Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

MAM are doing a panto this year, so line up for the auditions.
They were going to do a nativity play but after trawling through all the BB contributors they couldn't find 3 wise men and a virgin.

Bet they could find plenty willing to make an ass of themselves though!

I hope you enjoyed St Andrew's day James1 and celebrated like a true Scot - with a nice cup of tea and a shortbread biscuit.

1) Was it St Andrews day?????
2) I'm not a Scot
3) Surely the traditional way is with a pint of Heavy, a fish supper, a deep fried Mars Bar and a fight down the local.
;-)
Alan

BREAKING NEWS:

After all the fuss in Sudan over the teddy bear called Mohammed, Sooty has decided to cancel his tour of Jamaica.
More to follow.........................

Nice one Al ,where's bos these days ??

groups for 2008 euros

i can't believe italy's group !!! what feckin' spanner worked out that bleedin' system ?

i'm still here, jimmy. how's you?

Hi bos ,i'm fine i am moving to Florida in the new year ,lock stock ,i've been threatening to do it for years but now my son has grown up i feel i can,, so i'm off .
I have had enough of Britain ,traffic wardens speed cameras and all the other crap that Blair's done to this country. Iv'e just been back out there and completed on a house, can't wait ...

Awesome! Good for you Jimmy! Can we look forward to pics of some Florida beauties or are you abandoning us in the dirty mac brigade as well?! Good luck for the future and as they would also say out there, enjoy.

Kim (Steve)

Best of British, Jimmy. I hope you have a fantastic time and I very much appreciate the sentiments of escaping the blights of Blighty!!!
You know my thoughts on Uncle Sam so I will restrict myself to helping you pack the things you need and leave behind those you don't ;-)
To take; Baseball cap, Semi-automatic weapon of your choice, every BBC DVD you can think of (have you seen cable???), Dummies guide to suing everyone, extra stomach for all that starch based food and drink.
To leave behind; Humour, any knowledge at all that there is a world outside the USA, Most of your IQ, Umbrellas, the ability to queue and the notion you can be sane without the need of a psycho-analyst.
Have cards printed up saying "No, I don't know Mrs Smith from Blackpool", and remember that every time the Star Spangled Banner is played it is your duty to shout out "Thats not American, thats an old English tune you bunch of pinko rednecks". I think you will find the automatic weapon useful at this point.
Seriously, have great fun and all the very best.
Alan (&H)

Thanks chaps ,,,,, and Al your bang on, however here is my plan ,i'm moving to Naples which is a very wealthy town in s w Florida on the Gulf so no crime ,it really is not like a lot of the U S A which i have travelled extensively over the years ,i shall buy the Sunday Times on a Wednesday to keep up with last weeks british news ,and watch the BBC channel for news and last years Top Gear ,which by next year will be interesting ,i shall park where i like for 3 days if i want without my car being broken in to and clamped ,i shall also keep my driving license ,i will have more money, a sun tan and fill up my car for the price of a british pack of cigs.

Ha!, we are not in the slightest bit jealous Jimmy. We are BRITISH, we like to have our cars broken into/stolen/clamped, we thoroughly enjoy paying huge prices for petrol, huge taxes on anything that does or does not move, ridiculous prices for parking in an area where our cars will get a really good battering just so that we can go into town to get mugged, pounced on by beggars etc etc, oh, and we love our government. How else could we keep up the tradition of the good old British "stiff upper lip"? Stiff after getting nutted I should add!

Kimoldfield,

I thought your post was going to conclude with the comment......Can things get worse. My feelings are, Yes they can and will.
And believe it or not I'm an optimist. Good job I'm not a pessimist, I would be heading for our local bridge over the river Humber.

Jimmy B,

I also send my best wishes. No doubt you will keep posting. Will you still be share dealing/investing?
With the time lag we may hear info prior to yourself and visa versa.
As long as such info does not state, 'Info not to be released in UK/USA etc and is in the general arena of the releasing country,we should be OK.
Always wanted a Mole in the USA. (I must stop watching 'Spooks').

Jimmy,
Why does it come as no shock to me that you have chosen to live in a town with a name so close to "nipples". Was Brest and The Bikini Atoll also on your shortlist??
I've travelled and lived around a fair bit, and now you've given me a quandry!!!
I love the UK with a passion bordering on Churchillian, and wherever I have been I have missed the following;
The freshness after a good rainstorm, The pub culture, the humour, the Yorkshire Dales, afternoon tea, people accepting their lot in life, political satire, boring Sundays, rained off cricket matches, 2 universities seeing who can row fastest being considered a world class sporting event, never being very good at anything, hot water bottles and people apologising to me when I walk into them. I run home to all these, every time.
But heres the point. Every time I come back, another one has disappeared, to be replaced by a foreign culture, usually spawned by Brussells beaurocracy, Disney, Neighbours or a book called something like; "How to Dynamically live a Dynamic Life, Dynamically".
So what do I do? Stay and watch all that I love being eroded, or go and remember forever a Britain of my (relatively recent) youth?
There is no hope for me. A hopeless romantic for the simpler days. If I emigrate, it must be to a different time, not a different country. i am so jealous you have found your idyll and really hope you make it a personal paradise. I will continue just getting more and more bitter that the world moves on and leaves me behind.

I've just re-read that and what started off as lightweight banter has deteriorated into a damn suicide note!!! Never mind, I really do feel all that.
Alan

The Humber eh Greek?! Remember the great old Humber car, sigh.......another great British product lost forever. I have to disagree though Greek, things cannot get worse, erm, er, oh no, can they???....

My old man had a Humber Super Snipe with column gearchange and front bench seat. On our annual summer holiday trip to his home territory in Sutherland, his five sons took it in turns to stand three abreast with our heads out of the sunroof and salute the occasional AA patrol man. The good old days........ Alan - you should write a book on British culture

Alan, you really do hit the nail on the head! Last time I was in the Yorkshire Dales I found to my dismay that one of the good old Yorkshire traditions was lost forever, pubs that always had beef dripping and chunks of bread on the bar for customers to gorge themselves on, are no longer allowed to do so for reasons that are way beyond my comprehension. I suggest that all true Brits (there probably aren't that many of us left now) get together and take over Anglesey and run it the way a British Institution should be run. For those who enjoy mountaineering, it would be a very short trip 'abroad' to Snowdonia, where it is nearly always fresh!

Thanks all ,and yes i will be investing and still posting on here it's been good fun over the years .
Al i agree with most of your take on the world and i would also like to move to another time zone probably the 40's when we all didn't have so much ,and if i was rich i would have looked at living somewhere in Europe ,however as much as i love Britain (and i do ) i just hate what it has become and what Blair has done to it I havn't found an idyll ,but in terms of what matters to me i may live with a little less stress.

Kim,
Did you ever watch that toungue in cheek documentary series on how to start your own country?? perhaps we should give it a go.
That guy declared his flat in London to be a principality, and technically it appears possible. The problem to overcome is to be recognised by the UN, and this is based on the number of citizens that recognise the country, but since they recognise the Vatican as an independant state we should have no problems!!
Volunteers please for the "Nice republic of MAMland".
Alan

Yep, I'll volunteer!