Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Britain AKA Little America............................

Seen "Team America: World Police" already?? Hilarious (it's the one with puppets, by the creators of South Park).

i may soon be joining the ranks of the non-smoker. well, i'm starting to seriously think about it. i would have prefered it if they had left the decision about smoking to the landlords. they should have been been free to decide if they wanted their pubs to be smoking or non-smoking and clearly advertise that. then the punter can decide if he wants to go into a non-smoking pub or not. i mean, what happened to being able to make up your own mind ?

Don't know. I'll wait and see what the governemnt tell me to say about making my mind up.

I quote the graffiti artist, Banksy: "The reason many people don't use their initiative is because no-one told them to." :o)

Good point Bosley. I got stopped for not wearing a seat belt the other day and when I asked the copper why, he explained that if I had an accident I would be a drain on the health service as the local hospital would have to patch me up, and that would be wrong.

I suggested to him that if that were true, then he should make it his duty to stop anyone partaking in dangerous sports such as hang gliding, he should stop every football match he sees beiong played in case someone gets injured, and he should immediately arrest anyone over 40 seen jogging.

Authority seems to want to stamp itself on every aspect of our lives.

Don't get me started on Britain !! ,i'm fed up with it ,,i'm going round the pubs smoking when this starts ,i want to see one of these jobsworths try and give me an on the spot fine,i'll set him on fire ,, anyway when you look at the league tables on champinvest ,i'm wishing i was a woman of 70 living in Berkshire.

In a move to help smokers kick the habit, car owners will be charged 600 to fit a black box for the pay-as-you-drive pricing system; they will then be charged an extortionate fee for driving to the local corner shop to buy a packet of fags, which they will no longer be able to afford by the time they get there. Crafty innit?

Heres one to make your head spin.
I have a private office at home (as many do) which is tax deductable.
I own my own car which I hire to my company for business purposes (as a tax break).
Both are therefore officially places of work and I am advised this makes it illegal, from July, to smoke in my own home and car.
I would love to see some jumped up little prick from the council try to enforce that baby without getting an umbrella up his arse and forcibly opened.

Two old ladies were outside their nursing home, having a smoke when it started to rain. One of the ladies pulled out a condom, cut off the end, put it over her cigarette and continued smoking.

Lady 1: What's that?
Lady 2: A condom. This way my cigarette doesn't get wet.
Lady 1: Where did you get it?
Lady 2: You can get them at any drugstore.

The next day ... Lady 1 hobbles herself into the local drugstore and announces to the pharmacist that she wants a box of condoms. The guy looks at her kind of strangely (she is, after all, over 80 years of age), but politely asks what brand she prefers.

Lady 1: It doesn't matter as long as it fits a Camel.

In a School science class four worms were placed into four separate jars.

The first worm was put into a jar of alcohol.
The second worm was put into a jar of cigarette smoke.
The third worm was put into a jar of sperm.
The fourth worm was put into a jar of soil.

After one day, these were the results:
The first worm in alcohol --- dead.
The second worm in cigarette smoke --- dead.
The third worm in sperm --- dead.
The fourth worm in soil --- alive.

So the science teacher asked the class --- "What can you learn from this experiment."

Little Johnny quickly raised his hand and said. "As long as you drink, smoke and have sex, you won't have worms."

If there is a smoking section in a restaurant, should there be a peeing section in a swimming pool?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face.
The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question."

I have every sympathy with the American who was so horrified by what he had read of the effects of smoking that he gave up reading. -- Henry G. Strauss, 1892-1974

Funny thing is, Kim, the American Surgeon general issued a report on the health effects of passive smoking which concluded there is no risk to others health!!! Indeed, eating lettuce has a higher risk of causing ill health than habitually sitting in a room full of smokers!!
This is the report the entire western world has used to justify a ban on smoking.
There was a very good programme on it by Penn & Teller, that was very worth watching.
Alan

Would you go along with this Alan?:-

"It is now proved beyond doubt that smoking is one of the leading causes of statistics."
~~ Fletcher Knebel, Reader's Digest, December 1961.

Or this?:-

"Smoking kills. If you're killed, you've lost a very important part of your life."
~~ Brooke Shields, during an interview to become spokesperson for a federal
anti-smoking campaign. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I think I could see my way clear to agreeing with them both, but 89.7% of statistics are made up on the spot.

89.7% of the world population spend 89.7% of their time reading stastics. Yea, ok I just made that up. Statistics leave me cold, they may suit a purpose but should we always believe them? Statistically speaking I should have been dead and buried at least 30 years ago!

Have you ever tried to give up smoking Alan? Nicotine patches are great. Stick one over each eye and you can't find your cigarettes!

Just to show how useless statistics are, you are statistically more likely to be killed by an asteroid than a lightening strike, though no-one ever has been, but you are more likely to be badly injured by your nightwear than either.
Marvellous way to avoid a real job, being a statistician.
BTW. Work is 3 times as dangerous as warfare, according to statisticians.
Three times as many people die from work related accidents and diseases every year than do through acts of violence in an armed conflict.
Amazing but true, so give up your job as a cost accountant and become a mercenary. Its much safer.
Alan