Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

I've checked the date.
It isn't the first of April.
I looked behind my cornflakes and their was no sign of his Noeliness, Noel Edmonds with a Gotcha Oscar.
It isn't even a stunt to commemorate the death of Beadle.
So it must be that a general election is coming.
I'm basing this on an early contender for muddled thinking of the year award that I read this morning.
Labour are slowly clawing the opinion polls back and the tories are worried. Some bod has decided the best way to counter this is to wheel out an ancient tory from the years of The Maggon, to say something stupid.
Enter, stage left, Lord Tebbit.
In a week where a local 13 year old was charged with a stabbing at a local school. In a 12 months where youth gun and knife crime is universally considered the biggect threat to society and more people than ever before (according to a survey) are scared to go on the streets after dark, Lord Tebbit has the answer.
He proposes we give all boys and young men guns and teach them to shoot, to rid them of the aggression and need for violence they currently take out on their X Box.
He reasons if they spend their time on the moors turning birds into clouds of feathers and dust, or reducing the rabbit population, they will go home to help old ladies across the road and perform charitable works. Theres no way they will use their new found skills for the purposes of , say, getting rid of their drug debt problem, or hijacking cars or anything.
Hmmm.
Methinks Lord Tebbit could have an instructive few hours explaining that one to the good people of Hungerford. Or Dunblane.
All we need now is for the current tory leadership to fulfill part two of the plan. To step forward and remind us all how much better the tories are now and that we should all be grateful that they have changed so much.
Its a great plan, spoiled only by one thing. Labour can counter it by wheeling out Kinnock and Hatton and saying the same thing.

SIlly old sod. I don't think anyone is going to take him seriously, they never did that much. He's not representative of the current Tories and was never that representative in Thatchers days.

He does have a point to a certain degree, though, in that getting them involved in something that is exciting, with a bit of controlled danger - such as an outward bounds course

http://www.outwardbound.org.uk/home.html

would be a way of channeling their aggression and building their self-worth. Maybe we need a scheme to make these courses available to all kids, especially those vulnerable to the gun/knife culture.

I think I might support the party that brings back the days of the Gladiator, let them take their aggression out in a Gladiator stadium..................throw in a few lions and they'll definitely get my vote.

Now theres an idea that covers itself in margarine and rumbles round my underpants........................
Could we have James Alexander Gordon reading the results every Satrurday Teatime? Car theives 47 dead v Vandals 47 dead, Score Draw.
I'm liking it....................

Norman Tebbit as ref?

Just googled the idea and apparantly it was tried before by Peter Hain.
Unfortunately the results were inconclusive and despite filling Wembley with spectators, the official returns showed only 17 people attending and a net loss of exactly the amount allowed to be carried forward for corporation tax purposes.
Commenting on the Mr Hain said there was some suggestion that the crowd figures were manipulated, but that the 47million spent on Winalot to smear on the partcicpants to attract the lions was a legitimate expense, and had nothing to do with his mate being chairman of Winalot.
We believe him entirely, and consider his financial and tax affairs to be as pure and innocent as a 1947 Disney cartoon. And just as factual.

BTW.
Just thought. The Romans always had a guy doing the thumbs up or down bit at the end. We need one of those.
Wonder if that copper who was suspended is available?

I think it would help if these boys/girls had somewhere other than street corners to go! Free boxing/wrestling/ gym sessions somewhere to work off their energy and aggression. To give Norman his due the idea isn't all daft--there is clay pigeon shooting or paint balling!! How much actual fun do some of these youngsters have?
All over the world it's becoming more obvious that so called civilised behavior is little more than superficial. Hey it's Sunday--how about a joke or two!

What about Boris? He'd add a sense of fun to the proceedings.

moneyplus

I agree with what you say. There isn't anywhere where kids can go 'for free' other than the 'street corner'. There isn't anything they can do for free other than amuse themselves by taking some kind or low, medium or high risk by getting involved in some mischief or other. They are absolutely bored out of their brains.

Particularly, with the Olympics coming along, this is where we ought to be spending tons of money. Namely on free sporting activities for kids. Things like free outdoor illuminated pitches for basket ball, soccer, tennis, baseball, fives courts, biking ramps, skateboard ramps, roller skating rinks, cricket nets, bowling alleys, gymnasiums, boxing, wrestling, judo, kung fu and other martial arts facilities, etc, etc, etc., so that there can be some organised competitions and leagues.

Indeed, every town or urban area should have extensive facilities of this sort so that kids can either participate or just go and be able to hang out as spectators.

So what's different from when most of us were kids? I would suggest that kids of today have a hell of a lot more to do than I ever did. PCs, Ipods, game consoles, trot down McDonalds and other stuff besides. The problem is not that they don't have anything to do but that they would rather cause trouble by crossing the line; why do they cross the line? Because they don't have values. Where do they get their values from? Mainly their parents and society to a degree. I wonder how many teenagers of today are members of their local library? I would hazard a guess and say not very many.

