Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Greek,

Being a fellow Yorkshireman, I think you better know the truth about Robert Mugabe, but lets keep it just between us two.

When the Magatron came to power in 1979, she was already setting her sights on Yorkshires miners, but Ian Smith of Rhodesia was giving her gyp over it. He needed experienced miners to advise him on his mines and was getting them from Castleford.
To sort out the problem she organised an undercover MI5 agent to visit Rhodesia and negotiate on her behalf. She sent Yorkshireman Bob Hardcastle, but under an assumed name. He was distraught to find that miners there had to work for a living and decided there and then to tackle it by usurping Mr Smith and seizing power, so he could infiltrate all the miners in Yorkshire to work there following there pits getting closed.
Under his assumed name, he won power from the Nottingham shop steward Joshua (National ko-operative of mine operators) or Nkomo for short and ruled the new Zimbabwe.
Now, under the 30 year rule, these facts have come out and Gordon Brown must be seen to do something. He has sent over Bob's old foe from Burnley, to masquerade as a political opponent and finally oust the ex yorkshire miner.

It may sound a little far fetched but the evidence is there for all to see;

1) His skin colour. Years of ingrained coal dust from working the seams.
2) The rise of Zimbabwe in world cricket. This must come from Yorkshire.
3) Most conclusively of all. His assumed name Robert (Bob in its longer form) Mugabe (e-ba-gum, backwards). How much more Yorkshire does it get????

It makes more sense than Maestros claims on 9/11

Alan,

After reading your last few posts, I can't help thinking that you are actually Kev and that Hewittalan6 (Alan) is your alter ego. Surely the thoughts of Kev are so parallel with your own that you must be both, one and the same.
There can't possibly be two such brilliant philosophers on the same planet, can there?

Its the medication, Greek.
Ye Gods this is fantastic stuff.
I can recommend the NHS when you consider your arrangements for a coronary event.

I have it on very good authority that the credit crunch is over. The FTSE is dramatically oversold and will start to fly up by the end of the week. The very sound reasoning behind this, apparently, is that........................































my wife has been shopping today :o(((

Mine was shopping today and yesterday and the day before and the day before and the day before and the day before!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.

Just read a wonderful couple of posts on the bugs thread. It ran like this;

Greekman; "Ian. Bit of a problem with one of your facilities in the Investors room. When I type something onto a thread, there appears to be some kind of time-out utility that doesn't quite allow me to finish that which I am trying to say. Therefore I have to type out my requirements in word and use cut & paste into the add a post box before pressing Post Message.
The issue appears to be the limited amount of time (only about 2 minutes) to complete my thoughts before this timing out occurs, and as you are well aware, wel constructed and reasoned debate can take as lon

Ian (MAM); "For Christs sake get on with it, Greekman. We haven't got all day you know".

Alan,

Have granted you the poetic license you have obviously used. Thinking of a quick reply. Will post it tomorrow.

Greek,
;-)
Alan

every now and then you see someone who is blessed with a true talent.

Yeh, ok he's good Bosley......but he's drinking Stella out of a wine glass! I'll bet he was reassuringly pi**ed after.

Why are people on this thread talking to each other?

Ah. Excellent philosophical point!

As one who studied philosophy (well, I thought for a long time about going to university - and surely thats the same thing) I think its probably due to fluctuations in the space time continuinuinuum.
If the theories of Hawkins are right, then there are an infinate number of universes, so we must exist in one where we are all the same person. A full explanation is too long and contains the word quantum at least 4 times.
My favoured philosopher, Immanuel Kant, would argue that either we are talking to ourselves or not, and either way it is an illogical waste of time, so we should get a life. I believe this is expanded in his book "Critique of pure reason".
Finally, Aristotle would have pointed out that we are talking to ourselves and that the responses are private thoughts, interpreted by others as messages or questions to them, but he thought a tortoise was faster than an arrow, so he was probably pi55ed on excellent greek wine.
Which leaves us with the most famous philosophical idiom ever - I'm pink, therefore I'm Spam.

