goldfinger
- 09 Jun 2005 12:25
Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).
Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.
cheers GF.
hewittalan6
- 21 Jun 2006 15:27
- 4721 of 81564
Alternative ending.
"Why do you hate England so much, Dad"?
"I don't, son".
"So why did you hit me and go mad"?
"Even a sausage eating Kraut like me knows that a shirt with Owen Hargreaves on the back will get you bullied at school, the useless to$$er".
hewittalan6
- 22 Jun 2006 08:03
- 4723 of 81564
Only 6 days to my holidays. (Not that I'm counting you understand).
My dream is that both England and Mexico make it the the world cup final. I know there is no chance, but I would love to watch it on the big screen on the beach in Mexico.
What an experience that would be!!!
jammyjimmy
- 23 Jun 2006 11:39
- 4724 of 81564
Friday Funny
An Italian-American family was considering putting their grandfather in
a nursing home.
All the Catholic facilities were completely full so they had to put him
in a Jewish home.
After a few weeks in the Jewish facility, they came to visit Grandpa.
"How do you like it here?" asks the grandson.
"It's wonderful!! Everyone here is so courteous and respectful," says
Grandpa.
"We're so happy for you. We were worried that this was the wrong place
for you."
"Let me tell you about how wonderfully they treat the residents here,"
Grandpa says with a big smile.
"There's a musician here -- he's 85-years old. He hasn't played the
violin in 20 years and everyone still calls him 'Maestro'.
"And there's a physician here -- 90 years old. He hasn't been practicing
medicine for 25 years and everyone still calls him 'Doctor'!!
"Also a Federal Judge, retired for over 30 years, is still addressed as
'Your Honor'.
"And the best bit is me! Hell,I haven't had sex for 30 years and they still call me 'that f#*king Italian'"
bhunt1910
- 23 Jun 2006 16:54
- 4725 of 81564
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
It is just before England v Brazil at the next World Cup Group game.
Ronaldinho goes into the Brazilian changing room to find all his team
mates looking a bit glum.
"What's up?" he asks.
"Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know
it's important but it's only England. They're always sh*te and we just
can't be bothered".
Ronaldinho looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat them by
myself, you lads go down the pub."
So Ronaldinho goes out to play England all by himself and the rest of
the Brazilian team go off for a few jars.
After a few pints they wonder how the game is going, so they get the
landlord to put the TV on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads
Brazil 1 - England 0 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes).
He is beating England all by himself.
Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone
remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put
the TV on again.
Result from the Stadium Brazil 1 (Ronaldinho 10 minutes) - England 1
(Beckham 89 minutes).
They can't believe it; he has single handedly got a draw against
England!!
They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate Ronaldinho.
They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his
head in his hands.
He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down boys, I've let you
down."
"Don't be daft; you got a draw against England, all by yourself. And
they only scored at the very, very end!"
"No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes"
kimoldfield
- 26 Jun 2006 16:51
- 4727 of 81564
Have you asked her if you can be her ball boy Jimmy?
kim
hewittalan6
- 26 Jun 2006 16:57
- 4728 of 81564
That looks like 2 pictures stuck together.
Waist down is Geoff Capes and the waist up is Karen Carpenter.
kimoldfield
- 26 Jun 2006 17:29
- 4729 of 81564
When did Geoff Capes start shaving his legs?
kimoldfield
- 26 Jun 2006 17:31
- 4730 of 81564
I think she's just coming on for Italy..oh, sorry it's Totti not Totty.
driver
- 26 Jun 2006 17:32
- 4731 of 81564
kimoldfield
- 26 Jun 2006 17:35
- 4732 of 81564
There's definitely chalk dust in the one on the top right Driver, I think the ball was just in.
kimoldfield
- 26 Jun 2006 17:54
- 4734 of 81564
I think you'll enjoy your tea more than the Aussies Driver! Who would have thought that Totty/Totti would have scored!
kim
Bluelady
- 27 Jun 2006 01:24
- 4736 of 81564
Joke
Sue: "See that woman over there? She's been married four times- once to a milionaire; then to an actor;third, to a minister;and last to an undertaker."
Sal: "I know! One for the money, two for the show, three to get ready and four to go."
driver
- 30 Jun 2006 21:10
- 4739 of 81564
Saw the Pet shop Boys yesterday at the Tower of London in the moat excellent show Al was you there Im sure that was you in that nice latex number.
.hov:hover
kimoldfield
- 01 Jul 2006 12:38
- 4740 of 81564
http://eepybird.com/dcm1.html
If you haven't seen the diet coke/minto video yet, take a look!!
kim