Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

MrCharts

its the unclarity of it all that confuses the liberal in us.

Dear prim minista,
i went to school today cos knuckles McQueen in the fifth form was gonna kick his form tutors ed in, and I wanted to video it on my fone. I aint bin in yonks, but i sat in this lesson called economics and it was all about setting up a business, an i wanna set up a business in nicked identitys cos my mate did it an made loads of money an if you get caught like he did you only get told to dig a few gardens.
Anyway, my teacher said you needed something called seed capital to start a bisness (is that for when you get caught and have to go gardening).
Anyway, my dad says you are going to give him some money if he looks for a job, so i looked it up on my interweb on that MSN site and this bloke says that you gonna give money for lots of things, so can i have some please.
I'm gonna start going to school, well sometimes, and he says I'll get more if i stop drinking and smoking. Is that like all smoking cos i can do without the fags but i like a bit of crack now and then. An i'm gonna lose a bit of weight as well, so i should get a couple of quid for that. My dad says can he have his money back what he lost on the lottery cos if its the bookies fault that guys skint from betting, its your fault hes not won a million on the scratchcards.
Anyway if you can send me the money i can buy loads of nicked bank cards from these illegal immigrants what live near us. My dad says im writing to the rong bloke cos he says you look after all the big mistakes and you have another bloke to look after the cash, called darling (is he a poof? with a name like that he'd get his nose broke at our school).
I promise to stop getting pissed on our estate every night if you send me a couple of hundred quid cos that'll get me 50 bank cards and i can flog em on an buy my dad a new telly from our neybour what broke into the sony shop the other week.
thanks,
Dwain Skuffle
Aged 12 3/4

Dwain,
You should ashamed of yourself. At your age you should be into international drug dealing, arms trafficking or most lucrative of all, politics.
To still be messing around with bank cards suggest you have no future at all.

What is interesting about the reaction to Rowan's (everybody is on first name terms these days - regardless of not knowing one another) nonsense is everyone saying how clever he is.
Is this because they are merely parroting what others have said or because in this politically correct environment we all think that religion deserves respect?
Using clumsy language without thinking through the consequences, however finally nuanced those inappropriate words may be, suggests a degree of stupidity, blindness and unreality appropriate to someone who only sees part of the picture and is obsessed with their own imaginings - a man of religion perhaps.
Richard

So the government fancies the idea of introducing smoking licences?
A quick fag packet calculation estimates this will save the NHS about 4.50 a year in treating smoking related diseases. Of course it will save about 20million, or some other ridiculous figure, but it will cost about 19.999995 million in extra hip replacements and senile dementia treatments for a population that refuses to do the decent thing and die at about age 70.
This 4.50 saving will only cost the collapse of the welfare state as the country becomes unable to fund the extra pension payments, the end of our tourist trade as smokers from the rest of the world choose somewhere more liberal (such as China) and hand over the cross channel booze cruise trade to Russian mafia bosses, but it is such a small price to pay in these days of political correctness to save that 4.50.
I now propose a stupidity license along the same lines that might save us even more. After all, most MP's would be incapable of filling the forms in correctly so they would be unable to speak. Don't believe me? Check their expenses claims and income tax returns.

On the subject of smoking, a few random thoughts on the health warnings.
Any advice my business gives or advertises must be backed up, by government decree, by evidence and proof of the claims. The small print is never ending. Why not on fag packets?
"Smoking can seriously harm you and others around you". So can strapping 20lbs of semtex to your waist and running into a marketplace, but I never saw the warning on belts and waistcoats at Marks and Spencer. And not smoking can harm others even more. When I cannot have a fag (on a flight for instance) I have an uncontrolable urge to choke the living shit out of anyone who talks to me.
"Smokers die younger". Younger than what? Would this apply if I didn't start smoking till I was 87?
"Smoking can cause a slow and painful death". So can repeatedly running headfirst into a wall. So can being born for that matter. From the moment we are thrust into this world we are merely putting off the inevitable. And whats wrong with a slow death? I'll volunteer for one right now as long as its very slow. About 80 years should be okay.
"Smoking while pregnant can harm your unborn baby". The reverse is undoubtedly true. All genitals should be stamped with the warning that getting pregnant can harm your smoking habits.
No. Its about time the government practised as it preaches and put a caveat on all these warnings;
"Smokers die younger".*
*This claim is based on an internet poll on youdead.com. It applies only to people aged under 68 and living in places with good diets and little stress, cos if you eat Mcdonalds all day and don't exercise, you're knackered anyway. The figure for comparison is 68.2% ADR (Annual Death Rate) and your lungs may be at risk if you do not keep up breathing.
Thats better.

