Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Never thought of that, not a bad idea.
Signed the Britannia petition, and it states it will be forwarded to the Prime Minister.
Hope he re-cycles it instead of throwing it straight in the bin.

As it's nothing more than piffling shit, one should give all of one's loose change to charity. Then it matters not a toss what's on the back of it. One simply doesn't have to bother with it.

Sorry Exec,
Can't do that. The EU council of Ministers decreed that charity workers and bankers are no longer allowed to handle coins (or containers of loose metal discs regardless of monetary value - as they call them) over 0.23 kilos in weight as part of the EU drive to reduce back strain in the workplace, or to count in excess of 0.67 Euros in a single hour to eradicate repetative strain injury among tellers.
If we did as you suggest, we would be liable to suing for negligence to the tune of 1million and, worse still, we might have to visit Brussells to explain.

Just been to the bookies and had a great bet.
I put 50p on at 1000/1 that at Beadles funeral as the cortege pulls up at the the church, the cheif undertaker will whip his glasses, false nose and moustache off to reveal its Noel Edmonds with a gotcha oscar.

i'm a bit baffled by all the fuss about beckham not being included in capello's first engaland squad. beckham hasn't played a match since november. how on earth could he be match fit? it beggars belief that those lobbying for beckham thought they could influence capello's team selection. the man is only interested in winning.

I also went to the bookies yesterday but for a different bet.
I wanted to put 1 on at best oddds that if all MP's expence accounts are ever scrutenised by audit, there would not be one that was found to be 100% on the level. Strange not 1 bookie would except the bet. They said they don't except bets on sure things.

.

Well Al who won the cartoon babe competittion ??

Sorry Jimmy,
Forgot to finish it all off.
The first place woman was Wilma, for no other reason than I am the sole judge.
The first place man was me, based on all the fan mail I got from the MAM wimmin, and that the only other nomination was John Noakes.
I won after a recount.
So its official.
Wilma Flintstone is a sex Goddess of the highest order, and I am sex-on-a-stick.
Alan

I have been so touched recent by the popular idea that we should all apologies for our past morally ambiguous history, that I went round to a neighbor yesterday to apologize personally. Through research I have found out that I am a decedent from a Viking Family that came over to rape and pillage in the 10th century. This was a shock as on previously speaking to my neighbor about descendancy he informed me that he had traced his family tree back to 974 AD and at that time his family were Anglo Saxons living in York.
I felt very bad at the possibility that my great great great and so on grandfather Eric the beautiful (It is believed he was the first viking to come out) possibly raped the great great (ok you get the idea) grandmother and perhaps because he was a bit that way inclined (can we still say that) great great grandfather of my neighbor.
Also their house was probably pillaged before it was burned to the ground.
I now have difficulty sleeping at nights and have decided to make financial retribution as I'm sure that will satisfy my conscience, as it appears to for most of the worlds political leaders.
I suggest we all look to our past, I believe it's good for the soul.

Note.... Any others out there who can send me evidence of their family being persecuted by the Vikings (especially Eric the beautiful) please contact me via the, 'weshouldapologizeforabsolutelybloodyeverything.com' and I will bear my sole in our local social prayer and absolution building (church) and ask Freya the Viking god of forgiveness for absolution.

Al thats just so out of order ,(i think iv'e caught the teenage lingo disease)

And greekman i have Swedish ancestry way back ,so i think i may have a lot to feel guilty about ,i might now have to go for counselling ..

I'm Welsh.....................so I only have the sheep to apologize to :o)

love the last paragraph :))

saw this this morning and thought i would share it with you. no wonder woollies are sinking.

Thanks for sharing that Bosley :o)
I'll bet Alan's bed is named Wilma.

Pole dancing is one of my favourite games.
Whats wrong with Tesco????
What are you talking about? Dumbing down.
Note for Woolworths.......the definition of dumbing down can be found at janetandjohn.com

From my post 6416 28th. Jan:-

'Todays figures are 1,000,000 unemployed and 2,640,000 on incapacity benefits (they do not work). If you also add in the fact that kids at Uni aren't included in unemployment figures (in Thatchers time they had to be found jobs - now they just get sent off for a wasted 4 or 5 years at so called universities in my opinion just to keep them out of the unemployment figures) you come up with a far higher real jobless total than ever there was under Thatch.'

News today:-

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml?xml=/news/2008/02/02/nbenefit102.xml&CMP=ILC-mostviewedbox

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/7223687.stm


Do the journalists read this thread for the pearls of wisdom we produce, do you think?

Anyway, I rest my case!

Alan, did your bookies give odds for Jeremy Beadle himself popping up out of his coffin and telling us we'd been framed/Gamed for a laugh/etc?

And as one of those lucky recipients of Incapacity Benefit, I'd like to point out that David Freud is wrong when he says that it it is "ludicrous that the disability tests are done by people's own GPs". This is not true. Applicants are seen by a doctor who administers the tests of a claimant's incapacity on behalf of the DWP and who is employed specially for this purpose.

It doesn't say much for the Government's proposals for reform if they don't even know how the system works at present.

However, my experience of the tests leads me to believe that the current system doesn't address every claimant's situation adequately and may be creating loopholes whereby some people who are able to work avoid having to do so.

And for the record, I wish I could go back to work rather than live off the state, because I've got a lot of better things to do than sit here picking my nose and giving our politicians something to snipe at. :o)

I have to agree, though, that Woolworths have done the right thing - or been obliged to do the right thing - in withdrawing the Lolita bed. I am very concerned about the sexualisation of children and find it wholly inconsistent that we publicise the names of paedophiles in a national register to protect children from that particular threat of abuse, yet do not protect them from exploitation by corporations who value profits over the right of young people to enjoy being children for as long as possible.

Woah there, ST.
Starting to get a couple of serious posts!!!!

In that vein, I have a brother and his girlfriend who claim incapacity benefit, and many other acquaintances who also claim.
While I do not grudge a single farthing to those who are genuinely incapacitated, I struggle with the wisdom of what is deemed incapacitated for work.
I think the government are doing the right thing in addressing the nature of the tests. I look at many, who may not be in any condition to swing a pickaxe for 8 hours a day, but there is very little excuse for not been able to answer a phone or use a computer, or many other tasks. Stephen Hawking solves the mysteries of the universe on the back of a fag packet and they don't get much more incapacitated than that!! The guys down to about the use of a single eyebrow!!
No. Its about time we asked the woman who claims due to her obesity if she can use a phone. If she can, she can do some work, even if it is only token.
My brother and his missus can both drive and are mobile, but they claim incapacity benefit quite happily, and legally, because they are little worse off than working at the kind of jobs available to them. Something wrong there. Sorry to sound all right wing, but there is.
The genuinly incapacitated should be up in arms, because if those kinds of claimants give the whole thing a bad name and take resources away from the genuine and deserving cases.

You don't sound right wing. Alan, just sensible. My original point on this was merely to point out that the unemployment figures have 'fallen' since Thatcher's time purely because they now put the numbers elsewhere - i.e. incapacity benefits!