Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Yup. D'accord.
Had a wonderful time last year in Cozumel, a small island off Mexico.
What I was really looking forward to was the wonderful Mexican cooking. I could easily kill for the spicy wraps etc. full of seasoned beef and chicken and jalapenos.
At the hotel (and all the others on the island) the food was pretty tasteless and tended to be of the mild chilli variety, or perhaps worse, pizza and fries.
We were all inclusive and mentioned this to the chef. he responded that they never have jalapenos on the menu, or any other traditionally mexican food. He was under instruction to keep food bland and plentiful, as client feedback suggested this was preferable.
I didn't believe this so I asked the management. A really nice Spanish manager explained that this really was true. Over 80% of guests were American, and they complained that the food was too spicy. When I pulled something of a face at this, he smiled and reminded me that Mexico was to the USA as Spain is to England and if I went to Benidorm it would be so much easier to get Fish and Chips and a pint of Tetleys than it would be to get a good paella and glass of spanish wine.
Its possibly true, and very sad, that worldwide, cultures are either being dominated by the tourist trade or homogonised into a "one size fits all" culture.
Perhaps thats why I loved Cuba so very much. It had almost nothing by way of outside influence. Everything was either grown or produced there and traditional to Cuba, or you couldn't get it. The only influence from anywhere else was russian, and as I have never ventured to russia, I could not comment.

Seems like the race for stupidity title has hotted up this week.
The entrants so far today are Cambridgeshire Police and Rachael Durnigan (21) of the British Youth Council.
cambridgeshire police have devoted much money to handing posters to local shops asking them not to sell eggs and flour to kids in the run up to trick or treat and mischeivious night. This is to the same shops that the police cannot get to stop selling cider to kids, so thats going to work.
There is, in some areas a problem with these nights getting somewhat sinister, rather than fun, but surely the simple answer is a police presence in the areas affected. They have gone on to realise that this is not daft enough, and so have said that children in possession of such, may be arrested. Going equipped to make a sponge cake I presume. I would love to see that one stick.
Face it guys. The only way is more coppers on street corners and the ability to confiscate. Mugging old ladies and nicking cars only gets a 10 minute bollocking from a senior plod, so what will possession of self raising get? Big deterrant.
Now rachael was annoyed at all this. Her constituents are being "demonised". How could she react.
With an intelligence level somewhere between a cuttlefish and a line dancer, she attacked the police for.......................discrimination! She reasoned that no-one would ever dare to question an accusation of such a heinious crime. Discriminating against kids. How low can our boys in blue go?
So while the coppers claim a lack of manpower to keep our homes safe, Rachael insists that they take an even handed approach. She seems to be suggesting that the fear caused at this time of year is not only kids, but those Saga louts blowing their pension on surplus food stuffs to throw at your windows and then run like hell to the safety of the nearest bingo hall.
Face it Rachael. Even you cannot get that one to make sense.
It is kids, that in some areas, make this next week a living hell. Its not adults. they do it the rest of the year. And coppers. Get a grip. Asking the local shopkeeper to not sell things never worked before. The fear of running round a corner and bumping into the local bobby always did. It would again if you rearranged the shifts.
After all, the amount of traffic coppers has reduced speeding and drink driving. You never asked pubs to stop serving beer or car manufacturers to limit their motors to 30MPH.

I'd have thought you'd be in favour of this one, Alan. Trick or treat - another ghastly US import corrupting the minds of the young!

Ban it, I say, and return to the more traditional British pastimes of Maypole Dancing and village stocks!

Don't get me wrong, Oblo.
I was in two minds whether to rant about trick or treat, that most Charlie Brown of traditions or have a go at Rachael.
rachael won because I could not believe the discrimination card came out so readily.
Kinda shows that any argument is swallowed whole providing one can slip the words Race, prejudice or discrimination into the quote.
Alan

Laugh??? I nearly cried.

A man has been shot by his dog while on a hunting trip in the United States.
James Harris, 37, was shot in the leg after one of his hunting dogs stepped on his gun.

Wonderful. he left his safety catch off and the gun with his dog!!! LOADED!!!
It gets better;

Alan Foster, a spokesman for the Iowa Department of Natural Resources, said it was not uncommon for hunters to be shot by their dogs.

I propose we offer the dogs target practise. It may do nothing or the poor deceased hunter, but imagine the vast improvement in the International gene pool.

