Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

who??

Clerkenwell, Bos.
They are having a sponsored charity event there tomorrow, in a converted photography studio. Its a sponsored ****. the media are calling it a masturbate-a-thon.
I can think of a few on these boards who I was convinced would have an invite.
They are hoping someone can break the world records of 6 hrs 20 mins for a woman and 8 and a half hours for a man.
Volunteers????
Alan

Have you got a hand in it Alan?
kim

Not a whole hand, obviously.

8.5 hours, though? Talk about repetitive strain injury!

Here's the full article:

http://www.24dash.com/content/news/viewNews.php?navID=47&newsID=8284

I've just had an awful thought.
most charity events (and channel 4 programmes) have b-list celebrities to host them and take part.
What if the charity has hired Christopher biggins and Jo Brand.
If Jo Brand is there "taking part" I absolutely garauntee to beat the 8.5 hour record. It will take me longer than that to find the damn thing.
Alan

I want to know how they check you're not cheating. I mean, there you are, oscillating feverishly and they assume you're imagining getting stuck in a lift with all the female members of Vanilla Ninja (Who are they?), whereas meantime you could be deliberately thinking of something depressing in order to delay things. Such as SEO's chart, for example.

Al, maybe Vanilla Ninja will be there to provide something musically uplifting.

I've got to say, if you made this story up, no-one would believe it!!!
I cannot, for the life of me, imagine visiting family,friends and neighbours and saying;
"I'm off to London for a w**k, fancy sponsoring me by either the minute or fluid ounce"???

Al, what is the "spot" (pun not intended) price of a fluid ounce of spermatozoa? If there's a market, maybe MoneyAM could run a ticker.

And for goodness' sake don't try it at work - those of us who aren't our own CEO would get sacked on the spot.

Or transferred to the IT department.

Security would ejaculate him from the building.

oh cum on !!! i cannot believe how this thread has dribbled into this messy state. someone get a spurt on and post something to erect the tone before mam get a grip and start fingering people for being rude. i'm going to shuffle off back to work. i do hope this is the end of it and all this talk of self-abuse, (i'm catholic), hasn't rubbed people up the wrong way ;)

Stop whining.
Get a stiff upper lip, for gawds sake.
Anyway, my monkey has been naughty, the bishop needs a seeing to and I have some army memorabilia to polish.
alan

Sorry Bos, I shall take myself in hand at once.

Can't help noticing the replies are all using euphamisms.
On the subject of masturbation, could we be accused of beating around the bush?
Alan

A euphemism is a substitute for something embarassing (such as spelling euphemism with an 'a'). ;-o). Sorry Alan, couldn't resist that!!
kim

Everyone will be bushed after the marathon!
kim

Off to Majorca its getting a bit chilly here should be about 34c when we get there keep all the shares on hold till I get back.

kimoldfield - 04 Aug 2006 16:19 - 5014 of 5016
A euphemism is a substitute for something embarassing (such as spelling euphemism with an 'a'). ;-o). Sorry Alan, couldn't resist that!!
kim


Theres always someone who wants to blow there own trumpet.