Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Thawot, cantthaspakerate.

Sitthee, nay, thrice, by 'eck.
Bin fair tippin it ower, darn by t'beck, wile a'v bin tuppin yon lambs.
An I ears as its wetter an a vicars 'andshake ova Sids muthas.
Still, manys a mickle as meks a muckle, eh?
An mines a pint if thas askin.

Sithi, now three,
Bin fertipin itordan ut streem, (athink almisthisbitart !).
AnIheers,asissweter an avicrs anshek. ove'Sidsmuthu.
Stil, tha needs sum t meksum, e?
Antha canawon ifaevasithi

(justa difrent vilig)

Alan,

Why is it that every time we other posters try to have a grown up diplomatic discussion you have to redirect it to sex.
Also the mention of tuppin lambs, shows us in a bad light. There is (as we Yorkshiremen know) nothing wrong re the wellies and a full grown sheep, something that other lot can't appreciate, but young innocent lambs, well really. They will start to think we are depraved and have no standards.

I didn't know it was a lamb.

She told me she was a sheep, honest.

You know what its like when they get a bit of make up on........................

Never trust a sheep Alan, you know you'll get fleeced.

Is this clip for real?



You can watch this to the tune of:

I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
A boa constrictor,
I'm being eaten by a boa constrictor,
And I don't like it
One bit.
Oh, woe,
He's up to my toe.
Oh, gee,
He's up to my knee.
Oh, my,
He's up to my thigh.
Oh, flip,
He's up to my hip.
Oh, fiddle,
He's up to my middle.
Oh, heck,
He's up to my neck.
Oh, dread,
He's up to mmmpffff.....

Of course its not real.
The girls obviously a fake.

I like a snake that swallows.

I have a clip of a girl swallowing my snake. No I'm not going to post it as it (the clip) was banned by the RSPCA.

Yes I know what you dirty minded lot were thinking.

I was thinking that exec was confused.

Its not a Boa, its an African Rock Python.

Who'd have thought that Pythons had evolved so much they played heavy metal guitar?

You obviously haven't seen their fangzine then Alan!

'Brown lukewarm on alcohol pricing

Sir Liam's report said a 50p minimum price for a unit of alcohol would mean a standard bottle of wine could not be sold for less than 4.50, a two litre bottle of cider for 5.50, and the average six pack of lager for 6.00.

Sir Liam Donaldson defends his recommendations'
The Chief Medical Officer estimated the measure would add around 1 a month to the drinks bill of a moderate drinker'

The cheapest wine I could find online was 1.60 per bottle. Presumably, at say 9 units, it would go up to 4.50 - a rise of 2.90, or 32.22p per unit. Yet this fool Sir Liam Donaldson says only 1 per month would be added to the bill of a 'moderate drinker'! I calculate that to mean a 'moderate drinker' is some one who drinks about 3 units per month!

Another example of someone trying to save this planet while living on a completely different one! It makes me blood boil!

If you've found wine for 1.60 a bottle and it is actually wine and tastes like wine I'll be amazed.

Yet another barmy idea from a government body. Under the proposed rules the price of a pack of 4 bottles of Real Ale would increase by an average of 65p (Badger Ale was given as an example).
I just wonder how many of our trouble causing drunks, alcoholics and/or the heavy drinkers are aficionados of real beers/ales.
As a moderate drinker who's favourite tipple is Real Ale, I for one will be paying more for my drink, each week.

We are constantly being told what to eat and drink.
Advice might work, instruction never.
Look at the failed attempt at prohibition in the USA.

As a footnote....Next time you watch Prime Ministers question time, just see how many overweight, unhealthy looking politicians there are in the house.
Also no doubt at the end of each parliamentary session, they will all retire to the subsidised bars and restaurants filling their fat greedy faces with quantum amounts of food washed down by gallons of booze.
Then on arriving home (either their own or a tax payers subsidised one) they will open another bottle, presumably not a cheap Tesco type of Cider or a 4 pack of Asda's own label Lager, and raise a glass to yet another tax raising scam.

