Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

That is years old bosley - do keep up!

Re: Post 7022

I think our archers need targets.



Sorry. Tumbleweed slowly rolls across monitor.

Hi StarFrog,

Never thought of that. At least you have started the ball rolling.

If the javelin throwers need targets, may I suggest anyone with the letters MP after their name?
The target for swimming, for me, has always been not to drown.
Equestrian targets could be my rose bed.

How about a General Studies "A" level exam essay subject based on the olympics? "Javelin and Hammer are the only field events. Discus."

What about raising our tally by introducing games we would win. Such as queueing without complaining. Electing idiots. Synchronised stabbing.

The far East included Judo, Tae Kwondo etc., so could we introduce Morris dancing?

And I now give you a promise of 2 world records to be set at the London Olympics.

1) Highest ever ticket price paid.
2) Furthest distance ever from an event to a parking space

Verily, we can hold our heads high.

Just in:

Blessed Herbs. That's what you need, so they tell me. Blessed Herbs.

Yurgh!

You'll have to find your own link(s)!!!!

:-(

Greek, 'The sports where we struggle should receive a bigger slice of the cake, not less.
Another c**p idea. '

Couldn't agree more. The ones where we did well obviously have the right amount of funding - you cant do better than a gold medal so why waste money trying to?

But the present government does the same thing across the board - not just sports.

How come Mony - post excellent results and dividend rise and drop
and Tw. lose 1.5 Billion and are up from last week ??????? Strange old world.

From http://news.bbc.co.uk/........

Man's 'pants' password is changed

A man who chose "Lloyds is pants" as his telephone banking password said he found it had been changed by a member of staff to "no it's not".

Steve Jetley, from Shrewsbury, said he chose the password after falling out with Lloyds TSB over insurance that came free with an account. He said he was then banned from changing it back or to another password of "Barclays is better".

The bank apologised and said the staff member no longer worked there.

Mr Jetley said he first realised his security password had been changed when a call centre staff member told him his code word did not match with the one on the computer.

"I thought it was actually quite a funny response," he said. I tried 'Barclays is better' and that didn't go down too well either but what really incensed me was when I was told I could not change it back to 'Lloyds is pants' because they said it was not appropriate.

"I asked if it was 'pants' they didn't like, and would 'Lloyds is rubbish' do? But they didn't think so. So I tried 'Barclays is better' and that didn't go down too well either. The rules seemed to change, and they told me it had to be one word, so I tried 'censorship', but they didn't like that, and then said it had to be no more than six letters long."

Mr Jetley said he was still trying to find a suitable password which met the conditions. He said his dispute with the bank started over some travel insurance, but that issue had been dealt with by managers independently.

A statement released by the bank said: "We would like to apologise to Mr Jetley.

"It is very disappointing that he felt the need to express his upset with our service in this way. Customers can have any password they choose and it is not our policy to allow staff to change the password without the customer's permission. The member of staff involved no longer works for Lloyds TSB."

Execline,

If every bank I have fallen out with stopped me from being a customer, I would have no chance opening an account with any of them.
Useless the lot of them.
And while I am in a moaning mood (well worse than usual anyway), how about this for a B****Y scandal.
From The Daily Telegraph, today.

It appears that the NHS is expected to have a 1.75 billion surplus in the bank by the end of this financial year (as thats about 7 months away I'm not sure how they can say this, but still). Also the figures show that there was a surplus of 1.6 billion at the end of the financial year in April.
Also Nice have apologized to patients for the two and a half years they took to evaluate the drug, Lucentis for age related eye disease.
It's about time these highly paid, pension comfy, over bonused, mollycoddled, useless jobsworthy's were given a quick kick up the jacksy.

That may happen yet, Greek.
The NHS hope to have a NICE evaluation on the efficacy of a kick up the arse within the next 10 to 15 years.
Trial results are so far inconsistent and inconclusive.
A spokesman for the Civil Service department responsible told me that while it appeared "prima Facia" to work for the lower classes, there was evidence that it does not work terribly well on civil servants, council workers, sportsmen and politicians.
When pressed for evidence he sited that Ronaldo gets a penalty and 3 weeks off work every time he is kicked and that world leaders responded badly to kicks up the arse, such as Bush, Mugabe, Brown and Hussein. He said there was evidence that the best approach was that used by civil servants and politicians throughout the ages, of rapid promotion to a position where they do little other than shake hands and a large increase in pension rights.
The NICE report is due around the time of the reign of Queen Kylie III.

Well you can kiss my ****. (By the way that is NOT an invitation)
Trust Alan to come up with such profound advice.
Must say I found your post an excellent ending to the day. I think this time you have surpassed yourself. A Very funny post.
May I pinch it for another site, as this deserves to be shared.(credit to be given)

Feel free!!!

