Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

I have read several articles of late stating that we should be looking for and seeing the positives.
OK there may be some out there, but I can't see any yet.
Looking for the positives, is like telling the captain of the Titanic to look on the bright side, after it hit the iceberg, or telling him things could be worse as it started to sink.
So at present all I can see is doom and gloom.
Yes things will get better, as everything runs in cycles, but as yet I don't think we can even see the corner never mind having started to turn it.

Like private Frazer in Dad's Army often states. Doomed, were all Doomed.

Some of you will like this...

Kaka'd

Overheard telephone dialogue between Man City and AC Milan superstar
Kaka. Unfortunately I only have the script from the City end but I think
it is clear for all as to the total content:


"Hello, is that Kaka? How do you fancy becoming the supply line to Craig
Bellamy and Darius Vassell this winter?

"No, your fellow countryman doesn't like the cold and will be out until
mid April - but you will play alongside Stephen Ireland"

"No, Kaka, Ireland is a person not a country"

"yes, I fully appreciate that he is not Ronaldinho, Pirlo or even
Beckham but many fans have him in their fantasy football"

"I know you are currently the richest man in Italy but we can double
it!"

"erm, well, we have had a bit of a slide recently and we are currently
15th"

"erm, out of 20...... but Mark Hughes once won the double for our
neighbours"

"Hughes"

"Ex Blackburn boss"

"Blackburn, Blackburn Rovers"

"No, Blackburn......Black.....Burn"

"HUGHES man, HUGHES!!!"

"He once scored a good goal against Spain "

"No, thats Gerry Armstrong..... anyway, are you coming or not?"

"Usually about two thirds full but if we play a big team its really
rocks"

"yes I know, but we dont even have a car park cos all the fans walk to
the ground they are so local"

"Relevance? well, I suppose its all they have to brag about whether its
true or not"

"Only the one to be fair but its called 'blue moon' you will love it"

"Blue"

"yes, definitely blue, always has been"

"No, no, no, they are in Trafford"

"yes they are, steeped in it in fact but what good is history to you my
ambitious friend?"

"erm, 1976 I think"

"it was the er, the er League cup if memory serves me right"

"Well, the plan was to get in the top 4 this season and then....."

"yes, I realise that but....."

"Aston Villa? Whats it got to do with them?"

"Yes, I know but we have been down this history route already"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know about Nottingham
Forest ?"

"Yes, yes, and Leeds United also made a final but you are missing my
point, this is all about the future"

"Give me strength......HUGHES!!!!"

"yes I know he did and he was a legend there but he is a changed man"

"forget them, they are falling apart"

"But all those trophies were won last year! They have won nothing in
2009"

"I have told you.... 1976!!!!"

"How the heck does a Brazilian playing in Italy know that Virginia Wade
has won Wimbledon since then?"

"Yes she probably is in her 60's"

"I dont know, probably about 10 league titles, 2 european cups and
countless domestic cups what has that got to do with it?"

"76,000 why?"

"yes, every game, even minor cups I suppose, but where is this getting
us?"

"Yes, the league cup is considered a minor cup over here why?"

"I know, I know, I know, ok perhaps they won the FA Cup in 1970 or
something does it really matter?"

"look, Kaka, we will treble whatever you are on now, buy you a mansion
in Alderley Edge and give you a helicopter for your front lawn....are
you joining us?"

"NO!, its owned by the council - what has the ground got to do with
anything"

"well, officially its the city of manchester stadium but most people
call it Eastlands"

"EAST!, not Waste"

"You will be adored there"

"No, not there, here I meant"

"No, thats Old Trafford, I meant adored here at Waste....erm, Eastlands"


"Anderson??? what does he know?"

"Ok I hear what you say, but other than Pride, Ambition, Achievement,
History, Passion and a large car park - what can they offer you?"

"what do you mean no credit left in your phone.....I phoned you"

"Hello, Mr Kaka,...... Mr Kaka are you
there?............................

