Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

As my Dad's family are true Londoners (born within the sound of Bow Bells) I was bought up on cockney rhyming slang. I think it is very rich in meaning. I also love the different dialects of our country. I have worked with people from all areas of the UK and many from different countries,/cultures. Language is in my opinion one of the greatest differences we as human beings have. What a boring world it would be if we all sounded the same.
Some languages I like better than others, but I suppose even a comment like that will be classed by the thought Police as racist.
I appreciate that us up ere in Yorkshire are the only people who talk propa like, but we dunt old it agenst yer.

I like to hear most of the UK's accents being spoken. That is until they are really very, very heavy and so very dislikeable, that only those very, very local to the accent being spoken, can understand what is being said.

One of the best examples of a dislikeable accent, IMHO, is the strong 'Leeds' accent. Being a Yorkshireman, you'll most probably know and have encountered the one I mean?

Which subject reminds me how Sky Customer Services seems to be located somewhere on the outskirts of Glasgow. This is not a sensible move, IMHO. If I have a problem and ring them, I cannot understand what they are telling me. It might actually be an '0870 scam' instead of a CS facility, for all I know?

And we all despise having to ring the CS of our bank. Why? Well, we usually end up speaking to a person with an Indian accent.

I think it is this dislike of someone 'foreign', being someone who can most probably be cursing at us in his own local dialect, for all we know, that creates an instinctive negative suspicion in our minds about ALL people who are 'foreign'. Additionally, they do not have any instantly recogniseable potential for 'rapport' with us.

It isn't until you begin to travel round the world and meet lots of foreign people for yourself, that you begin to educate yourself that there is really nothing to fear when someone is 'black' or foreign'. Thus once you have done all this for yourself, you can easily accept that those who exhibit such racist phobias are actually just stupid and ignorant and probably insular and poorly travelled to boot.

However, if you run a marketing or sales team, then it still is not a good idea to recruit people into it if they have a really deep and strong local accent or speak with a strong local dialect. They will usually just end up having the poor rapport, I have just mentioned, with your potential customers or potential clients.

Hmmm? Ah well. I think I'm on a ramble.

Meanwhile, back at the ranch, I see a two-eyed English idiot is in deep doodoo for calling someone else a 'one-eyed Scottish idiot'.

Good timing or what?

And guess what. He has instantly apologised. So we can instantly forgive him as can his employer. So he won't lose his job.

Aha! You are all a load of idiots.

I am so sorry. I do immediately apologise for saying that.

So that's alright then, eh?

Researchers have calculated that up to 37,964 worlds in our galaxy are hospitable enough to be home to creatures at least as intelligent as ourselves.

Astrophysicist Duncan Forgan created a computer programme that collated all the data on the 330 or so planets known to man and worked out what proportion would have conditions suitable for life.

The estimate, which took into account factors such as temperature and availability of water and minerals, was then extrapolated across the Milky Way.

Mr Forgan believes that the life forms would not be amoeba wriggling on the end of a microscope but species at least as advanced as humans.

Mr Forgan, who believes it will take 300 to 400 years for us to make contact with our neighbours, said: "I believe the estimate of 361 intelligent civilisations to be the most accurate.

"These would certainly be the most Earth-like civilisations but the bigger figures are certainly possible. We can't rule them out.

"Most of the other planets we have looked at are older than our own so I would expect to see more advanced civilisations than ours existing."

Hmmm? 361, eh?

When I worked it out, I got a result of 360.4

Damn! I obviously should have rounded it up, not down!

Yes. It does make sense that 0.4 of a planet might actually just be a really small planet not just no planet at all.

Damn!

More at http://www.telegraph.co.uk/scienceandtechnology/science/space/4521885/40000-planets-could-be-home-to-aliens.html

Re ths apology from Clarkson
I understand that he apologises for saying one eyed, that leaves him not apologising for the term Scottish idiot. This was followed by a Scottish MP suggesting Clarkson apologise for the term Scottish....... that still leaves us with the word idiot, and nobody seems to be calling for any apology for this, not even the French President.

Re Intelligent life. I think Patrick Moore had it right. When asked if there could be intelligent life in our Solar system he said he wasn't sure...and then added: "Some say there is intelligent life on Earth - but I'm not certain about that!"

I Love the Scottish MP asking for an apology for calling GB Scottish!!

By implication this means that Mr MSP believes it to be an insult, ergo he believes the Scottish are somehow inferior.

Time for Mr MSP to apologise for his blatent racism and resign his post.

Alan,

Just goes to show how things can be interpreted.

