Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

aw thanks Bos :)
(How did you know it was my birthday?)

i know everything, gorgeous ;)

(might see you wednesday, all things being equal and everyfink. )

Just thought i'd come on here where it is slightly more sane and high brow.
Many happy returns to Boz jnr.
1 year already, eh? The 3am trips to collect 'em from a nightclub will be here afore ye know it.
alan

Well, if the naughty step doesn't work



you'll know what to do, Bos ;)

Viagra is now available in liquid form. FDA officials today announced the release of the wonder drug, Viagra, in a new, easy-to-take liquid form. It is sold under the pharmaceutical name "Mydixadud." Now, when a man comes home from work in the evening, he can pour himself a stiff one.

This is for those on the SEO thread who asked a question about none hygienic ammo.

OK I have to explain re hygienic bullets (sorry to go off SEO track but it is interesting) for many years I was involved with firearms.
In training we used what was referred to as Dirty Ammo, which was cheaper due to it being re-loads. Ammo such as this if used on live targets can cause deaths due to contaminates even if the ballistic wound was by itself not a mortal wound.
This happens many times in wars. Infections from DA take hold very quickly.
In a live situation we used clean ammo, which obviously kills efficiently but targets don't die of infections so often.

So now you know.
Once again I apologize re going off thread.

Couldn't they just coat the dirty ammo in penecillin????

I always wanted to invent a Paxo bullet, so I could kill chickens and stuff them at the same time.

If you could adapt that to a nuclear bullet Alan, you could cook the chicken as well.

Kim, we got a business plan far advanced of SEO's.
I suggest a floatation of around 40 per share to produce depleted uranium / paxo bullets for Bernard Matthews. With Bird Flu around as well, we should clean up.

The beneficiary side effect after haven eaten such a chicken is that the humans start glowing and therefore do not need to switch on lights. This will reduce global warming.

Who needs vast, expensive organizations to sort out global warming when it can be done on the NOWT thread?

OK I should have known this would start the budding Monty Python script writers off.

Alan,

You have made a mistake, surely you mean Paxo Bullets for the turkeys, not for the man himself (Paxo Bullets for Bernard Mathews), but there again.

It puts a new slant (Paxo Bullets) on the saying, "Wait till you see the whites of their eyes".
But perhaps I should not go there.

GM. I think the saying should be slightly amended to "Wait till you see the whites of their eggs".

Kim - just saw an earlier post of yours where you talked about paying 25 commission ? I did not think anyone paid that these days. Try Barclays - 7.50 if you are a frequent trader - 12.50 if not - and they have I think an excellent on line dealing service.

Thinking about it, we have the entire new environmentally friendly sunday lunch at our disposal.
Paxo bullets for the chickens, drop cluster bombs on potato fields to create lots of hot and creamy mash, replace the napalm in flamethrowers with Bisto and suddenly the anti war brigade and the global warming set are happy.
If the animal rights lot don't like it we can always employ ex US marines to shoot the chickens. They will almost certainly miss and shoot each other, but they will not die of lead poisoning.
Time to ring George W. and tell him he has tried "Hearts and Minds" and "Shock and Awe", and they failed. He should now try "Meat and two veg".
This is easy. What do we pay politicians so much for??
Alan

Baz, thanks for that. I know 25 sounds a lot but I have now negotiated a lower rate with NatWest Stockbrokers, plus the link with my current account at NatWest is beneficial so I will probably stick with them for now for my bigger deals.

Alan, there is no way I would let George W. get his hands on my meat and two veg!

A cardiac specialist died and at his funeral the coffin was placed in front of a huge mock up of a heart made up of flowers. When the pastor finished with the sermon and eulogy, and after everyone said their good-byes, the heart opened, the coffin rolled inside and the heart closed. Just then one of the mourners burst into laughter.
The guy next to him asked: "Why are you laughing?"
"I was thinking about my own funeral" the man replied.
"What's so funny about that?"
"I'm a gynecologist."

Al: or "Parsley and Thyme".

If you did not have a bad day on the Stock Market today, then very well done you. If however you did as 'well' as I, then here is a timely reminder of what it is all about!

STOCK: A magical piece of paper that is worth 10,000 until the moment you buy it. It will then be worth 11.50.

BOND: What you had with your spouse until you pawned his/her golf clubs to invest in Stanelco.

BROKER: The person you trust to help you make major financial decisions. Please note the first five letters of this word spell Broke.

BEAR: What your trade account and wallet will be when you take a flyer on that hot stock tip your secretary gave you.

BULL: What your broker uses to explain why your mutual funds tanked during the last quarter.

MARGIN: Where you scribble the latest quotes when you're supposed to be listening to your manager's presentation.

SHORT POSITION: A type of trade where, in theory, a person sells stocks he doesn't actually own. Since this also only ever works in theory, a short position is what a person usually ends up being in (i.e. "The rent, sir? Hahaha, well, I'm a little short this month.").

COMMISSION: The only reliable way to make money on the stock market, which is why your broker charges you one.

very funny ..... and there's lots of them

another one

guide to london :))