Reading all your rants about the USA ,and i'm sitting here in south west Florida having a wonderful time with my US friends ,i spend a lot of time here and it's just not as bad as you say Al..

Probably not old bean, just not my cup of tea.
We probably have a lot to thank them for (?) but in with the good, comes the abysmally bad. When I think of the things that make my beloved Britain appear to be morally and intellectually bankrupt, I always seem to see things we have imported from America. Gang gun crime, the PR brigade, the litageous society, the crappy reality TV, baseball caps, trick or treat, cardboard food, work practices (I hate it when I hear reference to "work partners" or "colleagues") etc. etc.
Perhaps its a bit lazy of me to lay it at the US door (or front porch), but these things do seem to gather momentum there and then arrive on our shores.
I am often struck that in the more laid back, easy living countries, Americanisms don't seem (to me at least) quite so prevelant as they are here.
I'll leave off them and let them carry on being murdered by their pets for a while. ;-)
Alan

WILL SOMEBODY GET THESE PEOPLE A REAL JOB!!!!!!!!!

Christmas should be downgraded unless other religious festivals are marked on an even footing, a Government think-tank has said.

(Advertisement)
The Institute of Public Policy Research has suggested various ideas to make the UK more multicultural.

It also wants "national culture" barriers to be torn down to help immigrants settle into the UK.

In a report due to be published in coming weeks, the organisation said: "If we are going to continue to mark Christmas - and it would be very hard to expunge it from our national life even if we wanted to - then public organisations should mark other major religious festivals too.

"Even-handedness dictates that we provide public recognition to minority cultures and traditions."

It emerged in 2006 that three out of four employers were not putting up Christmas decorations in the workplace for fear of offending staff of other cultures.

I.m.o people that dont go to work including men and women that stay at home to look after the kids (havent they heard of nannies) excluding those that have retired, should be kept of our roads it should be illegal for them to own cars. There is no rush hour anymore its all day, on your day of or when you have finished work you can not go any where or get home.
If people do not work then walk lazy s*ds.


Ban Christmas and religions we should all have the whole of December off.

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the barman "have you seen my brother?"
"I dont know" says the barman "what does he look like?"

Had occassion to go to London yesterday. No fun, as usual except for one bright spot.
Every building was festooned with no smoking signs, to the extent that i wondered where on earth the Christmas lights would go. But in one establishment was an extra sign in a prominent position.
It read;
The management thank you for not smoking. If you are smoking, they thank you for allowing us to rip your head off your shoulders, stick it up your arse, and pass the 50 fine to your widow.
Hate the law, love the humour.

I was up town the other day and met James Whale in person nice bloke, if you don't know who he is you should. He has got a new book out, he says Global warming is a load of old rubbish and he is not going to recycle anything what we should do is reduce the amount of people on the planet that should sort it out. Just some of his views.

Sat in on his Radio Aire late night phone in on the night of Andrew & Fergies wedding................but thereby hangs another tale.....................

Who gets the vote this weekend, then guys???
The Archbishop of Canterbury who is worried about child and youth crime and so proposes to raise the age of criminal consent. He claims that a 16 year old may not know right from wrong. It would certainly reduce youth crime figures. To zero!!
Or is it the ministry mandarin concerned that not enough 14 year olds are passing the Sats tests at school. His proposal is to make sure only clever kids sit the tests and the rest don't. Winning formulas in my opinion, to make sure the figures reflect policy success.
Neither actually do anything for the problem, of course, but if the problem doesn't appear in official statistics, it doesn't officially exist and no-one has to do anything about it.
Sheer genius.

The vote for me is Jools Holland who I went to see last night with Lulu playing in Cambridge, if you get the chance go and see them excellent show.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XklHoUCR-Xs

does anybody know anything about this lot? what i mean is, is this a con or is it legitamate ?

http://www.greatgifts.org/

World Vision are a very well known Christian charity doing enormously good work, and I would recommend them 110%. I know many people who support them.

thanks , seymour. i just wanted to make sure.

We actually bought a goat in lieu of a wedding present (as requested by the couple in question). They were much more expensive then, perhaps goat futures have collapsed in the meantime. Of course there is no way of checking whether the goat actually arrived or indeed if it has been eaten.

">

well, it made me laugh.