Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Not to mention the ones that have been convicted
of crimes and still retain their seats.

Yes unbelievable that you can be a convicted criminal and still retain your seat but if you are an undischarged bankrupt you can't. Presumably there is no shame in having a criminal record (probably because many of them have such a record) but there is shame in being an undischarged bankrupt.
But there again, I thought such members are totally bereft of shame as well as honour.

Are you intending to stand for parliament in the next election on the 'Honest John' ticket?

T_i_m. I don't think anyone with integrity would stand a chance in the zoo of politics. I know of 3 independent councillors (different councils) who have thrown in the towels due to the underhand ways and dodgy dealing going on in local government. They could not take the pressure trying to do the right thing and it wasn't worth the risks to their health. It is unfortunate that many civil servants (even the lowly local government ones) have become too powerful and ride roughshod over the elected members.

Democracy, what Democracy!

Hi This is me,

Totally agree with Rawdm's comments. If you remember the yes minister/prime minister series character Jim Hacker. He went into politics intending to be honest and straight with the electorate (how nieve can you get) but because of the other members of parliament and the Civil Servants found it impossible.

I used to think his character was too much of a bumbling idiot to become an MP never mind reaching the dizzy heights of PM, but seeing the current lot perform he is at least on the IQ scale of Blackadder to Gordon Browns (I have a cunning plan) Baldrick.

Interesting. Watch the fur fly.

Do we need a second house?

If we have one, I would like to see it democratically elected.

Who would be the electors to this body of upright individuals?

Perhaps, the present day lower house, the electorate who normally vote for members of the House of Commons, or a special body consisting of the Great and Noble. (The likes of Blair and Cameron. God help us. However, I would need a God.)

Would the nominated be allowed to have links with education, business, industry, arts, politics, trade unions, religious or pressure groups, the media or have wealth above a certain figure?
Would they be allowed to have had past links or to form new links with any of the above?

Would they have to declare all their worldly possessions before and after service?
Would they have to declare all present earnings and sources at time of nomination and during and after they have served.?

Would their payments (pocket money) be related to the average monthly income or perhaps the minimum wages?



Other than me, who else would stand for election?


What would be the cost of policing such a group?


Just asking.

I think an elected second house is necessary, but it should be full timers with the right to review legislation and return it to the lower house for second or third readings, but will it be any less corrupt I really do doubt.


A certain amount of corruption is built in to a democracy. The corruption may be known or unknown by the perpetrators.

I think I should sign this Cynic.

"A country gets the government that it deserves"

The problem is that the government is just a reflection of the way society is at present. No society has ever been that close to perfection but ours is a lot worse than it was and getting steadily worse.

In which aspects?

My Mate Trev might stand for election.

Depends if he could claim beer and pork scratchings as allowable expenses.

You mean, no change!

It was beaters day on Saturday!

This is me,

I think it is more a case of The government getting the country they deserve.
No one deserves a plonker like GB or his rag tag army of muppets.

Which one or two of the above statements are correct?

Hi Fred,

Both. The government deserve the country (in the state it is in) and none of us deserve GB and his cronies. But I do get your point.

Told Trev that he could claim pork scratchings and beer as allowable expenses if he were an MP.
Within 4 minutes he had scribbled out his manifesto to solve the world problems on the adverts page of Escort. He wanted to call it saving the world, but I told him Gordon Brown had taken that one, so he called it passport to prosperity.
Below is the whole of it, in full.

Today there are 6 major problems facing the world. Health, crime, education , oil shortages, climate change and everyone being short of a few quid.
My manifesto is simple and clear and addresses all 6 in a way we can all understand and support.
Firstly financial.
I would make it illegal to be Alisdair Darling. It may not help but it will win a few votes.
I would firstly get people spending again by subsidising essentials such as beer and cigs and make up for it by taxing to the hilt luxeries like soap and toothpaste.
Rather than have a chancellor, I would have the problems addressed by a panel who would each give their solution on live TV, and then let the public vote on it at a pound a minute. In the event of a tie, Simon Cowell and that Cole woman could decide. The show would be called "Britains got debt".
I would call in all the currency and replace it with lead money. This should make it much heavier and solve our balance of payments at a stroke.
All banks would be summoned to number 10. They would be held in a meeting till they promised to give money away. The meeting would be chaired by Ant & Dec, so we have pencilled in 15 minutes for it. I think that is a bit generous, but you never know.
To raise tax revenue, HMRC will be governed jointly by Lenny Henry and Bob Geldof as they have prised more money out of the public and corporations over the years than the taxman has, and are a lot cheaper.
Right, thats the money sorted, now for the other bits.

