Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

PINK CURTAINS

A blonde woman goes into a department store and tells the salesman she wants a pair of pink curtains.

He assures her they have a good selection of pink curtains.

He shows her many kinds an different fabrics of curtains she finally picks out a pink floral pattern.

The salesman asks, "What size do you need?"

She says, "15 inches."

He exclaims, "15 INCHES!.......What kind of room are they for?"

She says, "It's not for a room, it's for my computer monitor."

The surprised salesman exclaims, "Miss, computers do not need curtains."

The blonde says.............(wait for it)
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"HELLooooooo.........I've got Windows, stupid!!"

And I've got a maggot in my Apple :o)

St - your lucky, you could have half a maggot :-)

:o)

jimmy, i thought shares mag were a bit nasty in their article on you. shame on them ;) keep it up.

Special dedication to one of our 'popular' posters

Shares mag bos ?????

Our correspondent can't spell either jimmy!

Every looser wins..... top trader loose practically everything"

FRIDAY FUNNY

"THE FAMOUS PAL DIET"

I have 2 large dogs & I was buying a huge bag of Pal at Sainsbury's and was standing in line at the check out.

The woman standing behind me asked if I had a dog.

On impulse, I replied "No madam, I do not".

I told her that I was starting 'The Famous Pal Diet' again, although I probably shouldn't because I had ended up in hospital last time. However, I told her that I'd managed to lose 50 pounds before I woke up in an intensive care unit with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV lines in both arms.

"That's amazing", she replied.

I told her that it was essentially the perfect diet and was so damn easy. "The way it it works is to load your pockets with Pal nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry ". "The food is so nutritionally complete that I am going to try it again in order to lose another 50 pounds".

I must mention that practically everyone in the line was by now totally enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was standing behind her.

Wide-eyed, she asked if the reason I'd ended up in the hospital in a coma was because I had been poisoned.

I replied "No madam; it was simply because I'd been sitting around in the middle of the road, licking my balls and minding my own business, when a car hit me".

Stupid b*tch...why else would I be buying dog food??

Jammyjimmy,

Thanks. After a bad week, it has now finished with a smile. Would loved to have been in that checkout.

Bos where are you ??? ,it looks like i lost my lead in the game,,, your rght shares mag were not to kind to me in their write up..

LMAO - great story :o)

Jimmy, commiserations on your unexpected notoriety, however it must be gratifying in some small way to at least have your name in print.

Thanks soul ,,,, it would be better to have my name in print for winning the world heavywieght championship ,or winning the Monaco Grand Prix ,,or maybe Wimbledon, (in staight sets), anyhow your right i'll have to settle for that ,,lost it all but came back ,and didn't win anyway :-) However i have another string to my bow.

jimmy, there's still one more day to go. who knows what's going to happen on monday ??

anyway, as for that string you were talking about, is this the kind of thing you meant?

Cheers bos ,,a bigger picture in future..

You opened the curtains yet, bos?

well that's what you get if you're near the driving range where the moneyam team are doing a bit of practice ;)

Lost yours behind the bush, did you?

Jimmy B, if you right-click on the picture, then click "properties", you should be able to find out the URL where the original pic is posted ;o)