Anyone have any sympathy for the Hedge Funds that are bleating on about the Nationalization of Northern Rock. In spite of being informed (and well aware before hand) that if the company was nationalized, the shares could be almost of no value, they bought massive tranches obviously hoping for massive profits. Now with massive losses looming they have stated their intentions to look to legal redress. Whilst I agree that those with loans, mortgages with Northern Rock and those with savings should be protected, because if they were not the whole trust in the banking system (what there is of it) would diminish even more, I have little sympathy for investors in the company itself. After all, any shareholder in any company takes risks either way. You pays your money as they say.
As to the decision to nationalize, my own opinion is that it's the correct decision,(with the guarantees it was nationalized in all but name) as at least if profit after losses covered materialize us the tax payers will benefit whereas if the alternative decision and been made we would have had a heads (private entity wins) tax payer breaks even, tails (private entity still wins via government guarantees) tax payer looses.
I only hope the government allow those chosen to run Northern Rock to get on with the job and keep their incompetent noses out.

In this society people in positions of power, influence and control get away scot-free whatever they do, however they mess up.
Remember Norman Lamont? Fixed parity range nonsense. Now treated as a guru on financial matters.
Applegarth of Northern Wreck? Had to be forced out. Lent long, borrowed short in the wholesale markets.
Another "expert" coming to a screen in your living room soon, no doubt.
Rowan (Sharia, sharia, I've just met a pearl called sharia) Williams. Poisons Moslem/Christian relations. Still in position.
Coming to a shopping mall near you:
http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/middle_east/7260314.stm

I don't think you will have seen a lecture like this ever before.

Hans Rosling: "Watch the end of poverty"

Corruption in the EU.

According to The Daily Telegraph, a report has been completed into corruption in the EU. The report has been so damaging that only MEP's and a select band of other officials are allowed to read it. It must be read in a sealed room where no notes are allowed or any other form of record can be taken. A form of confidentiality also has to be completed and signed. When the newspaper approached officials re this document being secret, they replied that it is not secret, it's confidential. They went on to explain that if a document is secret, no one would be allowed to see it, whereas if a document is confidential only certain persons can see it, (true). Obviously it is not for the likes of those who pay vast amounts of money into this corruption machine, IE us, to have the knowledge of it's contents. No wonder the EU accounts have not been signed off for the last 10 years. At least Robert Mugabe is only screwing his own country.
Thank goodness we are still ruled mainly from this country where our own politicians can be trusted in the knowledge that they are honorable, honest and generally incorruptible.
And before anyone tries to persuade me otherwise, I still believe in the tooth fairy, Santa Claus, and little green men.

A couple of interesting indicators from my area of expertise (?), for anyone interested.
The lender who has tried to plug the gap by using Swiss money has announced that their lending criteria is to be made more robust.
Secondly, there are virtually no lenders prepared to consider 100% lending at the moment. There are a couple of minor ones who will do so for professionals only, but other than that its down to C&G on the high street.
Even those who are part of a group of lenders and whose specalist area is designated as the 100% arena (such as Birmingham Midshires of the HBOS group) have withdrawn their 100% offerings.
This seems to me to mean that the sector is no longer confident of property values remaining stable. It is not the banks, it is the mortgage indemnity insurers who have decreed the risk to be too high to take on their books. Indeed we are seeing the higher lending charge applied at lower and lower loan to values recently. 12 months ago, a LTV of 85% was rarely charged such a fee. Now 75% is common.
No matter what they say in public, this points to them predicting a worst case scenario of values falling by as much as 15% over the next couple of years. Prices sold only indicate the history. The underwriting criteria indicate the potential future and it doesn't look too rosy.
it may not come to pass. Bankers and insurers get it wrong, but they are planning for it.
Alan

Alan,

Spot on. A very rocky ride for the next 12 months at least. It's a sign of lacking confidence in the countries finances and peoples spending power.

