though.

Maybe she'll turn up when the work starts ,although you would have to be concerned about her climbing ladders with such a short skirt on .

No she'll be fine Jimmy.
I'll be stood at the bottom holding them. Just to make sure shes safe.

So considerate .

jimmy, those boots are doing wonderful things for me. oh, those heels ...........


sadly , my brickie looked more like this

Oh dear bos ,not quite the same .

I, the penis


I, the penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:
I do physical labor
I work at great depths
I plunge head first into everything I do
I do not get weekends off or public holidays
I work in a damp environment
I don't get paid overtime
I work in a dark workplace that has poor ventilation
I work in high temperatures
My work exposes me to contagious diseases


--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Penis,
After assessing your request, and considering the arguments you have raised, the administration rejects your request for the following reasons:
You do not work 8 hours straight
You fall asleep on the job after brief work periods
You do not always follow the orders of the management team
You do not stay in your allocated position, and often visit other areas
You do not take initiative - you need to be pressured and stimulated in order to start working
You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of your shift
You don't always observe necessary safety regulations, such as wearing the correct protective clothing
You'll retire well before reaching 65
You're unable to work double shifts
You sometimes leave your allocated position before you have completed the day's work
And if that were not all, you have been seen constantly entering and leaving the workplace carrying 2 suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,
The Management

What beats a princess??
>
> A British Airways passenger cabin was being served by an obviously gay
> flight attendant, who seemed to put everyone into a good mood as he
served
> them food and drinks. As the plane prepared to descend, he came swishing
> down the aisle and announced to the passengers:
>
> "Captain Marvey has asked me to announce that he'll be landing the big
> scary plane shortly, lovely people, so if you could just put up your
trays,
> that would be super."
>
> On his trip back up the aisle, he noticed that a well-dressed rather
> exotic looking woman hadn't moved a muscle.
>
> "Perhaps you didn't hear me over those big brute engines." he said, "I
> asked you to raise your trazy-poo so the main man can pitty-pat us on
the
> ground.
>
> " She calmly turned her head and said, "In my country, I am called a
> Princess. I take orders from no one."
>
> To which the flight attendant replied, without missing a beat, "Well,
> sweet-cheeks, in my country I'm called a Queen, so I outrank you.
>
> Tray-up, bitch."
>