Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

something for the ladies :))

something for the ladies cos i'm in a really good mood. type your name in the box , turn the volume up loud and press enter ........

Well I've had better days

Only BAA & ULT blue in my portfolio now :0( Driver has at least got a birthday to celebrate! Still, the way I look at it is that there are now some good investment oportunities :0) Got no spare cash though :0(

Right, all round to Drivers for a serious drinking session and gentlemans party.
I'll bring the inflatable sheep and the industrial meths, Kim can you manage the catering.
A large bag of twiglets should just about do it.
Alan

Erm, I could bring a real sheep if you'd prefer!
kim

Nah. You can't get lipstick on the real ones.

Al ,you don't know what your doing ,of course you can get make up on a sheep ,it's what iv'e been told anyway.


It's a bloodbath out there , lets see what the yanks do this week it could easily turn around .

I reckon it would be easier to turn a sheep around Jimmy, or is that what you meant?!
kim

I do like mine with long hair.

Ooooo! she's a cheeky on one the right. I had a relationship with a girl like her once but in the end she gave me the cold shoulder then I got the chop.
kim

Is that Wales answer to Bob Marley and the Wailers???

No Alan, it the Welsh Rugby Union's answer to the next match against the Baa Baas.

What a terrible day for the markets ,,time for a bit of Cindy i think .

Mmm, that Crawford is a bit of a cracker.

Ding dong.

great pic of cindy, jimmy. i've been looking for somewhere to park this ;)

Dave returned from a doctor's visit one day and told his wife Doreen
that the doctor said he only had 24 hours to live. Wiping away her
tears, he asked her to make love with him.

Of course she agreed and they made passionate love.

Six hours later, Dave went to her again, and said, "Honey, now I only
have 18 hours left to live. Maybe we could make love again?" Doreen
agreed and again they made love.

Later, Dave was getting into bed when he realized he now had only eight
hours of life left. He touched Doreen's shoulder and said, "Honey?
Please? Just one more time before I die?" She agreed, then afterward she
rolled over and fell asleep.

Dave, however, heard the clock ticking in his head, and he tossed and
turned until he was down to only four more hours. He tapped his wife on
the shoulder to wake her up. "Honey, I only have four hours left! Could
we...?"

His wife sat up abruptly, turned to him and said, "Listen Dave, I have
to get up in the morning! You don't."

Sorry - but I thought it was funny !!!!

...and a few essex girl jokes - with apologies naturally

An Essex girl goes to the council to register for child benefit.
"How many children?" asks the council worker. "10" replies the Essex
girl.
"10?" says the council worker. "What are their names?"
"Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne, Wayne and
Wayne."
"Doesn't that get confusing?"
"Naah..." says the Essex girl "its great because if they are out playing
in the street I just have to shout WAYNE, YER DINNER'S READY, or WAYNE
GO TO BED NOW and they all do it..." "What if you want to speak to one
individually?" says the perturbed council worker. "That's easy," says
the Essex girl... "I just use their surnames."
_______________________________

An Essex girl walks into the local dry cleaners. She places a garment on
the counter. "I'll be back tomorrow afternoon to pick up my dress." she
says.
"Come again?" says the clerk, cupping his ear.
"No" she replies."This time it's mayonnaise."
_______________________________

Essex Girl enters a s*x shop & asks for a vibrator. The man says "Choose
from our range on the wall." She says "I'll take the red one." The man
replies "That's a fire extinguisher."
_______________________________

An Essex girl is involved in a nasty car crash and is trapped and
bleeding.
The paramedics soon arrive on site. Medic: "It's OK I'm a paramedic and
I'm going to ask you some questions?" Girl: "OK"
Medic: "What's your name?"
Girl: "Sharon."
Medic: "OK Sharon, is this your car?"
Sharon: "Yes."
Medic: "Where are you bleeding from?"
Sharon: "Romford, mate."
________________________________

An Essex girl was driving down the A13 when her car phone rang.
It was her boyfriend, urgently warning her, "Treacle, I just heard on
the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the A13. Please be
careful!"
"It's not just one car!" said the Essex girl, "There's f*cking hundreds
of them!"
________________________________

Another Essex girl was involved in a serious crash; there's blood
everywhere. The paramedics arrive and drag the girl out of the car till
she's lying flat out on the floor. Medic: "OK, I'm going to check if
you're concussed."
Sharon: "Ok."
Medic: "How many fingers am I putting up?"
Sharon: "Oh my god I'm paralysed from the waist down!"
________________________________

An Essex girl and an Irish guy are in a bar when the Essex Girl notices
something strange about the wellies the Irish guy is wearing. She says,
"Scuse me mate, I aint being funny or nuffink, but why doz one of your
wellies 'ave an L on it and the uva one's got an R on it?" The Irish guy
smiles, puts down his glass of Guinness and replies,"Well, oim little
bit tick you see. The one wit the R on it is for me roight foot and the
one wit the L is for me Left foot" "Cor blimey, exclaims the Essex girl,
"So THATS why me knickers 'ave got C&A on them!"

Only 13 days to my holidays. How happy am I????
I have been considering a complaint of discrimination though.
Too old for Club 18-30 and too young for Saga. What does that leave me?