Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Yes made me smile.
Just sold out of my RBS shares at a gain of 40% on the day but well down from the buy of 6. Talk about bad timing (the buy).
The whole banking sector appears to be euphoriatic (probably no such word but I like it) even with the specter of further turmoil and write downs.
How the heck can a share on what is not yet known details (the new financial system being touted), rise by 40%.
Talk about market madness.

On a different Note.
Heard that David Jason (Dell Boy) was seen parking his Reliant Robin in the Government Ministers Car Park at the House of Commons yesterday.
Could he be the next announced position of government spin adviser, or minister for business.
Can see it now....
Dell Boy, as said.
Rodney as Chancellor.
Trigger as Foreign Secretary.
Uncle Albert as Forces Minister with special responsibility for The Navy.
Boycie Transport Minister.

My 5 says Dell Boy has bribed the forces that be and the Lloyds TSB/HBOS merger will not go ahead.

And the reason they will give to all of us punters is "Competition Grounds".

Can't manage on your Old Age Pension?

Then become a killer and rapist.

If you need it, and don't already get it for Free on the NHS, you can get the necessary Viagra now 'on tick' to help you become a rapist and then pay for it later out of your profits.

Or maybe, don't do the rape thing, just do the killing?

Whatever. Just do one or the other, if you can't do both. Just do what you think is best.

Check it out HERE

If your caught shorting in many financial institutions from today the penalty is as yet not known, but just make sure you put any paperwork referring to your dealings after today in the right colored bin as if not you will really be in trouble.
Blue bin for re-cycling.
Brown bin for **** waste etc.
With so many being 'Caught Short today' I will be looking to buy shares in Andrex.
Sorry couldn't resist.

My mate, William Stickers, is now terrified.
After years of going into town and seeing signs saying "Bill Stickers will be prosecuted", he finally got a job at Northern Rock. When dismissed he went on to work for HBOS.
He also suffers dwarfism and thinks the FSA are out to get him personally, as a banking short.
This is before he lights a fag, drops his match, and gets into his car. All of which are likely to see him arrested.
He is the antithesis of everything society wants at the moment, and is considering changing his name and lifestyle to Gary Glitter, as he thinks he may receive better treatment from the state.

Your mate must also feel persecuted every time they used to shout, 'Shoot at will' in the old films.

No wonder we are looked at as such an easy target.

HMS Shambles, all aboard.

http://www.people.co.uk/news/news/tm_headline=hms-shambles-all-aboard&method=full&objectid=20746148&siteid=93463-name_page.html

So our illustrious leader is set to increase government borrowing yet again.
If GB Ltd was a company I wonder what rating an agency such as Standard an Poors would put on the company.

If you look at the following,

AAA : the best quality borrowers, reliable and stable
AA : quality borrowers, a bit higher risk than AAA
A : economic situation can affect finance
BBB : medium class borrowers, which are satisfactory at the moment
BB : more prone to changes in the economy
B : financial situation varies noticeably
CCC : currently vulnerable and dependent on favorable economic conditions to meet its commitments
CC : highly vulnerable, very speculative bonds
C : highly vulnerable, perhaps in bankruptcy or in arrears but still continuing to pay out on obligations
CI : past due on interest
R : under regulatory supervision due to its financial situation
SD : has selectively defaulted on some obligations
D : has defaulted on obligations and S&P believes that it will generally default on most or all obligations
NR : not rated

Did not take this government long to go from at least a single A to pushing SD, after all they are on rating R as the EU still have the UK on regulatory (in theory anyway) watch re the borrowings percentage of GDP.
GB if a company is Bankrupt, morally as well as financially.

It is about time the CEO (Brown), Treasurer (Darling) and the rest of the board were voted out. If only.

Tongue in cheek comments perhaps but I did say If GB was a Ltd company.

Good Luck to 49yr old Yves Rossy, or 'Fusionman' as he is known, in his single jet-propelled wing channel crossing later today.

He leaves Calais in a small plane, jumps out at 2,500m, and hits 'Start' on the 4-burner kerosene fuelled jet turbines on the 2.5m long, (this weighs 55kg when loaded with fuel) wing attached to his body.

His speed gets up to around 125 mph and 12 mins later he is due to arrive at Dover at circa 1pm.

Upon arrival in the right vicinity, sorta kinda, Yves turns off his jets and turns on his parachute.

