Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

No Ba$tard squid??????

Caught up with Trev today.
As some of you may know he has appeared in print many times (usually local court reports and begging letters) but has failed to get his book ("Synonims of the word Plimsoll") published.
Today he explained to me his latest literary venture. He explained he cannot work out women and was sure he was not alone, so he was writing a book about it.
He thinks it might be metaphysical because they have differing opinions on obvious things.
"Such as"? I asked.
"Well the size of a head", says Trev. "They think they are bloody great big things and us blokes know they're not. What else explains why I pay 3.50 for my hair cutting and there's this barber in the high street that only does wimmin and they charge 70 a time"?
"I was out doing my weekly shoplifting", he explains, "and theres these birds at this counter in Boots next to where I get my athletes foot cream, and they're buying this make up stuff to put on their face and then a jar of this green stuff to clag it all up at night and then a jar of this white stuff to unblock the paws and then some clear stuff to clean the white stuff off. Its obvious innit? Don't get the make up stuff to clog up your paws in the first place and then you don't need any of the rest. Us blokes wouldn't do that."
"Then this one girl, I watched her spend 45 minutes sniffing soap to see what she liked and she said to this bloke with her she wanted to smell nice when she went out after a wash. She then spent half an hour with this saleswoman who had a face like toothache, trying perfumes and she couldn't understand that it didn't matter if the soap smelled like whale shit cos the perfume would cover it up".
"Anyway", Said Trev, " I was cogitating about this all the way to Sainsburys to steal some tomato soup and when I got there, theres these turkey crowns at 17 and wimmin are buying them when they could have a full turkey for 15 and give the bits they don't want to their dog. Or me if they haven't got one."
I was nodding sagely as Trev started drinking from my pint and looking round to see if anyone had left half a bag of salt & vinegar anywhere.
"Look, Al", he said," If I said Trousers were 20 a pair, how much should 2 pair be"?
"About 40 quid", said I picking floaters out of my pint that had dropped in from Trevs beard.
"Why"?
"Cos theres twice as much material, stitching, labour, packaging, shipping and what not".
"Yeah, so I was outside La Senza and in the window they had these proper knickers for a fiver, but these throng ones whats 3 square inch of cotton and a bit of dental floss was a tenner, and I thought they had it wrong".
"What ya do then Trev?"
"Well I went in to see what was selling and research my new book, but after an hour of me hanging around watching customers I started to ask the women about their knickers, and they said they'd call the police even if it was a book".
"What you calling the book, Trev"?
"I was thinking it was like men and women were so different they must have come from different places, so I was thinking of something like, "Men are from Rochdale, Women are from Brentford"".
"Catchy".

Old R.A.F. Don't let the b*st*rds grind you down.

Wayne and Colleen may not be legally wed! There's no chance of a 5m refund though.

The church had actually been deconsecrated and, as such, the religious ceremony has no validity in the eyes of the Roman Catholic church. More at:

http://www.dailyrecord.co.uk/news/....

Who cares!

they do, or should :-)

I Just found a letter on a train. It reads;

Dear Alisdair Darling, (Must know each other quite well)

The reason why inflation is over 3% is cos things cost more now.

The reason they cost more is cos people will pay it on the chucky and worry about it later, a bit like you lot did over the last few years.

Inflation will either go up or down soon, but we're all buggered if we know what to do next, and frankly don't really care cos we get paid anyway and if it goes wrong we can just put our big pension in the Caymen Islands and live somewhere sunny.

Anyway, its your job at risk, not mine so I don't give a stuff, as long as all my houses don't lose too much.

Stay lucky,

Mervyn King


Another scandal about sensitive documents getting lost!
Typical!!

Any of you clever lot out there know of a web site that I can use to find which LSE quoted companies are being shorted and by what percentage.
I have trawled goggle etc and none have come up.

I don't think its available on here but it is available under 'financials' on advfn.

Skinny,

Many thanks. Found it on the site you mentioned. I used to belong to ADVFN several years ago and this must be a fairly new addition.
Regards Greek.

This couple, who have reared a lion cub, have to release it into the wild to become a wild lion. Sadly, it is just too big for them to keep.

A year goes by and they go back to Africa to see how the lion, who they named Christian, is getting on.

They have been told that it will not remember them. Here's what happens when they meet up once again.

Do you think it will remember them?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zVNTdWbVBgc

Skinny,

Any idea's. I could get the info yesterday re shares on loan ADVFN for a couple of hours, but since then it does not come up on financials. Can you only get these on a regular basis if you sign up re paying to upgrade from free.

Greek.

Greekman - I cannot seem to find them now and I do subscribe!!

Strange to say the least. Anyway will keep trying and thanks again for the info.
If I do find any site that provides such info, I will let you know.
Also I have e-mailed ADVFN re the apparent loss of the aforementioned info.

Greek

Greekman - apparently advfn are no longer showing the crest information - I should have kept quite!

Skinny,

Thanks. No doubt it was me trying the site that jinxed it up.

G&S,
There used to be a list in Shares mag.
Maybe someone at MAM could let you know
where the got their info.
mac

It probably has something to do with the FSA demanding more openness on positions with a ruling as from 20th June.

Thanks to all. Am awaiting reply from ADVFN, but it did cross my mind that it may be linked to the FSA ruling as they are looking to take action against Deutsche Bank re their advise to client to short right issues in British Banks. Although as the rules stand I fail to see how they can.
Interesting all the same.

Have still not found any site that supplies shares on loan figures for free but still looking.
Still awaiting reply from ADVFN, although I did receive an auto 'receipt of message'.
After 2 days, I don't expect any reply as when I was with them several years ago, their customer services were a disgrace, the same went for iii. When will companies learn that it costs far more to attract new customers than it does to retain existing customers (about 10 times as much according to a report released last May re banking services). It is far more difficult to gauge the effect of retention of custom than it is to gauge the effect of newly attained custom.
As to MoneyAm they do as we know, like all web site companies have their site faults and problems, but I don't think anyone can fault their customer services, both for speed of reply and helpfulness.
Just thought they deserve a plaudit or two.

Greekman when I asken them on the problem thread, this was their reply


Skinny:

We are no longer providing the Crest loan information on our site.

Regards,