Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Rear-ending huh - I did a good job of that this morning when I let the cat out. Tripped over her as she was still busy schmoozing and did a spectacular glissando :(

Is that 2 sugars Alan?? Bos--good luck not long now then. Practise the deep breathing, expect her hand holding to draw blood, and don't take any notice of the abuse!! It'll all be worth it in the end then you'll be off to wet the baby's head.
I well remember my husbands "pals" doing that--I went to pick him up baby in the back to find they expected to shovel him in the back and leave me to it ! the pram scuppered that idea so they had to bring him home and use a fireman's lift to dump him on the bed. I then had 2 babies to nurse through the night!! That was 35 years ago and the pals have never forgotten what I said to them!

Funnily enough, yes it is MP.
Harks back to my days as a youth at the Post Office where the standard cup of tea looked and tasted like it was stewed in a builders welly for 3 days then 2 sugars were added along with the not too lumpy bits from a 4 day old bottle of milk and served in a mug, the inside of which was orange with tannine stains.
tea never tastes right now unless its served up like that.
Of course for bos it will be coffee, and lots of it, to keep him awake through the day. No need for any at night. The baby will see to that!!!
Alan

bugger!! just as i found a cure for my insommnia .......
a few bits of advice that i've been given:
1) don't look down ...... it could put you off for a while :)
2) take a good book ....... labour is dull.
3) wear shorts and a vest ....... apparantly it gets quite stuffy.
4) if she's struggling to push, flirt with the midwife and any nurses nearby .... gets 'em going again .
and finally,
5)take a box of tissues ....... virtually everyone has said you cry like a girl .

can't wait :))

chocolat, you didn't happen to get it on video , did you? :)

I nearly missed my first by going for Fish & Chips. The nurse came rushing in to tell me that it had all started and I better hurry up, so I wolfed my dinner down and ran back to the maternity suite, to hear the screams of the wife.
Typical, theres me with lousy indigestion, from rushing my dinner and she takes all the sympathy away by saying labour hurts.
Selfish bugger, she is.
Alan

1-Agreed! 2-don't count on it! 3-a wet sponge will do! 4-****! 5-don't follow babybooks labour advice as everyone's different and there's nothing worse than the book says you must do this etc! take 2 boxes definitely as everyone joins in!!
really pleased- along with you both.

Ha, no bos :P
but I did get through half a tube of arnica
... so far

One thing you've really got going for you bos, is the amount of knowledge experience and advice available to you through this board.
MP is right. Ignore the books.
For instance the section on bathing a baby is rubbish. All that supporting their head and not splashing and things.
I found the easiest way is to insert your index finger in one of the babies nostrils and your middle finger in the other. You can then swirl the baby round and give it a good rinse.
Best of all, you don't burn your hands if the water is hot.
Got loads of tips like that if you need any help.
Alan (official parenting advisor of Michael Jackson)

You'll also find the gas and air most effective bos.
It kept Mr Grumpy happy for a good hour before he emptied the tank :)

oooo cheers, chocolat!! forgot that one. :)

Another shitty post by Matt.

Check the investors room his sh*t on every thread what a child.

whos Matt????
What post????
Confused!!!!!

driver, nothing new there then. every thread already has shit on it :)

ice-cream , too?

Mmmm ... could've done with a load of that this morning.

I mean, how boring is arnica?

what were you doing? eating it?

Just to explain if you blinked you would have missed it, earlier we had some one posting very nasty pictures of sewage on all the threads. Well done M AM for taking it all off and a very fast ban.

Bling the Eskimo was fed up of always being cold, so he booked a holiday in the tropics.
After picking up his hire car he set off driving through the shimmering heat. After a couple of hours he noticed the car was losing power and mis-firing, so he pulled into a petrol station to call the local equivalent of the AA.
While waiting he noticed how stupidly hot it was and decided to buy an ice cream. As he ate it the heat caused it to melt dibbling down his chin and round his lips.
As he was finishing the AA man turned up and said "Blown a seal?"
"No", said Bling, "I've been eating an ice cream, honest."