Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

What would I have to do?

bosley is our leader bosley is our leader nah nah nah na

not decided yet, but it'll have something to do with cream ;p

Are we holding elections for bosleys stalker????
My vote goes to chocolat, due to the strange and enigmatic codes they use for each other, and having seen the piccies of her on the golf thread, she terrifies me in a way only Alfred Hitchcock thrillers should.

holding my election as we speak fank yu velly much. cream anyone?? ;)

Careful, Bos.
I have it on very good authority that while you were out, chocolat sneaked around and wired a web cam to your computer, in order that she could stalk in a more menacing way.
Careful what you do when you go to those strange sites jimmy e-mails to you ;-)
Alan

What strange sites ???? anyway i wanted you all to be the first to know ,i'm coming out ,i've decided i'm a lesbian .

holding my election again ;)

Aha.
That'll be a bi-election then.


So soon? ;)

Oh yes :)

Viagra works, but chocolate works better Tuesday September 12, 06:07 PM

LAGOS (AFP) - Viagra may heat up one's sex drive, but chocolate can make it sizzle.

So said Dr. Dora Akunyili, the director of Nigeria's Federal Agency for Food and Medicine, in advising Nigerians on Monday to forego the little, libido-boosting blue pills in favor of a measured dose of cocoa.

To back up her claims -- made during a meeting with the vice-governor of one of Nigeria's states -- the good doctor cited a recently published study extolling the libidinal qualities of cocoa beans.

The report, produced by Nigeria's national committee for the development of cocoa, may be a bit skimpy on double-blind scientific tests, but it does refer to the marketing campaign of a British trade association making similar claims.

Baptized "Feeding Your Imagination", the campaign will soon launch a product line of six energy chocolate bars containing essential oils said to enhance one's mood, and especially one's sexual appetite.

Costing about six US dollars (5 euros) per 100 grams, the bars are fetchingly named Sexy, Beautiful, Dreamy, Fantastic, Sensual and Lovely, according to the website foodnavigator.com.

Britons already lead the European Union in chocolate consumption, eating nearly 10 kilos on average per year, and Britian is thus considered a promising market for sex candy.

For Akunyili, chocolate is the obvious lover's choice. Viagra, she said, can have unwelcome side effects, but chocolate is all good: it is the best anti-oxidant known and -- beyond its sexual virtues -- can help prevent heart attacks, hypertension and diabetes.

The vice governor, who also happens to head a committee for the promotion of chocolate, is even more enthusiastic about cocoa's curative powers, claiming it can "cure breast cancer, get rid of chronic coughs, and enhance brain power".

Akunyili did caution, however, that any new products containing chocolate will be thoroughly tested before going to market.

"chocolate will be thoroughly tested before going to market"

how thorough ?
and which market?

Surprised you didn't want to hold another election for vice governor.

I'm ever so good with vice. I can do that.

if only i could govern my vices ........

Had an offer accepted for a house. Its been a good weekend.
I was driving past a rather nice public park today and noticed that all along the roadside the council had erected huge boulders as a fetching, but effective way of keeping the gypsys out.
This has led me to a whole new theory on the real practical reasons our ancestors erected Stone Henge. I am about to submit a paper to National Geographic entitled " On the subject of giant Gypsys camping in Monolithic Temples".
I expect nothing less than 2 nobel prizes and a phalanx of local liberals and social workers banging my door down to give me counselling on my prejudiced views of travellers (and possibly invite me to a tea, biccies and angst session at our local outreach centre).
Now where was I............Oh yes...........Dear National Geographic............

hewittalan6

That was so witty [ not ]. Before you say it , i wouldn't stalk you even if i was gay and you was the only gay in the village.

Agony aunt Al replies;
Aldwickk, dear. Unrequited love is such a terrible thing to endure, but I know you'll get through it. Many people will probably think the posts of Hewittalan6 are dull, uninformative and as far away from funny as it is possible to get, but they don't feel the need to follow every one of his posts with those repeated comments, do they? This tells me you have some unresolved problems.
tell me, do you relate to Daffyd?? Your homosexual urges are nothing to be ashamed of in this day and age, and it may do you good to talk about them with your partner, if you have one, or your collection of barbie dolls if you don't.
I urge you to seek some attention before you slide further into despair, because this addictive behaviour will make your life so less bearable, to the point where you are as lonely as a Hezbollah member at a Barbara Streisend concert, and just as welcome.
Try to get out more and interact with real people. You will find someone who wants you. Eventually. You may have to look along time but it will be worth it and then you can put your infatuations behind you and rejoin the human race.
Good Luck.
Agony Aunt Al

Forget the blind driver.
This is an absolute belter;

But BAE Systems said it was not embarrassed about its efforts to protect the environment or by a statement on its website that "lead used in ammunition can harm the environment and pose a risk to people".

WOW. Bullets that are not a risk to people!!!

hewittalan6

If i had any homosexual urges i wouldn't have Barbie dolls i have a action man.

Why do you feel the need to take up half a page to answer my post? you are such a pompous wind bag i bet you send letters to the editor of your local rag every week to impress people . I bet you sound and look like Captain Mainwaring.

You think Tony and I are twins??????
Or are you so unoriginal that you can only think of the one insult?
After all, the last time you tried something all you could do was copy Little Britain.
Don't take it so personally, old bean. You are just such an easy and tempting target, I'm actually quite bored with it all now. Its a bit like asking Frank lampard to play in the Sunday pub football league.
Take a wee breather, stop making yourself look so foolish, and find some kind of therapy to take your mind off me. You know it makes sense.
Love and kisses,
Alan