Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Yes Alan, but if they had as much oil as Iraq, don't you think the world would have looked at the situation a bit keener and earlier. I agree the UK/USA are fully committed, re any direct action. As to your comment re a strongly worded letter, I have just heard prior to seeing your post that Gordon Brown has stated, "Britain is ready to tighten measures against the government in Harare and will ban Zimbabwe's cricket team from touring Britain next year".
OH NO I can hear Mugabe crying into his silk hanky. So thats it then. We can expect him to repent all his sins and renounce leadership.
As to the UN. Fully agree. They are worse than useless, with about as much spine as a jellyfish.
Also, isn't it strange that Amnesty International appear very quiet. They are still though (about 6 weeks ago in Yorkshire) approaching people re condition in our prisons being degrading etc. Easy targets spring to mind.

Another deafening silence is coming from across the border in South Africa.
Nelson does not appear quite as keen to criticise his brother in the struggle against imperialism as he ought.
The oil thing is a total smokescreen which is an easy target for those who like walking down Pall Mall carrying home made banners.
The truth is, without the UN allowing it, nobody would dare lift a finger for fear of the crap that has been thrown at UK & USA.
Remember, Mugabe is an amatuer compared with Saddam in the torture and put citizens to death stakes, so if we could not remove Saddam for that reason, we cannot do anything to Mugabe until he kills a few more hundred thousand.
The worst of it is, he knows this from watching the world react to Iraq, and knows he is safe unless his African neighbours turn on him.

We have some august personages reading these threads!!!
Just 24 hours after reading the comments on Zimbabwe, and being chided for his lack of voice on the subject, Mr Mandela finally speaks................

This morning I had a Nostradamus moment.

I was reading a news report that the government wants us all to cover our roofs with solar panels and build those lego windmill thingies in the back garden to turn wind into electric.
Suddenly I was aware of the news report in 2034;

The Swedish government (sponsored by Ikea) today blamed the UK government (sponsored by BetFred) for its drought and lack of summer (brought to you by Ambre Solaire - official partner of climatic seasons).
The wind (courtesy of Budweiser - proud supplier of climates and beer) that blows across the Virgin Atlantic bringing rain (Blockbuster DVD's - have a night in) has been disrupted by approximately 85 million wind turbines placed in back gardens across the United M&S Kingdom.
The disrupted airflow has caused rainclouds to sit over the British Isles and not get as far as Volvo-Sweden with terrible consequences for their harvest of bio-diesel.
The Swedish cabinet (built by Ikea) is demanding compensation to the tune of several billion episodes of Big Brother, and 10 points in the eurovision song contest as the euro currency is now worthless.
The British Prime Ministers, Ant & Dec (sponsored by Pepsi - official soft drink of wannabes) responded by telling a really bad joke in a Swedish accent and banning the playing of Abba records.
Minister for science, John Tickle of Braniacs, said he thought it was all nonsense and was doing an experiment by farting into a plastic beach windmill to see if it was true.
We asked the secretary general of the UN for his comments, but he had none as their sponsorship deal had not been finalised with Vodaphone.

This news report was brought to you in association with Stella Artois - reassuringly twaddle.

Greek,

Being a fellow Yorkshireman, I think you better know the truth about Robert Mugabe, but lets keep it just between us two.

When the Magatron came to power in 1979, she was already setting her sights on Yorkshires miners, but Ian Smith of Rhodesia was giving her gyp over it. He needed experienced miners to advise him on his mines and was getting them from Castleford.
To sort out the problem she organised an undercover MI5 agent to visit Rhodesia and negotiate on her behalf. She sent Yorkshireman Bob Hardcastle, but under an assumed name. He was distraught to find that miners there had to work for a living and decided there and then to tackle it by usurping Mr Smith and seizing power, so he could infiltrate all the miners in Yorkshire to work there following there pits getting closed.
Under his assumed name, he won power from the Nottingham shop steward Joshua (National ko-operative of mine operators) or Nkomo for short and ruled the new Zimbabwe.
Now, under the 30 year rule, these facts have come out and Gordon Brown must be seen to do something. He has sent over Bob's old foe from Burnley, to masquerade as a political opponent and finally oust the ex yorkshire miner.

