Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

I asked that and was told I was too ugly to find more than one woman.

Jimmy B,

Yes, no problem. Just change your religion to Muslim/Islam go to a Muslim country and marry several women. Although the rules have changed somewhat it appears that there are still several loop holes allowing this.

"Islamic law permits men to have up to 4 wives at any one time - known as a harem - provided the husband spends equal amounts of time and money on each of them" ................ so, I would get whatever allowance I could get my hands on for the first, then 33.65 each for the extra 3; I would only have to stay with each of them for 1 minute a day and spend 50p on each, then I would be able to spend the rest of the day in the pub with Trev and have 99.45 left to buy a few rounds in. Fantastic, bring it on!

mmm,, money i forgot about that one.

As a kid I always dreamed that when I grew up, I would work in a harem. What a great job (I thought) look at all the freebies that you could possibly get away with. Chief tester for the harem owner, best job in the world. Then I found out what the application medical was like. It puts the old medical saying, 'Cough' into perspective.

50p on each. Bloody hell no wonder your so popular with women.

My generosity knows no bounds Greek!

Bounds makes me think of bondage. Ok won't go there.

How does that tie up with this silly law, greek??

What galls me about all this is that if I were to set up a pressure group to press for these kinds of laws and rules allowing muslim men to follow their religious traditions in this country and offer legal advice and help on getting 4 wives here, flying first class HMRC, I would be awash with grants. The National Lottery, The Home Office, the foreign office, the ministry for racial affairs, all the bloody lot would fall over themselves to support me and give me money.
If however, Trevor and I, and a few of the likeminded who speak out on this august platform, set up a group to push for all citizens to obey the law, and for laws to be kept for the majority, for our moral values to be of higher importance than foreign religions and for the requirements of the indigenous population to be ranked higher than the desires of recent imigrants, what would happen then?
I would be denounced as a white supremecist, intolerant, charged with inciting racial hatred and derided as a nazi in the press.
I struggle to spot the difference. A few overly zealous Muslims are islamic supremecist, intolerant of their hosts views and morals, certainly incite racial hatred among non muslims towards muslims and are as far right as Hermann Goering. Yet they benefit from all kinds of legal protection.
As a kid we all thought George Orwells 1984 was a taste of the future. We were wrong. It was Lewis Carrolls Alice in Wonderland that was closer to the truth.

why on earth would anyone want more than one wife ? the amount of nagging one woman can do is truly incredible so why quadruple it ?

and worse still 4 wives ... 4 mother-in laws!!!

The thing is how does Abdul go about claiming?
Is he even going to tell the truth?
I mean - he goes down the dole and says do you need to meet the wife before I can cop for the dosh and they say yes, so he says, well the thing is they don't get on that well so I'll have to bring 'em in one at a time, OK with you?
And the dole says fine so he goes and gets number one, who's wearing a beige burka and signs, then he buggers off and gets number two who's wearing a blue burka and she signs ... is the dole going to ask to clock the boat just to check it's a different wife?
Or even if it's actually a woman?

I was thinking of buying my wife 4 burkas and starting a new business 'Rent a wife' to save the Muslim guys the hassle of getting a wife of their own, and claiming benefits the way you suggest Chocolat. Trouble is, you may now have alerted the authorities to a possible scam: mind you, by the time it's been passed around the various departments to decide who should deal with it, I should have a good 12 months head start. (Burkad head start at that)

Are there any MPs using this scam yet? Or their wives and families, either? Or ancient mothers? Or family trusts? Hmmm? Probably not family trusts but female elderly mothers could have sex change operations paid for by the state under certain circumstances, eg, after the Christmas cards have been done. Hmmm? Probably not Christmas cards but let's say Ramedan cards instead. Or maybe even birthday cards.

Execline,

That's why I mentioned Derek Conway in my post....."I suppose we can at least be grateful that Derek Conway is not a Muslim".
And you could also say that it puts (Derek Conway) child benefit in a new light.

A Little Humour.

Two southerners - both businessmen in London - were sitting down for a break in their new soon-to-be-opened store.

But as yet, the store wasn't ready, having only a few empty shelves set up.

One said to the other, "I bet any minute now some thick tourist is going to walk by, put his face to the window and ask what we're selling."

No sooner were the words out of his mouth when, sure enough, a curious Yorkshireman walked to the window, had a peek, and in a broad Yorkshire accent asked "What's tha sellin' ere then?"

One of the men replied sarcastically, "We're selling arse-holes."

Without skipping a beat, the Yorkshireman said, "Tha's doing well then...Only two left!"

This is going back to a former topic (Mr Wetherspoon and badly behaved kids) but has/would anyone tried/try what David Cameron is advocating today?
http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/education/article3308629.ece

I'm all in favour Oblo; trouble is, if I intervene I am quite likely to be tempted to beat the crap out of one of the little sh*ts if they try to intimidate me - then who would be in trouble?

What about this Ripon thing then, cancelling the pancake race because someone may fall over? Bunch of tossers!

Any politician who talks about involvement with other peoples kids is talking crap.
A politician has not been this wrong since one stood on an aeroplane steps and waved a bit of paper around.
Fact. Once they are able to talk, the kids from the type of families that cause these problems would tell you to F*** off.
Fact. Children are taught from an early age in school that if people say or do things they don't like, they must ring Childline.
Fact. Government after government has laid down more and more draconian child protection laws to the point where approaching within 10 feet of any child is tantamount to criminality. Even my beloved cricket team has had to abandon its youth policy because we cannot afford seperate changing facilities for mixed age teams.
Fact. The kids know all this. At my eldest daughters school, when a mobile goes off in class, or something goes missing, standard policy was to do a "bag/locker search". This is being rethought after a 12 year old challanged it as an invasion of privacy and against there human rights.
If a politicain really wants to improve things, start punishing the little darlings with the full force and majesty of the law.
Rant over.

Amongst all this political stuff and putting of the world to rights, don't let's forget it's Pancake Day today and also Valentine's Day quite soon.

PS. There are some who say pancakes are bad for you.

Pancakes bad for you? Only in Ripon ExecLine, and only if you fall over!