Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

In the supermarket with his dad, a little boy was flipping a 10p piece into the air and then catching it with his teeth. Someone bumped the little boy at the wrong moment and the 10p came down and lodged in the boy's throat.

The boy starts to choke and his father starts hollering for help.

A middle aged man hears the commotion, casually puts his trolley to the side, straightens his coat and tie, and makes his way to the boy and his father.

"Excuse me, sir," the man tells the father. The man reaches down to the still standing (but still choking) boy, carefully takes hold of the kid's testicles, and squeezes gently but firmly.

After a few seconds, the boy convulses violently and coughs up the 10p, which the man catches in his free hand. The man releases the boy and walks back over to his trolley.

After making sure his son is ok, the father walks over to the man and thanks him profusely for saving his son's life. "I've never, ever seen anyone do that before -- that's absolutely amazing! Tell me, are you a Doctor?"

"Oh good heavens, no," replied the slightly embarrassed man. "I work for the Inland Revenue."

how's the grub?

scrummy :)

Go on - bite the 'ead off

oh come on!! stop being such a pig teaser ;)

Why is that man about to shoot that nice young lady's boob off?

alan, can you think of a better place to point yer big, fully loaded weapon ?

bos
you still up

Thats it.

Is anyone here going to Clerkenwell tomorrow????

who??

Clerkenwell, Bos.
They are having a sponsored charity event there tomorrow, in a converted photography studio. Its a sponsored ****. the media are calling it a masturbate-a-thon.
I can think of a few on these boards who I was convinced would have an invite.
They are hoping someone can break the world records of 6 hrs 20 mins for a woman and 8 and a half hours for a man.
Volunteers????
Alan

Have you got a hand in it Alan?
kim

Not a whole hand, obviously.

8.5 hours, though? Talk about repetitive strain injury!

Here's the full article:

http://www.24dash.com/content/news/viewNews.php?navID=47&newsID=8284

I've just had an awful thought.
most charity events (and channel 4 programmes) have b-list celebrities to host them and take part.
What if the charity has hired Christopher biggins and Jo Brand.
If Jo Brand is there "taking part" I absolutely garauntee to beat the 8.5 hour record. It will take me longer than that to find the damn thing.
Alan