Probably won't do any good but I have sent an e-mail to my local MP requesting that action is taken against those UK Bank Officials that over the last 18 months have mislead the markets by either failing to declare or/and under declaring their level of know Toxic Debt and full write downs. For example I recall that over the last 18 months RBS released several RNS's stating their Toxic Debt write downs. Each time stating that the figures given were the totals known. One of these was to justify a rights issue. These officials broken the rules of both the FSA and the LSE.
Confidence in both the banking system and the rule of law will not start to improve till these (overpaid for failure) officials receive their just deserts. I appreciate that all this occurred on this governments (GB's) watch and started on TB's, but as we all know the government is immune from basically anything they wish to be immune to, but at least if we see some sort of punishment metered out to the muppets that ran/run the banks it may just boost confidence that it will not occur again, (until memories fade that is).
There appears to be a gathering clarion call for legal action to be taken. If we all add our voice to his call, you never know action might just be taken. As we know the government is always looking for scape goats. In this instance I hope they find them.

The government will find the goats by looking in the mirror. That is where the credit bubble came from. The borrow and spend mentality came from them and as a result from the institutional shareholders who wanted the banks to lend and collect the interest. Anyone with sense could see the huge bubble and forsee the bust. That is why I sold almost all my stockmarket investments in June/July 2007 and have only started to make very small investments this month in small cap companies where the share price has really gone to the floor.

Fully agree re the looking in the mirror comment. The main criminals in all this are the government who allowed all these shenanigan's to go on. Problem is the only thing we can do is vote them out at election time.
The reason I want justice via prosecution of the aforementioned bank officials is because they have clearly broken the rules.
To put it bluntly I want someone to pay and the chances of the most guilty, (the government) being bought to heel is very slim in deed.
If Gordon Brown had any morality left, he would call an election and let the people decide.
Of course in this country the morality/honour of politicians is about on a level with their democratic standing.

One would argue that the credit bubble was created by the Maggon.
Twas she who introduced and made very profitable right to buy, which was, for many, tantamount to offering huge debts to those who could least afford it.
Twas her watch which saw the "loadsamoney" generation who forced prices to a ridiculously high level for property and instilled the idea that anyone in any trade had the right to be a multi millionaire.
To claim these things are the product of the last decade is a little forgetful.
Alan

Now! here's a thought . . . .

If you are ready for the adventure of a lifetime, try this:

a.. Go to Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq illegally. Never mind immigration quotas, visas, international law, or any of that nonsense. Just show up

b.. Once there, demand that the local government provide free medical care for you and your entire family.

c.. Demand bilingual nurses and doctors...

d. Demand free bilingual local government forms, bulletins, etc.

e.. Procreate abundantly.

f.. Deflect any criticism of this allegedly irresponsible reproductive behaviour with, 'It is a cultural thing; you wouldn't understand.'

g.. Keep your original identity strong. Fly your national flag from your rooftop, or proudly display it in your front window, or on your car bumper.

h.. Speak only English at home and in public, and make sure that your children do likewise.

i.. Demand classes on English culture in the Muslim school system.

j.. Demand a local country driver license or national insurance number equivalent

k.. This will afford other legal rights and will go far to legitimize your unauthorised, illegal, presence in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq

l.. Drive around with no MOT, tax or insurance and ignore local traffic laws.

m.. Insist that local country law enforcement teaches English to all its officers..

n.. Organize protest marches against your host country, inciting violence against non-white, non-Christians, and the government that let you in.

o.. Insist that no trappings of Islam are allowed is schools or places of work as they offend you, but insist that you and your children are allowed to wear crosses at all times.

Good luck! You'll soon be dead.

It would never happen in Pakistan, Afghanistan or Iraq (or any other country in the world for that matter) except in the UK, US, or Canada, because we are run by soft, politically correct politicians that are too scared to 'offend' anyone.

This is me.

Spot on with every sad word being true. The UK must be the softest touch country in the world. I have though that for many years that our once proud country has been sold down the river. National identity destroyed, countryside, villages disappearing, along with our very way of life. I appreciate that there will always be change but it is obvious that if we go along the lines we are on now, our country will be completely unrecognisable within a very short time.