Booze has never made me violent or abusive (on the odd occasion when I have had one over the eight, which is rare I cuddle and sing to lampposts). But if the government do up the price of my Badger Beer, I might just get nasty.

Leave my beer alone.

Kayak - it was a 'special' offer at Asda, 6 bottle for 9.60. You try it first, if you survive I'll have some!

Hope they leave my meths alone..................

For once I have to admire the Government. They drive us to drink, then put the price up. A masterstroke!

From http://www.petrolprices.com/blog/...

18.03.09 Duty rise set to bring fuel tax to 71% in 2 weeks

Has the Budget been postponed to push through a fuel duty rise unchallenged?

In just 2 weeks fuel duty will rise again, bringing the total tax paid at the pumps to 71 pence in every pound - despite Prime Minister Gordon Brown promising not to raise fuel duty.

Watch Brown pledge to freeze fuel duty. (1.40m - 2.02m)

Fuel duty is set to rise by roughly 2 pence per litre on April 1st meaning that 66 pence of the average litre of fuel goes directly to the Treasury.

Fuel tax goes into a central government tax pot. It's not necessarily allocated back out to motoring, so fuel tax can be spent on anything the NHS, housing, pensions or even banking bailouts.

At the height of soaring pump prices Brown made a promise during Prime Minister's Questions on July 16th 2008 not to raise fuel duty for a year.

He stated: "In recognition of the problem people face with petrol, we are freezing duty on petrol for the full year."

Brown broke this promise in December 2008 when he added 2 pence per litre to fuel duty to offset the reduction of VAT to 15% - a move which angered UK hauliers who are able to claim fuel VAT back, but not fuel duty.

He is set to break the promise for a second time on April 1st when fuel duty on unleaded and diesel will rise 1.84 pence per litre. Including the additional 15% VAT on top this will make the rise at the pumps around 2 pence per litre.

The Treasury have said that the only time further changes to fuel duty can take place are at the next Budget which has been postponed from March until April 22nd, after the duty rise comes in.

Do you think the Budget has been postponed to push through a duty rise unchallenged? Do you think it's fair that 71% of the cost of a litre of fuel goes directly to the Treasury? Should Brown be held to account for breaking his promise not to raise fuel duty?

The petrolprices.com web site at the link above is well worth a visit to read some of the many comments, which have already been posted. I notice there are already 1838 of them as I type this and the comment from the blog only came out earlier today.

edit: Sorry, 1860 posts. They seem to happening at the rate of about 30 per minute!

What amazing response, eh?

This government is morally as well as practically corrupt.

Gordon Brown and many others in government (and politics as a whole) are out and out liars.
Whilst I appreciate politicians have always been short on truth, I am sure those who ruled us in the not to distant past, would be ashamed of of just how low in terms of honesty/morality our leaders have sunk.
Over the last 12 years the Labour Government has done more harm to this country than any other Government for at least a 100 years.
In just about every area, they have ruined our way of life.
Everything, Immigration, Crime, Education, Finance, Health etc has gone from bad to worse, no matter how much spin they put on things.
I know of many people like myself who have had enough. Although I like to think of myself as law abiding, I feel that subversion is just around the corner, and I can see myself being pushed into such (hopefully as peacefully as such protests can possibly be) action, due to this governments attitude.

I believe in democracy as I am sure the vast majority do, but once democracy is dead what else is there.
I'm not saying that democracy is totally dead in this country, especially when the UK is compared with several other countries.
BUT democracy does not die suddenly, but by stealth.

People will only be pushed so far. Our so called rulers are heading for a disaster of their own making.

No wonder parties such as the BNP are fast gaining ground. Although I have little sympathies with their policies, I like many more will be looking for ways to hurt this government via the ballot box. Many people will be looking for a protest vote.

I am amazed that people have not already taken to the streets in mass protests.

History is one of the best lessons of what happens when power corrupts.

Eventually it only takes one extra spark to light the fire.
How much more are we going to meekly accept.

I truthfully fear for my children and grandchildren's futures, more than my own.