Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Soldiers in enemy armed forces engaged by our boys will be suing our ammunition manufacturers next, for making the bangs too loud and scary.

Can't believe the earring thing - I mean I do, but I'm having difficulty. Either you wear the uniform and wear it properly, or you don't join the uniformed services.

People should definitely be better at putting up and shutting up.

End of rant, is there any tea in the pot?

If a planes crashes into my office building can I then sue the airline company for not placing a warning sign that this could happen?

I think not. What pisses me off more is that stupid ad on tv with the woman slipping on a wet floor and moaning and claiming that there were no warning signs.
The company should sue her for being so stupid and not looking where she was going.

Doesnt health and saftey say that we are responcible for our own saftey while in the work place and should report anything that could be dangerous? I wonder if she reported that wet floor.
The USA sue based culture is pathetic. It just lines the pockets on ambulance chasing lawyers.

ok rant over - I think I need more coffee.

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?

Hi Marc3254 and soul traders,

So sorry that your tea and coffee were luke warm but if they were piping hot and you spilt them you might have sued the providers of these beverages for not putting a warning sign on them.

Another one of those golden cross thingies approaching bos.
BBC.
Alan

Can I therefore sue my parents, in particular my mother for stress during birth?
Im sure this was a stressful time for me and I had no say in the matter. I dont remember any warning signs saying ' Caution you are about to be squeezed through a very small gap'

Aha Marc, but you have forgotten what it was like and are therefore not deemed to be suffering - good thing that we have no memory of our birth or we'd likely be traumatised for life (nightmares, claustrophobia, etc). And for that, you could sue.

Sorry, I'll take my lawyer hat off now.

Driver, "How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?"

Simple misapplication of genius, I fear. Which accounts for at least one-third of world history.

I once had an intelligent thought. Kept it in a box for years in case I ever needed it, but now I can't find the damn box.

Damm!!!

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?"

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

Driver, I just had an unprintable thought there.

The same person who decided to smash the Cochineal beetle into little pieces to make his food go pink.

st
You sing it i'll play it.

Sorry, Driver, I'm too embarrassed.

at last !!!!

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at
you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

dogs? sorry thought you were talking about some of my old girlfriends. I didnt blow thrm they blew me. You can see how I got confused.

"Quote of the week".
I sometimes think I have a different script to the rest of the world. I have now had it confirmed that if I am insane then the guy quoted below has gone way past insanity into the dreamy hills and fluffy clouded skies at the other side.
Below is from the court case of a blind and deaf man being prosecuted for driving a car while being guided by his friend who was banned from driving. The defence lawyer simply couldn't recognise sanity if it had big flashing lights on it!

Defence solicitor Timothy Gascoyne invited the bench to acquit his client of dangerous driving.

In his closing submissions, the lawyer told the court: "The question is not whether his driving was dangerous, but whether being blind makes it dangerous.''

From the same case;

Prosecutor Peter Love asked Pc Austin if he had noticed anything about Aziz. Pc Austin replied: "I did - he didn't have any eyes, Your Worships.''

You really couldn't make this up!! Even in their pomp, Monty Python would never have come up with a sketch as ridiculous and off the wall as this, and this remember, is real life. A real and educated human being is trying to argue that a deaf man with no eyes, leg tremors and bouts of serious depression, driving a car in a built up area, while being guided by a banned driver, is not dangerous!! And you thought your job was difficult!!!