My 16 year old daughter has come home with 2 bits of homework in the last 2 weeks in her PSRE class. (Personal, Social & Religious Education).
The first was to design a web campaign for Muslim Aid charity. No choice over which charity or religion, and when she questioned this she was branded a bigot!!
The next was to prepare for a class debate on anti-semitism. The strange thing is, they were told that neither side could support the motion that anti-semitism does not exist as this would be wrong. So what are they debating exactly????
Her friend proposed he take the view that it is exagerrated, and the numbers of jews persecuted and killed by Hitler was in fact smaller than the current estimates and these were artificially inflated in order to appease the world when creating Israel.
He never said this was his belief, he was merely debating, and creating a well thought out debate in a class of hoodies and chavs. Good lad. WhaT you say is wrong, but one side of any debate always is. At least you have thought about it and come up with a plausible and acceptable arguement.
No. He was sent to the headmaster to explain his neo-nazi views and subsequently suspended for denying the holocaust.
Education? No. This is brainwashing into the ideals and beliefs of a bunch of vegetarian social workers, with nothing to do but interfere with our lives and insist our food is unleaded and our petrol free range.

Hi Alan,

Brainwashing exactly. You used the term chavs. Several years ago I attended a cultural diversity course that was so one sided as to be useless. Part of the course was on Gypsies. We were told you should not refer to them as Gypsies as some might prefer the term travellers. I said the term Gypo's and Chavs covered them all. I was told such terms were derogatory. So when I said, "So the term a group of Thieving B*****d's is out then", I was for some reason reprimanded. By the way, I also failed the course. Never quite figured out why.

If you want to see how your council wastes money on self publicity, telling you how good they are go to http://www.taxpayersalliance.com/files/csu2-publicity.pdf.

I am a member of the alliance which is free to join. They just ask for donations, which are completely voluntary. You may have heard of this organisation which is becoming an increasingly loud voice for the tax payer.
They are becoming more influential in political life.

Next best thing to a revolution.

Greekman

The TPA seem to do a good job keeping us informed but they don't seem to have enough exposure to the masses. Maybe the masses are simply ignorant to what goes on.

I favour all out revolution. Anyone got time to start one?

Alan, what you posted sickened me. It is a reason I keep considering leaving the UK. But what would that solve!

Rawdm,

I agree, but the more that join the TPA the more voice the will have.

How about this for hypocrisy.

The FSA (presumably because of government pressure) are to get tough on banking regulations.
Part of this toughness is that Special investment vehicles and other tools to move assets off the balance sheet and free up capital would no longer escape regulatory scrutiny.

As this government has moved several items off the balance sheet, including the PFI system, which the Government uses to deliver hospitals, schools and roads, are 25 billion, while Network Rail's debts are 18 billion this is a glaring piece of hypocrisy.
I would like to know just how much this off sheet amount (a bit like hidden debt really, but not the toxic kind) totals to. I bet it is far more than those figure previously mentioned.
One law/rule for some, but not all springs to mind.
Is there no end to this corrupt government.

Greekman - if you want a wry smile at PFI etc - watch last night's BREMNER, BIRD AND FORTUNE on more4 21:00

Skinny,

Very funny, a great sketch from these 2 clever performers.
For their best sketch and what I think is one of the funniest and cleverest ever seen, try http://uk.youtube.com/watch?v=mzJmTCYmo9g
It is their sub prime sketch.
Been posted on here before but well worth a reminder.

Yes I've watched several times - I just hope Brown and co tune in :-).

Problem is if GB watched it he would probably believe it was a serious programme like Panorama. When he gave his slip of the tongue, 'when we have saved the world' speech, it became obvious he has no sense of humour, or the communicating skills to make light of it.

You mean it wasn't a serious programme!

OK I give in. My brain hurts.

Keep it quiet...........a bit of insider information here.

Pedigree Chum are in financial difficulties. They have called in th retrievers............