Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

come on everybody ....sing-a-long ........ ahhhhthreeandafourandawun ..... oh happy day ..... :)))

Can't remember the words, Bos.

Shouldn't that be nappy day Bosley?

DO NOT BE AFRAID EARTHLINGS. WE INTEND YOU NO HARM. WE COME IN PEACE.
we currently have a death ray focussed on your puny and worthless planet.
Our timewarping inter-galactic spaceship, the USS Mondeo, has run out of power in orbit near your inconsequential little globe, and the lithium cells canae take it, captain (sorry, slipped into StarTrek speak there).
We urgently need fuel of a type which your planet cannot provide and does not even have a word for.
Our Geo-scientists have, however, discovered that an alternative does exist. It is a fine blend of tobacco, Theakstons Old Peculiar real Ale and those little pictures of the Queen you all carry in your wallets. We need massive quantities of each, or we will have no choice but to dissolve your planet in a nuclear fireball.
To save your ridiculous little species you need to send all the supplies of those three items you can muster, to us. We have hijacked the so-called hewittalan6 and the cash, beer and fags, Sorry, necessary supplies can be forwarded via the funny little envelope next to his name.
Finally, if any of you see that Stephen Speilberg geek, tell him if he makes us that ugly in his next film, we're gonna set fire to his beard.
Peace,
Admiral uyfoygfasydgf of the planet iofjvnkufkjsl

Al have you lost your tablets ??

Why have you put a picture of my mother-in-law on here Alan? It's bad enough seeing her as much as I do...oh, and they are not having my Freddie Mercury poster.
kim

What does a guy have to do to blag some alcohol, nicotine and cash around here?

.

Damn, still can't post a picture. Can you help out please Driver?

How many social workers does it take to change a light bulb? None, but it takes 15 to write a paper entitled "Coping with darkness".
kim

I thought it was only one, but its got to really want to change.
Alan

Time for some entertainment

whoever you want it to be

What a weekend.
Got a gas leak in my kitchen (fitter coming today)
The dishwasher has broken down (fitter coming Wednesday)
Blew out a rear tyre on my car.
How stupid does a decent car look when its having to run on one of those skinny tyres??
And how expensive are tyres? 130 each!!!!!!!!!
I'm in the wrong business.
Alan

What was that song by Michael Flanders & Donald Swann?....The Gas-man cometh? You could be in for a bad week as well Alan! If you haven't heard it I will try to remember the words: I think it started with not being able to turn the gas tap on so the Gas-man came and had to rip out the skirting boards, so on Tuesday the carpenter came round, the glazier on Wednesday because the carpenter broke the window etc.!
kim

Don't. I'm still smarting over the tyres!!!!!!!!!!1

Yea, they are a bit of a shocker, had to buy 2 fronts in January which I had at a discount (so I was told) cost 250. Don't do wheel spins anymore!! Look at the bright side though, at least you did no more damage when the tyre blew.
kim

True enough, but it still hurts when I'm told 135 plus fitting per tyre, oh and by the way sir, we recommend you change this one, this one and this one, your spares looking a bit ropey and we could really do with a night out at your cost, sir.
It's not me sir, its the ministry sir. Do you want us to lose our license sir.......................

What, no recommendation that you have a new exhaust whilst they fit the tyres? Garages in Leeds must be more user friendly than round here!!

No they tend to concentrate on discs, pads and track rod ends.
I think I'm gonna trade it in for something more economical to run, such as a small central american country.
Bloody thing costs me a mint to insure, fill up, service, repair, everything.
I sometimes think it would be cheaper to employ the Williams pit team on a full time basis.
Alan

Still, she is a beautiful car to drive around in :-)
Alan