I'll echo PTH.
And more to the point there is loads of free stuff to do and places to go.
Leeds is awash with out of school activities and evening meets. The simple and unescapable fact is if you provide youths with these things, they wreck 'em.
Be honest, what was the last playpark you saw without broken and vandalised equipment? When did you last see a skatepark not trashed and strewn with broken bottles and graffitti? Which was the last football field you saw where you would feel safe on an evening?
In one area of Leeds, the social services organised Go Kart racing days and trips to Alton Towers one summer holiday. All you had to do was turn up at the meeting point with 2 and they would take you, get you in and give you lunch. It was abandoned due to a lack of take up, while at the same time police reported the usual increase in youth crime that always comes with the summer holidays.
No, the answer is they have too much. Our generation had much less and though we were no angels, we certainly did not cause the problems that exist today.

Hmm, it's all down to discipline and respect I'm afraid. Unfortunately the 'do-gooders' who think they know everything want us to respect the youth of today; if we don't WE will be disciplined. It is not the fault of the local thug when he/she beats up your granny because she won't hand over her last coin to help him/her buy heroin; he/she had a 'disturbed' childhood so we should let him/her off and help him/her by giving him/her endless benefits plus a home where he/she can get together with his/her dubious mates to plan the next football etc riot. Next time I see a gang of misunderstood, deprived youths kicking the sh*t out of a misguided member of public who dared to remonstrate with them for tipping a disabled person out of their wheelchair for fun, I will congratulate them on their innovative way of making entertainment for themselves. I mean, who could criticise them for that? I wish I had thought of entertainment like that when I was young, much better than the games of football, cricket, tennis and loads of other things which I used to do!: those things are still available in most places and lots of today's youth take part, it's the minority shite that cause trouble and God help anyone who lifts a finger to try to stop it. Shove the do-gooders into the Gladiator stadium along with half our politicians and all the Euro bureaucrats, let loose the lions and then ask today's minority shite 'yoof' if they'd like to take their aggression out on the lions after they have finished, that's what I suggest.

I blame Janet Street-Porter. If it weren't for her there would be no such thing as 'yoof'.

According to The Sunday Telegraph, Muslim men who have married more than 1 women can now, as long as the marriages took place in a legal Muslim ceremony IE not in the UK, claim all available benefit entitlements for all their wives. This was not announced by this government due to a possible backlash.
I wonder how long it will be before a Muslim takes this government to a court claiming that to restrict them to only take 1 wife in this country contravenes their human rights.
No wonder more and more of us are feeling like second class citizens in our own country.
I suppose we can at least be grateful that Derek Conway is not a Muslim.

My first thought is to wonder about the truth of the report, or whether it is trying to stir up a backlash against the Muslim community. Much like this particular newspaper does about silly Euro rules.
My second thought was to wonder about the reasons for it if it were true.
When I read something like this, or the report about phrases the police should not use when interogating Muslim suspects in case they are offended, I wonder if there is some kind of hidden agenda going on to ensure all the rest of our population is turned against the Muslims.
Surely no-one could possibly consider this right and appropriate, and in a country where polygamy is an offence, the benefit / tax system cannot be seen to support it. So what is the real reason this is leaked, if indeed it is true and not the brainchild of a bored journalist?

Morning,

Like you I tend to take such articles with a pinch of salt, but dates figures were given which lead me to beleive the details. Also little suprises me any more.

To read the article see http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/main.jhtml;jsessionid=GZMONCR3P2BIBQFIQMGCFF4AVCBQUIV0?xml=/news/2008/02/03/nbenefit103.xml

'The outcome will chiefly benefit Muslim men with more than one wife, as is permitted under Islamic law.'

So, now we're adopting Muslim law? Going back to the previous subject of badly behaved 'yoof', how would Muslim law deal with them? I can imagine in a more radical way than we do if that below is anything to go by, so maybe we should bring in a few other 'Muslim laws'.

http://news.monstersandcritics.com/middleeast/news/article_1371270.php/Saudi_Arabia_chops_off_hand_of_Egyptian_for_theft

Thanks for that, Greek.
One part of me hopes this ridiculous ruling becomes common knowledge so that the architects may be hung from a lamp-post a la Mussolinni, but another part of me hopes it remains very quiet, lest Dewsbury becomes a town of 4 women to every man.
You are a Yorkshireman, you'll know what I mean about Dewsbury.

Ah, but I was born in Nottingham and lived there until I was 29. Nottingham was always known for a city with a far higher ratio of females to males. No one every found out why. Mind you Yorkshire sheep are far more attractive than those found in Nottinghamshire. They are faster too, or could it be that age has slowed me down a bit. Fast women, fast sheep, they both have their own unique problems.

Women Are Like Sheep.

If youve ever had the not-at-all-pleasant pleasure of herding sheep, youll know why its such an evocative metaphor. Sheep are about the dumbest animals on the planet and would wander straight into a coyotes mouth if they arent herded. However, once you set them on the proper course, they generally follow itrebel sheep who dont go with the herd are pretty rare. Its becoming clear to me that the Biblical metaphor that mens relationship to women is the like gods relationship to his people, and gods relationship to people is like the sheepherder to the sheep is the primary metaphor that explains how conservatives square away all this restrictive reproductive rights legislation with their bullshit about smaller government. The government has no business interferring with the world of men, the world of business, etc. But certainly theres no reason to think the government shouldnt be pointing women, who are sheep after all, in the right direction.

Digging a big hole now.