Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Like the headbutting one. Strong competition from Barnsley.
I just phoned Railtrack to see if they could enter a team in the Lame Excuses event and they said they'd love to but can't promise to turn up because of a points failure in Carlisle.
Sounds a winner to me.
Alan

Just heard from a contact of mine that London hosting the 2012 games is now in doubt.
Firstly the medal pressing machine needs converting from 1948, when we last held the olympics, to 2012. The contract for this conversion hasbeen awarded to Stanelco and they have asked if the games can be put back to 2015 to give them time to convert. (Sorry SEO holders).
Secondly, the governements health and Safety Executive has expressed strong concerns at someone running while carrying a lit torch. They say they'll only allow it if he wears an asbestos suit and is accompanied by 4 London firemen.
Apparantly Iran have made a kind offer to get by this problem. they say that if we allow them to enrich their own uranium, they will light the flame remotely from Tehran airbase, by simply pushing a button.
This is supported by the H&S exec.
More later.
Alan

Bikini contest , i did have a reason for putting this up ,but i can't remember .

Have you ever been to Blackpool jimmy?
I was looking for competitions we might win!!!
Alan

I have Al , what are you suggesting ? that we don't have the caliber of beautiful girls here .

What about an ugly football team contest?
Neville Southall in goal. Phil and Gary Neville as full backs, Luke Chadwick in midfield, Rooney and Beardsley up front.
We've got the makings of world beaters.............

al - manager??? kivver - coach??

jimmy
It can't be a Bikini contest most of the Bikinis look the same.

Oh trust me it is , and i'll take the 3rd from left .

number 5 reminds me of what me missus used to look like .......

bos
Don't fret she will get her shape back.

bos--typical man!! It's your fault so you've just got to enjoy her new shape. When is it due? we don't hear much about baby bos.

well , that's my botty smacked!!! it's overdue now, mp. i believe curries, bumpy car rides and sex get things moving, so i think i'm in for a busy night tonight !! :))

Making lots of curries?????

MP.
Nice to have a ladies perspective back on the thread. Welcome back to put all the male chauvanist, testosterone fired, macho men in their place and strike a blow for my pet cause, sex equality.
But before you do that can you just tidy round the thread a bit, and make me a cup of tea, love.
Thanks,
Alan ;-)

i was really looking forward to the bumpy car ride. now things are a bit slippy it seems a good time to get the rear end out , let it slide a little ,practice some control, then prod it forward before getting some grip, thrust and shooting off. ;)

Rear-ending huh - I did a good job of that this morning when I let the cat out. Tripped over her as she was still busy schmoozing and did a spectacular glissando :(

Is that 2 sugars Alan?? Bos--good luck not long now then. Practise the deep breathing, expect her hand holding to draw blood, and don't take any notice of the abuse!! It'll all be worth it in the end then you'll be off to wet the baby's head.
I well remember my husbands "pals" doing that--I went to pick him up baby in the back to find they expected to shovel him in the back and leave me to it ! the pram scuppered that idea so they had to bring him home and use a fireman's lift to dump him on the bed. I then had 2 babies to nurse through the night!! That was 35 years ago and the pals have never forgotten what I said to them!

Funnily enough, yes it is MP.
Harks back to my days as a youth at the Post Office where the standard cup of tea looked and tasted like it was stewed in a builders welly for 3 days then 2 sugars were added along with the not too lumpy bits from a 4 day old bottle of milk and served in a mug, the inside of which was orange with tannine stains.
tea never tastes right now unless its served up like that.
Of course for bos it will be coffee, and lots of it, to keep him awake through the day. No need for any at night. The baby will see to that!!!
Alan

bugger!! just as i found a cure for my insommnia .......
a few bits of advice that i've been given:
1) don't look down ...... it could put you off for a while :)
2) take a good book ....... labour is dull.
3) wear shorts and a vest ....... apparantly it gets quite stuffy.
4) if she's struggling to push, flirt with the midwife and any nurses nearby .... gets 'em going again .
and finally,
5)take a box of tissues ....... virtually everyone has said you cry like a girl .

can't wait :))

chocolat, you didn't happen to get it on video , did you? :)