CLOSED - THANKS to all customers for the last few years

Morning all!

Hope the ceiling/wotsit/leak looking better today, bunny! One day off and they have you in a pie here ....... lambykins had better watch out!

Quick coffee for me, then I shall be back in later.

Hi JJ!!!!
:>)

Well I'm ok with it, not a perfect speciman of a ceiling but safe and clean,
mind you the feeling is not shared with everyone so I doubt this will be the
end of the ceiling saga...

Danish JJ?

Going to grab some lunch and hope the afternoon carries on positively.
Ears crossed...

Especially for Jules.. ;)

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form & then pilots review the gripe sheets before the next flight.


Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas' pilots (marked with a P) and the solutions recorded (marked with an S) by maintenance engineers.


By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident.

P: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
S: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

P: Something loose in cockpit.
S: Something tightened in cockpit.

P: Dead bugs on windshield.
S: Live bugs on back-order.

P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute
descent.
S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
S: Evidence removed.

P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
S: DME volume set to more believable level.

P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
S: That's what they're for.

P: IFF inoperative.
S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

P: Suspected crack in windshield.
S: Suspect you're right.

P: Number 3 engine missing.
S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

P: Aircraft handles funny.
S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

P: Target radar hums.
S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.

P: Mouse in cockpit.
S: Cat installed.

P: Noise coming from under instrument panel. Sounds like a midget
pounding on something with a hammer.
S: Took hammer away from midget

Great love it! :>)

I'm here at long last. Finally managed to extricate myself from the bath. Thunder and lightning down here in Cheltenham, flash, bang, wallop.

Rarely look into this coffee house. Very, very funny, chocolat :-)))))))))))))))))))))

evening all. Quick swing in the hammock and a southern comfort then its a DVD for me seeing as my freeview box has just died !

by the way it isnt true that qantas has never had an accident although it was sort of true for a long while and I am sure qantas would like us to believe that it still is.

Maggott good to see you in the coffee house..

I did wonder about that bit Spacie - but as you can see I just cee'npeed it.
After all, there's no u in humor and the tire didn't look right ;)

Glad to brighten your day Maggot :)

Can't believe I'm going somewhere wetter then here tomorrow :S

what wet place you going to Chocky? its not thialand time already is it?

Qantas are a very safe airline but they have a smaller number of take offs and landings than most others as they fly some very long routes and that makes their stas seem better than other safe airlines, as far as I know they have not had a fatality for many years however they lost a 747/400 in Bangkok in about 1999 but that was their first accident for many years.

Morning Folks - rise and shine!!
:>)

According to http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Qantas#Incidents_and_accidents Qantas have never had a fatality with a jet aircraft.

There were no fatalities or serious injuries in the Bangkok incident, and the aircraft was repaired.

Piptrader, i havnt checked but that sounds right, but the claim was they have not had an accient and that isnt true and in fact wasnt true before. They are very very safe but their profile is safer than a lot of airlines and they are not very big.

Ahh the Quantas debating society is in full swing I see
It's an educational experience working in here....
;>)

How about bringing the Australian cricket team to England this summer? Does that count?

Stockbunny, just trying to stop all the talk of eating bunnies and lambs ;-)

LOL Spacie..I'm not complaining, just don't you guys get onto quantum
physics or anything too mind blowing though or I'll be lost forever in
hypothesis or whatever thesis'es they are
;>)

Quick cup of tea - good heavens it's quiet in here
everyone emigrated?

No, still here

Nice to know JeffMack, nice to know
:>)