Cring:-))

Dum dee dum, dee da da, diddly dumdum. It's ok, just humming to myself.

How's things Alan, managing to stay away from the good things in life - you know, the ones that are bad for us?! Hope you are recovering well.

Doing fine thanks, Kim.
Looking forward to terrorising work colleagues and bowlers alike, in the fullness of time.
The good things in life are but a distant but fond memory. All those little avenues of pleasure that have now become cul-de-sacs, like cigs (still go through a few), beer (allowed one. ONE!!!!!), egg on toast & bacon butties (foodstuffs of the Gods in my opinion). The upside is I now have an excuse for an afternoon nap, the missus has to do everything and I am chasing a blue badge for the car (heaven).
Strange note in my recovery manual - sex is okay as long as it is not with a stranger!!! Apparantly this is bad for the heart. I presume because the wife would run a bread knife through it.

Alan, good to see that at least your sense of humour hasn't diminshed! Also good news that you are allowed a beer, proof if ever there was that it is good for health. I imagine that you are allowed only one at the moment to avoid straining yourself whilst raising the bucket to your lips!

Gordon Brown is preaching again. This time it's about food waste. He is telling us to help save the planet by thinking about what and how much food we buy, as according to the latest research we throw up to a third of all food produce away.
Now it's not that I don't think we should be more prudent with food use/waste, but until the Government practices what it preaches, any such issues are treated with complete disdain.
I wonder how much food waste will be generated by the G8 summit which is costing sqillions of pound, including the services of several world renown chefs that are being flown in especially to prepare no doubt very expensive dishes.
Years ago food waste was converted into pig swill, which was stopped due to swine fever and foot and mouth, although us county folk knew that ordinary food waste caused no problem whatsoever.
Thought the analogy fitted as both pigs and MP's till have their snouts in the trough.
The saying 'Let them eat cake' springs to mind. Come the revolution brothers!
Hypocritical BA****DS.

While I'm at it.
Last Friday I received a call from my accountant (I had a one man business, retiring last August) regarding the none mention of a bank account that I had mentioned in previous years and had not mentioned in the 2007/2008 returns. This account (which I had honestly forgotten about) being linked to a current account was kept open with a token ammount of 1 in order to benefit from a travel insurance deal. When I informed my accountant that the interest was 1p, she stated that I had better still declare it as they might query if the account was still in use, and I could still be liable for none declaration even for the lowly sum of 1p. It wasn't till later that I drew the parallel (if it is a parallel) with the huge amount of cash via expenses that the MP's do not have to declare. Surely these Honorable(sic) gentlemen/women have only one reason to fear an outside audit, and that's because they have something to hide.
Thieving Hypocritical BA****DS.

Found on another site,
The G8 Menu

Cocktail

Waffle, reheated

Eight prawns grilled under a warm climate

Promises la Gleneagles, tossed

Aid Stew on a bed of insufficient replenishment

Roast Lamy in a forced liberalisation jus

(Broc) Wurst G8

Fudge

Glad you mentioned hypocrisy, Greek, in relation to our Fuhrers speech on wasted food. I was going to approach it from a different angle.
Food is a major discussion point at our cricket club (not least because we are all so fat our team photograph is an aerial shot).
We have a problem with the rising cost of half time butties and stickies. League rules mean we have to feed 26 every week, and the only money the club gets to do so is 55 from the players. This is getting harder.
I recently approached the supermarkets from whom we get our food and asked if they could help us by not throwing away the bread, cold meat and salads on Friday night just because it was past its display until date. We would collect it Saturday morning and it would be eaten by tea time, well before its consume by date.
The answer was a resounding no. Not because of lost revenue reservations, but because of health & safety law, which meant it had to go to landfill or composting.
The result of this idiocy is that we have to buy food we cannot afford, to help support junior sportsmen and keep them off the streets and bashing old ladys over the head, while perfectly good and edible food gets thrown in a hole in the ground, at great expense to the retailer.
Someone point out the good reason for this, because I am buggered if I can find a more ludicrous use of resources or a more petty ruleset to overthrow common sense.