'This seems to me to mean that the sector is no longer confident of property values remaining stable. '

Presumably, we can expect to see property values rise then, Alan, for when did the financial sector ever get anything right?

Prices are still rising in parts of London - always a strong indicator.

Flat for a year or two maybe, then they'll begin to rise again. I've seen it all before, even when interest rates were 15% and higher (early 80's) property prices rose against all predictions of doom and gloom!

TBH Greek & Oblo,
you may as well stcik a pin in the chart as try and make a prediction at the moment. The banks and lenders are hiding away at the moment, but what is left are certainly battening down the hatches.
The product that was available 12 months ago is a distant memory. 125% loans - gone, 100% secured loans for self cert - gone, unlimited adverse above 70% - gone.
This is not due to thinking people will be unable to repay it, these lenders don't give a damn, it is the thought that they cannot get their money back when it does go unpaid, coupled with an uneasy feeling that the FSA will blame them for wreckless lending and make the courts refuse to assist in delinquincy cases.
Fears are growing in the market that for the sake of popularity, the treasury and FSA between them will concoct new rules to make it very difficult for niche lenders to recover their debts, making up some cock and bull crap about the lenders knowing what they were getting into.
That, combined with stagnent (at best) property values is a double whammy the industry cannot live with and so they are preparing for it to happen.
My belief is that the FSA and treasury need to make it clear that they will not do this. While the industry believes it might, they will restrict lending and that will cause the property squeeze. If prices do drop, it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy.

Watch out for your credit limit being slashed without too much warning - and its consequences!

Alan, Oblomov.

I truly believe that banks care deeply about their customers, and not just the huge profits they make. Just as Supermarkets are only going greener because they are passionate about the environment, and not because they fear loosing customers (money) to a competitor that goes greener first.
Drug companies who also often receive a bad press are surely not in it for the sqillions of pounds they make in profits, but for reasons of compassion to fellow man/woman and those not sure (must be politically correct).
Some people also believe that our MP's are just in it for salary and all the perks (legal and otherwise) whereas I believe they do the job for the pure satisfaction of helping there fellow citizens toward a better life.

I could go on, but someone has to stand up for these often maligned institutions.

Greek, I'm sure there are individuals in the industries you mention who do care - such a the scientist trying to find cancer cures, etc - but the industries surely have to be led by dispassionate managment motivated by the figures if these enourmous entities are to survive and, in the case of the drug companies, finance research. A cancer cure is surely worth any price.

Alan, I think what you're saying is that lenders are being much more careful who they lend to - thats a good thing and will bring back confidence and sustained growth to the housing market. Its happened before - the 'slump' in the 80's came after lending rules relaxed - the recovery followed a hardening of lending rules. The current signs from lenders are good rather than bad, for the medium to long term property values - though that may not be seen as good by some people!

OB,

Fully agree re your comment on individuals.

Greek - your tongue in cheek remarks would no doubt be welcomed by the banks' directors, surrounded by acolytes who tell them what they want to hear. I have no doubt they believe they care about their customers, but if you talk to bank staff at the street level, certainly the ones I have spoken to over the last few months, there is an enormous gulf between what the directors believe is happening and the reality. Staff have been under great pressure to meet sales targets and there has been a seismic change in overall culture which has left many feeling deeply unhappy. The integrity is just not in the business any more (particularly where investment banking now dominating such as BARC) and when trust begins to disappear that leaves me nervous about their future.

Agree Partridge - my wife works in a bank. Totally sales driven now at street level - not what she and many others signed up for.