Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Am I right in thinking that BP pay out divi's 4 times a year? seems to be 14 cents[US ?] for Q3. Thinking it may be a good income share over time and divi, though not guaranteed, should be safe as long as they keep making BIG profits[again not guaranteed]
Alex

One to share with you that's a joke -but it's not. It's one to make a very strong mental note about:

A new client had just come in to see a famous lawyer.

Can you tell me how much you charge? said the client.

Of course, the lawyer replied, I charge 200 to answer three questions!

Well that's a bit steep, isn't it?

Yes it is, said the lawyer, And what's your third question?

Alex - you're right - BP divi 4 times a year.

pretty neat to use and free to register , freeview on yer pc . pretty handy in my house anyways when the footies on!!
quality is fantastic!

http://www.tvcatchup.com/?member=lob_on

Watch Live Television Online For FREE
TVCatchup is a new service which lets you watch live television online. There are currently 15 channels to choose from, it's totally legal and ... Read Moreabsolutely free!

My thought for today on the Brazilian GP...... Massa gets a puncture on the first lap and Kwik-Fit is closedRaikkonen runs out of fuel and has left his can at homeAlonso hits the barrier and aint wearing his seatbelt.Kovalainen gets a speeding ticketTrulli goes off his trolley.and its Academic for Hamilton!!!

Massa-cred.Ferrari got what they deserved.and in the best possible way!!!! Yehaaaaaaa!

Well Hamilton is world champion...congratulations are in order....now : Halloween ?.....what on earth are we celebrating halloween for ? it is an an American import....., when I was a kid : the 5th of november was all important not this crap for dressed up "juvenile brats"...why does Britain have to copy the worse from over the pond....for god's sake throw all your blinkin' costumes on the Guy Fawkes bonfire...! and I wish Councils would ban fireworks from being let off on any other day than the 5th of november...now we have fireworks going off 1 week before the due date and a week later...the 5th of November is the 5th of november not the 3rd or the 10th come rain or shine...if there was terrible weather on the 5th...letting them off on the 6th could just about be tolerated, ....can you imagine the French celebrating the 14th of July on the 9th or the 18th....they would never allow it.....another example of the drop in standards in this country !.

Yeh my poor cat is well pi**ed off with it all.

And my dog as well !.

And my wife

My wife sees fireworks every night (well I can dream can't I).

Roman candles.or do you banger?

About the wife...it depends whether you love her or not...distract her and tie a rope to her foot during the fireworks display, if she notices anything say to her : "that it will only take her into sub-orbit.....it's for the kids you'll see ...it'll make them smile"....!

Euhhh !....as some of my blogs are serious..."please don't try this at home folks" !.

hear hear required!

You might enjoy this one!

The US Presidential Election - An Announcement


A MESSAGE FROM HRH THE QUEEN


To the citizens of the United States of America from Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II
In light of your failure in recent years to nominate competent candidates for President of the USA and thus to govern yourselves properly, we hereby revoke,renounce and declare to be void and of no effect your so called declaration of independence.
(You should look up 'revocation' in the Oxford English Dictionary).

Her Sovereign Majesty Queen Elizabeth II will resume monarchical duties over all states, commonwealths, and territories forming the Union or any part thereof (except for Kansas, which she does not particularly fancy).

Your new Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, will appoint a Governor for America without the need for further elections.
Congress and the Senate are hereby dissolved and disbanded. A questionnaire may be circulated next year to determine whether any of you noticed.

To aid in the transition to a British Crown dependency, the following rules are introduced with immediate effect:
-----------------------
1. The letter 'U' will be reinstated in words such as 'colour,' 'favour,' 'labour' and 'neighbour.' Likewise, you will learn to spell 'doughnut' without skipping half the letters, and the suffix '-ize' will be replaced by the suffix '-ise.' Generally, you will be expected to raise your vocabulary to acceptable levels. (look up 'vocabulary').
------------------------
2. Using the same twenty-seven words interspersed with filler noises such as 'like' and 'you know' is an unacceptable and inefficient form of communication. There is no such thing as U.S. English.. We will let Microsoft know on your behalf. The Microsoft spell-checker will be adjusted to take into account the reinstated letter 'u'' and the elimination of '-ize.'
-------------------
3. July 4th will no longer be celebrated as a holiday.
-----------------
4. You will learn to resolve personal issues without using guns, lawyers, or therapists. The fact that you need so many lawyers and therapists shows that you're not quite ready to be independent. Guns should only be used for shooting grouse. If you cannot sort things out without suing someone or speaking to a therapist, then you are not ready to shoot grouse..
----------------------
5. Therefore, you will no longer be allowed to own or carry anything more dangerous than a vegetable peeler. Although a permit will be required if you wish to carry a vegetable peeler in public.
----------------------
6. All intersections will be replaced with roundabouts, and you will start driving on the left side with immediate effect. At the same time, you will go metric with immediate effect and without the benefit of conversion tables. Both roundabouts and metrication will help you understand the British sense of humour.
--------------------
7. The former USA will adopt UK prices on petrol (which you have been calling gasoline) of roughly $10/US gallon. Get used to it.
-------------------
8. You will learn to make real chips. Those things you call French fries are not real chips, and those things you insist on calling potato chips are properly called crisps. Real chips are thick cut, fried in animal fat, and dressed not with catsup but with vinegar.
---------------------
9. Hollywood will be required occasionally to cast English actors as good guys. Hollywood will also be required to cast English actors to play English characters. Watching Andie Macdowell attempt English dialogue in Four Weddings and a Funeral was an experience akin to having one's ears removed with a cheese grater.
---------------------
10. You will cease playing American football. There is only one kind of proper football; you call it soccer. Those of you brave enough will, in time, be allowed to play rugby (which has some similarities to American football, but does not involve stopping for a rest every twenty seconds or wearing full Kevlar body armour like a bunch of nancies)..
---------------------
11. Further, you will stop playing baseball. It is not reasonable to host an event called the World Series for a game which is not played outside of America. Since only 2.1% of you are aware there is a world beyond your borders, your error is understandable. You will learn cricket, and we will let you face the Australians first to take the sting out of their deliveries.

12. An internal revenue agent (i.e. tax collector) from Her Majesty's Government will be with you shortly to ensure the immediate collection of all tax monies due (backdated to 1776).
---------------
God Save the Queen!

You lot are not as mucky as I thought. I would have put money on it that there would have been several sexual suggestions on how to improve my sex live.
No doubt the rest of you are on a higher moral plain than Tabasco and Required Field (but I doubt it).

This Is Me,

Just seen your post. Very good/funny even if there is a lot of it that rings true.
Of course the days of teaching other countries democracy have long faded. Come the revolution brothers!

Amazing.....! thanks this is me, too much influence from the USA !.

Greekman ..I am very moral. You have hurt me..take the m away.even more so! lol

Come, come Tabasco...we shall live to fight again !,.....vive la revolution (as long as my earnings keep coming in) !.