Over the weekend it was reported that Gordon Brown and his marionette Alistair Darling (although by his expression sometimes I think he is more likely that GB is controlling him as a glove puppet, with cold hands and sharp nails) declared their disgust at the proposed bonus payments to the banks hierarchy. They said that 'No one should be rewarded for failure'. Whilst I agree, I am sure that we would like to see the same criteria apply to themselves.
Oh, I forgot, they have gone on record as saying, none of this is their fault, so better not blame them eh.

Executives and staff of the Financial Services Authority, the chief City regulator, are in line for up to 33 million of bonuses and pay top-ups this year. The FSA, which has been severely criticised for not doing enough to anticipate the banking crisis, said that it needed to introduce a new reward strategy to improve the performance of its 2,800 employees, reports the Times.

Major banks will see their annual payment to the Financial Services Authority (FSA) soar by more than 100pc, with some paying 20m in fees, as the regulator clamps down on financial institutions in the wake of the global banking crisis, according to the Telegraph.



"it needed to introduce a new reward strategy to improve the performance of its 2,800 employees"

How about another, obviously to them completely novel, way of doing things? How about saying to the staff, "if you don't do your jobs the only thing you are going to get is the sack"?!

Gordon Brown and Co have stated that they are going to look into the bonus culture. Great so what are they going to do about this then.
A leaked internal memo from a banking group goes something like this, 'As the term bonus is no longer looked on as favourable in certain quarters, the term will no longer be used. A bonus will no longer be referred to as a bonus. Any future 'bonus' will be referred to as a retaining payment (retainer).
So there. Bet Gordon didn't see that one coming. Looks like this lot are ahead of GB's thinking. But there again who isn't.

When I look at a picture of Gordon Brown and Oliver Hardy it appears to me the within a couple of years GB will look a lot like OH, shame Stan Laurel and Alistair Darling don't look more alike.
A bit technophobic, so can anyone assist and post a picture of GB and OH alongside each other. Or is it just me who sees a likeness.

Seymour Clearly.

There is always one clever d**k around. But seriously, thanks.
Another question.... Who looks the most intelligent, GB or OH.
OH can find his tie, GB fumbled for his and missed.

I'm pleased to read Jade Goody has managed to secure 700,000 from 'OK Magazine' for an exclusive on her wedding. I'm also pleased to read Max Clifford is keeping his watchful eye on her. On this client, he does deserve a good fee, too. Although, I reckon he might easily forget to stick it in the post

Jade, who is a certainly a 'product of our times', has only just a few months, if not just weeks, left to live and this 'OK' deal money will go into a trust fund for her kids. And, damn it, for once and just for the sheer hell of it, I'm going to buy an OK Magazine in support of her and them. And I'm not going to give too much thought about doing it either.

Jade came from an utterly terrible background and had utterly terrible parents. As a result she has lots and lots of faults. However, I have seen in her not just a young woman who is a bit daft and a bit 'thick' but someone who can also be so happy, so open, so cheerful and positive, despite all her difficulties. I am not going to judge her at all and I'm just totally and absolutely going to forgive her for all of them.

When someone is left with only a very short time left to live the rest of their life and actually knows about it and has to deal with it and has some young kids to think about and look after too, well, it kind of crystallises the mind about what is important in life and what is not.

I hope she has a fantastic day and when I see her walk up the aisle in her wedding dress, I might just be touched enough to shed a tear for her too.

Yes, I feel sorry for her too....poor girl.....at least the money could go to her family !.

Maybe you should be saying, "the money WILL ONLY be going to her family kids".

That's the whole point of her going for the 'magazine deal marriage ceremony and all the trimmings". It earns 700,000 for her kids and provides for a better future for them than the one she had when she was a kid.

Hmmm? Can someone please lend me 99,000?

The powers that be are continually telling us that all is not doom and gloom. I like to think of myself as a realist with a very strong optimistic side (if the 2 statements can equate) but I readily admit to being very worried about the future of this country.
Corporal Jones in Dad's Army was continually telling everyone not to panic. Perhaps the time to panic is upon us.

Hmmm? Better make that 175,000

The time to panic is certainly upon us.

We give shelter and food to a guy who wants to blow up the non muslim world, starting with us, then when we do see sense and kick the bugger out, we give him two and a half grand for the inconvenience.

Am I the only one who thinks this is an act of sheer, outright stupidity.

I would have given him 2500 lbs. Not sterling (which is worthless anyway), but semtex and a very, very short fuse.

European court of Human rights--- blame Europe again!! Jackie Smith is terribly disappointed--yeah right! When are we going to take back our own decisions--we're all doomed I say. No wonder the market has sunk below 4000 today.

Hezza's dig at Jacqui Smith on question time was priceless.