Sounds like an utter doddle to me. Anyone could do it.

He's canceled for today - apparently its too misty in Dover. But he's going to try again tomorrow. You can watch it live at http://jetmanlive.com

Can't see what he's doing? Chickened out more like. ;-)

Anyhow, back to the lawn. I treated it with fertiliser a few days ago and missed a big chunk. So 85% is now green and 15 % is, well, not as green.

But I'd be alright flying one of those jet pack wing things. Not all that much harder than fertilising the lawn, I reckon.

:-)

What he's doing is easy. He's got power.

This guy gets the award for bravery, or will it be a Darwin Award? He will be jumping from 2,500 ft with no power and no parachute, relying on a special suit which he thinks will enable him to survive the experience. That is provided that the suit slows him to 70mph, and that he manages to find and land on a particular special runway at the correct speed, position and angle. If he manages all those things he will 'survive the landing'. If he doesn't manage to do all those things he will go splat.

Is it a bird? Is it a plane?

Form an orderly queue after me and the US government

I doubt I will ever have grandchildren. My kids are far too ugly to attract the opposite sex.
But if I do, will they learn in their history lessons how 2008 was the start of the death of free market capitalism, and the conception of a new, protectionist, national socialism?
The nationalisation of Northern Rock, and now B&B. The $700bn bail out by Uncle Sam. The Alitalia merger. The moves to only allow investing, not shorting. The government plans to allow councils and housing associations to buy up houses and let the sellers remain living there. The extension of grants to homeowners to alleviate fuel issues. Discussion of greater central bank powers to set budgets and borrowing levels.
I'm just feeling a touch concerned that there is a general drift towards protectionism and nationalism, and all the bad old ways of doing things. Gobby people in bad cardigans arguing round a table for ever before anything gets done, and when it does get done, it is logically correct but somehow entirely wrong.
We all know that a protectionist, national socialist design for a racehorse ends up being a camel.
Can't quite put my fears in words, but I fear for the longer term future, of those grandkids I haven't got.

Just returned from Hols in Egypt.
As usual was followed round by the locals, adult as well as kids, hands out shouting نقود (money).
Tried to explain to them that as the UK was deep in the financial **** I had no spare money, but they would keep pestering me, so in the end I gave in.
Did not like to take their money but they looked at me with so much pity.
Total received after 2 weeks was only about 20 Egyptian Pounds (2) but I suppose it was all they could afford.

Remember Labors signature tune at the last election. 'Things can only get better'

Talk about a haunting melody, coming back and bitting you in the ****.

lol. well said greekman

Totally beyond belief. Apparently, according to the news on TV, a number of local authorities had accounts with Icelandic Banks and are exposed to the tune off many millions, 100+. What ever is the matter with these people who obviously have no idea about risk when handling other peoples money. They probably look at the higher interest rate and then go for it. They are not covered in anyway and have written to the Chancellor to tell him of their plight. For the amount of money they are dealing with any of the major UK banks would have loved the business at reasonable rates. Needs the old school back, or perhaps its too late. Be interesting to learn which the Councils are involved.

In my opinion most Council members are just in it for themselves, and when it comes to professionalism they fail miserably.
After last years floods Hull City Council had to admit that to save money many areas of the city that were flooded were not covered by insurance.
How the hell a council with it's massive buying power could fail to ensure properties were not covered by basic buildings insurance beggars belief.
Still the same council spent/wasted many thousands of pounds on a so called art structure for the city which resembles a (what some locals call) very large stench pipe.

We'll need loans to pay our council tax soon - anyone know a good lender?

'Town halls across the country may have to raise council tax and cut services as the repercussions of the collapse of the Icelandic economy broadened into a diplomatic row with Britain. '

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/politics/article4910126.ece

We may now get our own back for them stealing our cod and inflicting Bjork on us. about time. I've never gorgiven them for either. Sue the bastards, I say.

'The Government used anti-terrorism powers to freeze an estimated 4 billion of British financial assets in Landsbanki, Icesaves parent bank. A spokesman for the Treasury said that the 2001 Anti-Terrorism, Crime and Security Act was invoked as a precautionary measure. '

'Mr Darling expressed incredulity that Reykjavik was cold-shouldering British investors. The Icelandic Government have told me, believe it or not, they have no intention of honouring their obligations, he said. Britain started legal action yesterday in an effort to recover money belonging to Icesave customers. '