It may sound a little far fetched but the evidence is there for all to see;

1) His skin colour. Years of ingrained coal dust from working the seams.
2) The rise of Zimbabwe in world cricket. This must come from Yorkshire.
3) Most conclusively of all. His assumed name Robert (Bob in its longer form) Mugabe (e-ba-gum, backwards). How much more Yorkshire does it get????

It makes more sense than Maestros claims on 9/11

Alan,

After reading your last few posts, I can't help thinking that you are actually Kev and that Hewittalan6 (Alan) is your alter ego. Surely the thoughts of Kev are so parallel with your own that you must be both, one and the same.
There can't possibly be two such brilliant philosophers on the same planet, can there?

Its the medication, Greek.
Ye Gods this is fantastic stuff.
I can recommend the NHS when you consider your arrangements for a coronary event.

I have it on very good authority that the credit crunch is over. The FTSE is dramatically oversold and will start to fly up by the end of the week. The very sound reasoning behind this, apparently, is that........................































my wife has been shopping today :o(((

Mine was shopping today and yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before and the day before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Just read a wonderful couple of posts on the bugs thread. It ran like this;

Greekman; "Ian. Bit of a problem with one of your facilities in the Investors room. When I type something onto a thread, there appears to be some kind of time-out utility that doesn't quite allow me to finish that which I am trying to say. Therefore I have to type out my requirements in word and use cut & paste into the add a post box before pressing Post Message.
The issue appears to be the limited amount of time (only about 2 minutes) to complete my thoughts before this timing out occurs, and as you are well aware, wel constructed and reasoned debate can take as lon

Ian (MAM); "For Christs sake get on with it, Greekman. We haven't got all day you know".

Alan,

Have granted you the poetic license you have obviously used. Thinking of a quick reply. Will post it tomorrow.

Greek,
;-)
Alan

every now and then you see someone who is blessed with a true talent.

Yeh, ok he's good Bosley......but he's drinking Stella out of a wine glass! I'll bet he was reassuringly pi**ed after.

Why are people on this thread talking to each other?

Ah. Excellent philosophical point!

As one who studied philosophy (well, I thought for a long time about going to university - and surely thats the same thing) I think its probably due to fluctuations in the space time continuinuinuum.
If the theories of Hawkins are right, then there are an infinate number of universes, so we must exist in one where we are all the same person. A full explanation is too long and contains the word quantum at least 4 times.
My favoured philosopher, Immanuel Kant, would argue that either we are talking to ourselves or not, and either way it is an illogical waste of time, so we should get a life. I believe this is expanded in his book "Critique of pure reason".
Finally, Aristotle would have pointed out that we are talking to ourselves and that the responses are private thoughts, interpreted by others as messages or questions to them, but he thought a tortoise was faster than an arrow, so he was probably pi55ed on excellent greek wine.
Which leaves us with the most famous philosophical idiom ever - I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.

Cring:-))

Dum dee dum, dee da da, diddly dumdum. It's ok, just humming to myself.

How's things Alan, managing to stay away from the good things in life - you know, the ones that are bad for us?! Hope you are recovering well.

Doing fine thanks, Kim.
Looking forward to terrorising work colleagues and bowlers alike, in the fullness of time.
The good things in life are but a distant but fond memory. All those little avenues of pleasure that have now become cul-de-sacs, like cigs (still go through a few), beer (allowed one. ONE!!!!!), egg on toast & bacon butties (foodstuffs of the Gods in my opinion). The upside is I now have an excuse for an afternoon nap, the missus has to do everything and I am chasing a blue badge for the car (heaven).
Strange note in my recovery manual - sex is okay as long as it is not with a stranger!!! Apparantly this is bad for the heart. I presume because the wife would run a bread knife through it.

Alan, good to see that at least your sense of humour hasn't diminshed! Also good news that you are allowed a beer, proof if ever there was that it is good for health. I imagine that you are allowed only one at the moment to avoid straining yourself whilst raising the bucket to your lips!