Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Hmm, no it wasn't worth repeating really was it?! Got a twitchy finger this evening, I wonder what else I can do with it?

I know a male Non in West Wales, not sure if it's short for anything.

I have a non-male wife but that could be confusing matters more?! Male Non could be short for Goronwy, though that would usually just be Gron, or it could be just a nickname. Best to address your letter "To whom it may concern" T.O.K.!

The 'old' Welsh translation of Non, by the way, is Stream or Current.

Iechyd da.

Could be Non de Plume, then its only a pen name so it doesn't matter.
And if one gets it wrong is it a non sequiter????
Perhaps its a sheep.
Or in the great Welsh traditions of Jones the Steam for railway drivers and Jones the shop for grocers it might be a teacher called non the wiser.
If there were a family of them could it be non plussed?
Or just like many shorten my name to Al, it could really be no-one.
Confusing, innit?

Non, mais ouis.

Thanks for the help guys. I cowardly circled the problem with the salutation "Dear Non XYZ"

Smart move T.O.K.!

How bored am I??????
I don't think I can stand another 6 weeks of not being allowed to work. Its driving me bloody nuts!!!
Might start a new thread on here for mortgage related issues, just for something to do. You know, technical questions, market forecasts, market news, current best deals etc.etc.
Just for something to do!!! I am so bored. any thoughts on how I can occupy my time??

Alan, I'll swap with you.

Errrm, isn't that sort of work related Alan and therefore against the rules laid down by those who know how you should be looking after yourself? How about a health thread where we can all have a good moan about our various ailments? Your episode would make a very good start to it!

Well I'm back after 3 weeks away from the madness of the markets. I needed the holiday as for a while I thought I was cracking up under the stain.
Whilst on hols (in Ireland) after several pints of Guinness I received therapy from a friendly little leprechaun I met sitting in the kerb just outside a pub. He told me I was completely normal and the world was a good place, so I'm back sane and ready for more of the same turmoil.

Note to Alan.
If you like I can give you the little green chaps number. He did say he once counseled a bloke called Trev. Just wondering if it could be, well you never know.

Welcome back Greek. What you need is a good washing powder.........."I needed the holiday as for a while I thought I was cracking up under the stain.".........."the stain"? I hope it was the best quality red that did it! ;o)

Alan, relax this weekend. Patience makes a good patient. Or so I've been told. Not that I know Patience, she doesn't sound smutty enough for me!

Another 'NON'. See if you can fathom out what it means:

Non illigitimi carborundum

The Tanker Driver's Strike

As a reminder, the strike over pay started at 06:00am on Friday 13th June and continues until 06:00am Tuesday 17th June. Here's the Current Situation:

From http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/....

Tanker drivers' strike: the affect region by region
By Stephen Adams
Last Updated: 7:14PM BST 15/06/2008

The tankers drivers strike is impacting differently around the country, with motorists facing a variety of problems.

SOUTH EAST

Many Shell garages already out of diesel yesterday and likely to run out completely today. Garages in north London badly affected, with almost all in Hampstead, Highgate, Finchley and Brent Cross out of at least one type of fuel. However, fuel companies said the south east had not been as severely affected as other areas.

SOUTH WEST

Devon and Cornwall have probably been the worst affected areas nationally, due to their distance from oil terminals, high proportion of people reliant on cars and holiday drivers.

Filling stations in Exeter, Plymouth and elsewhere have run dry, with long queues and waits of up to an hour for fuel. In Christchurch Dorset, a Texaco garage reported it had sold 13,000 litres - double the normal amount.

WALES

Bad shortages in rural areas, where most people rely solely on their vehicles for transport. Fuel rationing also in place. Jason Evans, from EC Ashton & Sons in Welshpool, Mid Wales, said: "The 20 limit was introduced so nobody can go crazy and spend loads. Before it we had people buying 80 to 100 on fuel by filling up jerry cans."

NORTH WEST ENGLAND

Picketing has continued at Stanlow refinery in Cheshire, where tanker drivers from other companies have turned away in support of Shell drivers. Garages have run out in Leeds, St Annes and elsewhere.

EAST ANGLIA

Filling stations have run out in Wisbech, Huntingdon, Fakenham and Norwich.

MIDLANDS

Stations run dry in Warwick, Birmingham, Coventry and smaller rural towns.

SCOTLAND

Central Scotland has been one of the worst affected areas. Thirty five stations in Scotland have run dry of at least one fuel type, the Scottish Government said last night. However, across Scotland only three per cent of stations have been affected, compared to eight per cent nationwide.

NORTH EAST ENGLAND

Stations in remote areas such as Corbridge in Northumberland have reported shortages.

NORTHERN IRELAND

So far unaffected, as stations are not supplied by the two firms taking strike action.

No Ba$tard squid??????

Caught up with Trev today.
As some of you may know he has appeared in print many times (usually local court reports and begging letters) but has failed to get his book ("Synonims of the word Plimsoll") published.
Today he explained to me his latest literary venture. He explained he cannot work out women and was sure he was not alone, so he was writing a book about it.
He thinks it might be metaphysical because they have differing opinions on obvious things.
"Such as"? I asked.
"Well the size of a head", says Trev. "They think they are bloody great big things and us blokes know they're not. What else explains why I pay 3.50 for my hair cutting and there's this barber in the high street that only does wimmin and they charge 70 a time"?
"I was out doing my weekly shoplifting", he explains, "and theres these birds at this counter in Boots next to where I get my athletes foot cream, and they're buying this make up stuff to put on their face and then a jar of this green stuff to clag it all up at night and then a jar of this white stuff to unblock the paws and then some clear stuff to clean the white stuff off. Its obvious innit? Don't get the make up stuff to clog up your paws in the first place and then you don't need any of the rest. Us blokes wouldn't do that."
"Then this one girl, I watched her spend 45 minutes sniffing soap to see what she liked and she said to this bloke with her she wanted to smell nice when she went out after a wash. She then spent half an hour with this saleswoman who had a face like toothache, trying perfumes and she couldn't understand that it didn't matter if the soap smelled like whale shit cos the perfume would cover it up".
"Anyway", Said Trev, " I was cogitating about this all the way to Sainsburys to steal some tomato soup and when I got there, theres these turkey crowns at 17 and wimmin are buying them when they could have a full turkey for 15 and give the bits they don't want to their dog. Or me if they haven't got one."
I was nodding sagely as Trev started drinking from my pint and looking round to see if anyone had left half a bag of salt & vinegar anywhere.
"Look, Al", he said," If I said Trousers were 20 a pair, how much should 2 pair be"?
"About 40 quid", said I picking floaters out of my pint that had dropped in from Trevs beard.
"Why"?
"Cos theres twice as much material, stitching, labour, packaging, shipping and what not".
"Yeah, so I was outside La Senza and in the window they had these proper knickers for a fiver, but these throng ones whats 3 square inch of cotton and a bit of dental floss was a tenner, and I thought they had it wrong".
"What ya do then Trev?"
"Well I went in to see what was selling and research my new book, but after an hour of me hanging around watching customers I started to ask the women about their knickers, and they said they'd call the police even if it was a book".
"What you calling the book, Trev"?
"I was thinking it was like men and women were so different they must have come from different places, so I was thinking of something like, "Men are from Rochdale, Women are from Brentford"".
"Catchy".

Old R.A.F. Don't let the b*st*rds grind you down.

Wayne and Colleen may not be legally wed! There's no chance of a 5m refund though.

The church had actually been deconsecrated and, as such, the religious ceremony has no validity in the eyes of the Roman Catholic church. More at:

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/....

Who cares!

they do, or should :-)