Health.
The major problem is obesity. The average westerner is 4 stones overweight. This is easily rectified and we can reduce that average figure by 92% by nuking the USA, which will get rid of tonnes of useless fat and some very dodgy hairstyles as a bonus.

Crime.
Nuking the USA will stop massive amounts of crime, too. From petty crime up to International crime.

Education.
Sounds a bit one way here, but nuking the USA will lift average intelligence and IQ a fair bit. Citizens of the USA have an IQ somewhere between a cuttlefish and a linedancer.

Oil Shortages and climate change.
Scientists disagree over the effects of climate change in the UK. We will either freeze as the gulf stream switches off, roast as we become hot and arid or drown as sea levels rise.
Fantastic.
A bit of research shows that all the oil is either in deserts, under the sea, or frozen wastelands like Alaska, so let climate change commence and we will all have shedfulls of oil. Both problems solved.

Oh, and nuke the USA cos they use all the oil anyway.

On defence, pull all our troops out of everywhere and use sattelite technology instead. Beam direct to our enemies old repeats of Loose Women and Jamie Oliver. Surrender is assured.

Vote Trev. For a passport to prosperity (and no Yanks).

Morning Alan,

Glad to hear Trev is still alive and on form. As we have not heard from him for a while (I know he is really your alta ego) I have been checking the obituaries in the Times and Daily Telegraph. I realised a few weeks ago that checking these publications was really silly as you (sorry Trev) being regular readers of either The Sun, The Daily Worker, Communist Weekly or if you are feeling very intellectual NUTS, would no doubt appear in these publications, (had a sudden horrible image of Trev as a Nuts center fold).
As I understand Trev only got a B+ in geography the problem with Trev wanting to Nuke the USA in his manifesto, is does he know where the USA is. Knowing his background of ballsing everything up, which although obviously inconvenient is as we know not an obstacle to leading the country, he could accidentally nuke several EU countries instead. Mind you that may not be such a bad idea.

By the way, I hope if Trev ever does get into power, he sets a good example of 'Backing Britain' by only taking cash for questions/lobbying on behalf of British Companies and of course only eating Pork Scratching from home reared pigs.

I have seen many examples within this last financial crisis of brokers recommendations. These organisations are paid big money for their opinions. It just goes to show how in these markets reading tea leaves, ouija board or just sticking a pin in the share pages can prove just as accurate.

03-Feb-09 BP. Collins Stewart Sell
03-Feb-09 BP. Seymour Pierce Outperform

03-Feb-09 Carpetright CPR Panmure Gordon Sell
03-Feb-09 Carpetright CPR Seymour Pierce Buy
03-Feb-09 Carpetright CPR KBC Peel Hunt Hold

So one of them will be right.

Following HM decision to stop selling Gollywogs through her chain of discount off licenses after the Carol Thatcher episode, many other trades are now following suite.

Hamleys has removed from sale the glove puppets known as Sooty & Sweep.

The Cat Fanciers Council has banned the breed Maine Coon from its register

Working Mens Clubs and pubs are now unable to sell Rum & Black

There will be no more Minstrels from Nestle, in case anyone gets confused with the 1970s TV show.

R Whites Lemonade has been summoned to a trial in Islington.

There will, doubtless be more that you lot have heard of.

Meanwhile, a very dear African friend of mine was discussing the nonsense with me yesterday. His comment?

"If my ancestors had known the trouble they were going to cause, they would have let you pick your own f...ing cotton".

Good argument......well made.

Now you see the Royal Gollies...



Now you don't...

So going out for a chinky (which whenever used in that context was never in any way derogatory) is out of the question then.
Suppose I will have to be content with a Ruby Murray in future.
The political correct brigade really wind me up. Still mustn't get in a 'Paddy'