Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Al ,your a nutter ,i don't know how you think these things up , you should write a book , or see a doctor ..

PS you must be well hard if you were British Hedgehog juggling champ.

Used to juggle hedgehogs with my bare feet while standing on my hands whistling "The Song of Solomon" up my trouser leg.
It was a huge hit with the Queen Mother.
Do you ever get one of those days when you feel like you're living in a parallel universe?
Alan

I'm either in a parallel universe ,or on LSD .

LSD?
Tried the Epic code and nothing came up.
Is that a tip, Jimmy, cos I think I've got about 23 pence spare to throw at it if its likely to double.
Alan

Actually, with the olympics being in London in 2012, we should introduce a few more events to give us a chance of actually winning something.
Morris Dancing could be one of them (Why not. Synchronised swimming is).
We could have the Saturday Night Biathalon. First team to down 12 pints of Stella and finish a vindaloo and 6 naan breads. As a nation, we've been training for this for years.
The London mechanized Marathon. First team from Cockfosters to Victoria using only the tube and an Underground map (all foreigners would be knackered - as would anyone who doesn't use the tube regularly).
The Ambre Solaire challenge. The first big fat bloke to say I never need sun lotion, then lie on a beach, in dodgy Speedos, and get 3rd degree burns.
Theres loads we could win.
Any suggestions and we could put them to Seb Coe. After all, running round in circles is for pussies.
Alan

How about a headbutting comp ,we could hold it in a playing field in Glasgow , or a buggering Gary Glitter event .

Like the headbutting one. Strong competition from Barnsley.
I just phoned Railtrack to see if they could enter a team in the Lame Excuses event and they said they'd love to but can't promise to turn up because of a points failure in Carlisle.
Sounds a winner to me.
Alan

Just heard from a contact of mine that London hosting the 2012 games is now in doubt.
Firstly the medal pressing machine needs converting from 1948, when we last held the olympics, to 2012. The contract for this conversion hasbeen awarded to Stanelco and they have asked if the games can be put back to 2015 to give them time to convert. (Sorry SEO holders).
Secondly, the governements health and Safety Executive has expressed strong concerns at someone running while carrying a lit torch. They say they'll only allow it if he wears an asbestos suit and is accompanied by 4 London firemen.
Apparantly Iran have made a kind offer to get by this problem. they say that if we allow them to enrich their own uranium, they will light the flame remotely from Tehran airbase, by simply pushing a button.
This is supported by the H&S exec.
More later.
Alan

Bikini contest , i did have a reason for putting this up ,but i can't remember .

Have you ever been to Blackpool jimmy?
I was looking for competitions we might win!!!
Alan

I have Al , what are you suggesting ? that we don't have the caliber of beautiful girls here .

What about an ugly football team contest?
Neville Southall in goal. Phil and Gary Neville as full backs, Luke Chadwick in midfield, Rooney and Beardsley up front.
We've got the makings of world beaters.............

al - manager??? kivver - coach??

jimmy
It can't be a Bikini contest most of the Bikinis look the same.

Oh trust me it is , and i'll take the 3rd from left .

number 5 reminds me of what me missus used to look like .......

bos
Don't fret she will get her shape back.

bos--typical man!! It's your fault so you've just got to enjoy her new shape. When is it due? we don't hear much about baby bos.

well , that's my botty smacked!!! it's overdue now, mp. i believe curries, bumpy car rides and sex get things moving, so i think i'm in for a busy night tonight !! :))

Making lots of curries?????

MP.
Nice to have a ladies perspective back on the thread. Welcome back to put all the male chauvanist, testosterone fired, macho men in their place and strike a blow for my pet cause, sex equality.
But before you do that can you just tidy round the thread a bit, and make me a cup of tea, love.
Thanks,
Alan ;-)