Alan, that was supposed to be confidential. Trials for KUTA have yet to reach Phase 1, how did you hear about it?

;o)

Keep writing them. The world needs them!

On the 10th September the first attempt to circulate a beam in CERN's Large Hadron Collider (LHC) will be made.

The LHC is the world's most powerful particle accelerator and is housed in a 27 Kilometre tunnel. It is comprised of 8 sectors, which each operate at 1.9 degrees above Absolute Zero (-271deg C).

To power it up they have to start all the circuits of each sector and then synchronise the eight sectors in unison so that it can operate as a single machine. Once this is done and the wholething is commissioned, they start to collide some LHC beams, which are accelerated to boost their energy levels.

This is when research into particle physics begins to enter a new frontier.

Some say these guys will create some Black Holes and we will all disappear into them. Others say these kinds of collisions are happening all the time and stuff, including any Black Holes, just evaporates. Well they would, wouldn't they? I mean it just stands to reason that they will evaporate. Any fool can work that out.

Anyhow, just in case they don't, they have built this collider thing in two countries, (Switzerland and France) not just one. So if we do all disappear into a Black Hole, it will be even more difficult to sue the bastards who were in charge of building it in the first place!

Ah well. We shall soon know the answer to the origin of the universe.

I always thought it was "42".

Here's some more explanatory stuff on it:

CERN Rap from Will Barras on Vimeo.

The great thing about it is that if we do all disappear into a black hole it will no doubt happen instantaneously. See you inside Doc.

Some pictures to make you feel humble and which are of bodies right at the opposite end of the size scale to the stuff going on in the Large Hadron Collider above.

The last one contains a picture of Antares, which is the 15th brightest star in the sky and about 1000 Light Years away.

Had to smile when I read this. Aw. Little love. :-)

And if you're a news journalist or a newspaper editor, you have to think of a headline. Can you think of a good one?

Cappuccino with an extra shot, please

Here's another good one, but I do admit to cribbing it:

"When you stop for a number two, Starbucks can cause a career review."

And I thought that Gordon Brown and Alistair Darling had already created a black hole. Wish they would both disappear into it.

From http://www.dailymail.co.uk/....

M&S refuses to speak to mum about 7-year-old son's faulty Superman suit because it would 'breach his data protection rights'

By Andrew Levy
5th September 2008

Given a handy sofa to jump off, seven-year-old Jacob Hunter-Lamb can fly through the air just like his hero Superman.

Unfortunately, however, his superpowers do not yet extend to dealing on the phone with a customer services operative from Marks & Spencer.

His mother Debbie phoned M&S to complain when Jacob's Superman outfit, a birthday present bought online by his aunt, arrived in the post minus the necessary yellow belt.

Instead of a quick chat to resolve the problem she found herself involved in a farcical scene when the member of staff insisted he could speak only to Jacob because of 'data protection laws'.

'The whole thing was just so bizarre,' said Mrs Lamb, 33, a mother of three from Lincoln.

'They said because of data protection they had to speak to the recipient of the present. I said, "OK but he is only seven and out playing in the garden".'

Jacob managed to confirm his name to the customer services operative but became confused when asked for his address and postcode.

'He only knew the house number but not our street or town,' said Mrs Lamb, who also has a daughter Chloe, eight, and son Tom, two.

'He just went blank. I had to whisper the address to him. It's madness really. Jacob was very confused. He doesn't get many phone calls and nobody had ever asked him for his postcode before. It's never featured in his little world.'

After completing the check on his personal information, Jacob had to be coaxed into giving permission for his mother to take over the call.

Unsure if his ordeal was over, he then asked her if he could go back to playing with his friends before returning to the garden.

Mrs Lamb, who is married to Jacob's stepfather Danny Lamb, a 28-year-old civil engineer, said the member of staff was apologetic and embarrassed and revealed he had even had to speak to a four-year-old before.

Marks and Spencer yesterday said it would be apologising to Mrs Lamb for what it described as 'human error'.

A spokesman said: 'What happened here was, we admit, entirely our fault. It was a one-off human error and we have reminded staff of the correct way to handle this situation.

'Under the Data Protection Act it is necessary for us to talk to the person whose details we have.

'In this situation, we needed to speak to the aunt who ordered the suit or, if re-sending, then the person whose address that is.

' The operative obviously thought because it was for a little boy it should be checked with him but that's not what you do when it involves a minor.'

The Data Protection Act does not specify a minimum age when businesses need to check information with children.

But the Information Commissioner's Office suggests a ' commonsense' approach and has issued guidelines stating parents or guardians should act on behalf of anyone under 12.

Sadly for Jacob, M&S has been unable to find a replacement belt as it has no more stock of the Superman costume.

But it has sent him a free Incredible Hulk outfit instead.