Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

I wonder what the couple on the star holiday advert are looking at?

I'm going to address a touchy subject here, so I want to be clear I am not belittling or satirising (wouldn't know how) a very serious subject.

The events of yesterday in Exeter demand more thought.
Firstly I heard a copper on telly saying a man had gone into a loo, there'd been an explosion and he had come out with burnt hands and face. Fair enough. That sounds like a bomb gone wrong or an unreasonably hot curry to me. The copper then goes on to say it is being treated as "suspicious". Well thanks for that, copper. I'd never have worked it out without your incisive detection.
Now apparantly, the police are reporting it as a bloke with a bomb strapped to him that detonated while being primed. They go on to say he was mentally unstable.
Call me Mr Silly, but I would love to meet a mentally stable person who would strap explosives to himself and try to kill as many people as possible. We evidently have differing definitions of mental stability, which is perhaps why I never joined the police.
So we have a (mercifully) averted tragedy followed by a Keystone Kops farce. I hope this does not detract from a very pressing problem. I refer to the coverage of the event.
If one reads the news, the police are making it appear that islamic fundamentalists are specifically targeting those with mental illness for radicalisation. If this is true, then it is a very sorry state, and very worrying. If it is not true, then I am more worried than ever, for that would mean the police differentiating between asian islamic terrorists (as being a bunch of anti-christs) and white islamic terrorists (as being dysfunctional and misguided, preyed upon by those nasty anti-christs I just mentioned).
The law should be blind. It should not be either stupid or racist, but it appears both in Exeter. I hope I am wrong. I hope this man gets exactly the same punishment as any other terrorist, should he be found guilty, but I have a nasty feeling he will receive leniency based on his mental health. That will send out entirely the wrong message and could do more harm to race relations than electing Jim Davison as head of equality.

Serious trousers off now. Back to being silly.

From The Daily Telegraph.

How about this for back to being silly (no not me but The Department for Transport).
A government spending watchdog has disclosed that an efficiency drive by The DFT designed to save 122,000,000 has been found to actually save 57,000,000.
This efficiency (sic) drive cost 81,000,000, due to an unstable IT system that they did not have time to test thoroughly.
So instead of a saving the net loss is 24,000,000.
However the Audit Office has forecast the cost could be as high as 120,000,000, with a total saving of just 40,000,000, so an even greater net loss of 80,000,000.
End of extract.......

I just hope they don't try to save any more money. The country just can't afford it.
No doubt the DFT bosses will be rewarded for this failure by huge bonuses.
Now I know what department Jim Hacker (yes minister) ended up leading.
You just couldn't, it make it up.

Fancying a punt by buying a few shares in this new newspaper that I keep reading about. Can't wait for it to go national instead of Nottingham and places.
I am talking of course of the Daily Llama. I have loads of friends who are very into sheep so I think Llamas may do well as well.
The paper boy looks a bit dodgy though in the long orange nighty. Still, it will make a change to read about Llamas instead of religion and human rights in China and stuff.

Up here in Yorkshire, we often think/dream about sheep. But Llama's, No! their too tall and much to fast to catch, or so I'm told. So they make shearing difficult, (what did you think I was talking about).
On hol's on Tues for 3 weeks. Will miss these sensible, deep, educational discussions.

They've flipped. They really have finally flipped.
There are 2 people left in the UK who do not know that smoking is bad for you. One hasn't moved from his padded cell for 16 years and the other one is Trevor.
Our glorious leaders have decided that rather than spend money in silly ways, like preventing people blowing themselves up, or making the economy worth more than 3.50, or stopping youths turning each other into a chalk outline on a pavement or helping to stop the world dissolving in a methane / co2 stew, or educating kids or any of the other things we would quite like them to do, they will spend a central American countrys national debt telling Trevor and his mate in the asylum that smoking perhaps is not very wise.
I am a smoker. I know it is not very good for me. Neither is a burger. Or 14 pints on a Friday night. Or a kebab afterwards.
So what is the point in the new three point plan to stop Trevor and the other one smoking?
1) No vending machines. The law was changed 17 years ago to prohibit the siting of a machine where purchases were not supervised. No need to remove it altogether to stop kids buying.
2) No displaying of cigarettes in shops. Ridiculous. Even with them on display and me pointing at what I want over the counter the average assistant (IQ somewhere between a cuttlefish and a linedancer) cannot get it right. Hiding them means employing something approaching humanity and that increases costs.
3) No 10 packs. Get real you bunch of dozy d**kheads. A smoker having to choose between no cigs but dinner money for the kids and a 20 pack and hungry kids will decide the kids need a diet.
Next up; All processed food behind locked cabinets and buying beer being seen as akin to wandering into your local blockbuster and asking for videos of children.
Oh and by the way. When we all live to be 106, the pensions have run out and taxes are running at 98%, you'll know the government won its fight against the last 2 smokers.

My last post before hols (just like Custer's last stand, pre Viagra of course).
Following the funeral of a young boy who drowned in some flooded gravel pits a few weeks ago, yet another useless, money wasted survey was carried out. It was announced this am on BBC news that this survey found that more persons drown or have life threatening accidents in such locations during the summer months than the winter months. I would never have guessed.
And presumably more people drown in areas where there is more water than drown in areas where there is very little. But that's just silly.

Oh my prophetic soul!!!!!
Yesterday I moaned the government were tackling smoking issues rather than slightly more serious issues. One I highlighted was youths killing each other.
Today, the bad news is that several have done just that.
The good news is that none of them were smoking at the time. Or going too fast. Or dropping litter, so presumably Gordon can argue that his policies are vindicated.
I really am in despair. I love my country. I am a passionate patriot and saluter of the union flag. I just feel I cannot live here any more.
If I thought, just for one moment I could live somewhere that is free of this crap, and still have my kids well educated in their native tongue, I would be on the next plane. I really would. I will always be proud to be British. Proud of our history, heritage and humour. Proud of our standing as a world leading moderate nation of integrity, ingenuity, honesty and self reliant strength (politicians excepted). But now I feel ashamed. Ashamed of a society that can be led by people who think rearranging the deckchairs on Titanic was a prudent policy move.
We are sinking guys!! We need strong leadership and an end to stupid big brother policies. We need someone to cut through the crap, tell everyone a few home truths and damn those that want to live outside the law and societys values.
I live in fear. Not of idiots on the streets or rucksacks with a ticking noise, but of making the wrong choice for my kids. Is education that important when compared to living in a more reasonable and just society? I want both for them but fear I cannot.

the police said it is being treated as "suspicious". it may not have been a bomb just a cleaner mixing bleach with some other toilet cleaner.

These being the police who arrived at the scene of an explosion, to find a burned and lacerated man, in possession of a rucksack packed with explosives and nails, and known by them to be both mentally unstable, a convert to a fanatical branch of a religion who are trying to wipe everyone else out and in constant touch with known terrorist cells. All these facts were known when police called it suspicious.
Yes it could have been a bleach based instance or a solvent abuser getting it wrong.
In much the same way as the bloke with the mask, stripy jumper and crowbar climbing in your bedroom window at 3am COULD be an innocent fancy dress party goer getting a little lost and asking for directions.
First impressions can be so unfair.

Alan,

Re your post 'Oh my prophetic soul'.
I couldn't agree more. The only thing keeping me here, even in todays shrinking world re travel, we wish to be reasonably close to our family and see them regularly. If they would all emigrate with us, we would be off like a shot. England, English, almost unrecognizable.
Right that definitely is it for 3 weeks. Motorhome packed and we are off.
Best to all. Keep it going.
Greek.

The only thing that keeps me in the UK is that its the best place in the world to travel from - preferably for as long and as far as you can afford!

Alan, 'If I thought, just for one moment I could live somewhere that is free of this crap, and still have my kids well educated in their native tongue, I would be on the next plane.'

Try Australia or New Zealand - in many ways like the UK was 50 years ago.I'd go tomorrow if it wasn't for my wife - she'd want to come with me!

P.S. Any Ella Fitzgerald fans here?

Oblo,
Unfortunately my experience and qualifications are not "in demand" in these places (or anywhere else for that matter).
I was thinking a little more rural EU cos when it asks about education for the points system anywhere else, I can only put the University of Life and the School of Hard Knocks (with a post graduate degree in what some bloke in the pub told me and a doctorate in "it stands to reason").
Anyway. If anyone has any good ideas on fiddling the sytem for NZ or Canada, or how I can ensure good education for my kids in the EU, I would be delighted to know more!!

Glad to say mine are off hand as far as support is concerned, although still living at home. Can only hope things have improved by the time any Grandchildren are at education age. Certainly wouldn't advise them against emigrating if opportunity arises in the future. You never know, they may even drag poor old Mum & Dad with them. Mind you they do say that when all looks lost and everyone starts to capitulate that is the time when things begin to turn for the best. Perhaps we have just not noticed. Any good contrarians about ?

were you all asleep when the Crewe result was announced , of course things are on the turn

There you are Alan - move to Crewe!


The poor man's Australia!

Imagine the scene;
There you are, laid on your bed, worries of work and bills far away back at home. You are idly reading the morning paper as you put your dirty washing in to the bag for the laundry service. You have been down to have breakfast and now you are wondering what to do with your time today.
Go for a stroll for an hour? Nip down to the games room and play a little table tennis, or pool? Go to the well equipped gymnasium and start that get fit regime you had been thinking of? Or just laze around and read a good book, perhaps watch a DVD later?
Then in comes a member of staff and tells you that your time here has been cut short due to unforseen circumstances. The organisation that has supplied your tansportation and accomodation has run out of money and you will be sent home early.
I don't know about you lot, but I would be on the phone to ABTA or ATOL pretty damn quick and demanding some compensation.
So spare a thought this morning for those unlucky souls who are suffering this due to overbooking at the Hotel HMP, and cannot claim through ABTA because their operator, HM Prison Service is not ABTA bonded.
They have to leave a carefree life of no cooking or bills, and free 24 hour entertainment just because they forgot to stove someones head in when they stole from his house. A terrible sign of an economy in crisis when we cannot afford to keep these people in the style they are accustomed to.

I agree wholeheartedly.

One reason the prisons are so full, is that the sentence is too short and is not really a deterrent. Another is that life inside prison is so damn cushy.

Perhaps some ABTA bondage would solve that. I'm not sure really. Is it S and M?

Probably not, eh? More like M & S at present, I reckon. "This is not just prison. It's M & S prison."

Much to my shame, I have a friend in Pentonville Prison.
On the odd occassion I get to speak to him, he regularly bemoans the quality of his life there. He complains about a lack of discipline that makes him fear for his life in the social areas and when out on the landing, and that all the career cons just take the pi55 out of prison staff, knowing the board of visitors will side with them.
He hates it in there and has promised me he will never go back. It frightens him, the way prisoners talk openly about their crimes and what they intend to do when they get out.
I am trying to help him. I have recently been searching for another job for him as life as a prison officer does not suit him. He cannot stand anymore to see how much better off many of the prisoners are over his existence.
The above is actually true!!

I've just recently bought a holiday flat in Cornwall and it's a different life down there---sun sea and sand! only problem is the mortgage!! if anyone wants a great holiday at Fistral beach it's available at beach retreats.co .uk no prisoners need apply!!