Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

I like a snake that swallows.

I have a clip of a girl swallowing my snake. No I'm not going to post it as it (the clip) was banned by the RSPCA.

Yes I know what you dirty minded lot were thinking.

I was thinking that exec was confused.

Its not a Boa, its an African Rock Python.

Who'd have thought that Pythons had evolved so much they played heavy metal guitar?

You obviously haven't seen their fangzine then Alan!

'Brown lukewarm on alcohol pricing

Sir Liam's report said a 50p minimum price for a unit of alcohol would mean a standard bottle of wine could not be sold for less than 4.50, a two litre bottle of cider for 5.50, and the average six pack of lager for 6.00.

Sir Liam Donaldson defends his recommendations'
The Chief Medical Officer estimated the measure would add around 1 a month to the drinks bill of a moderate drinker'

The cheapest wine I could find online was 1.60 per bottle. Presumably, at say 9 units, it would go up to 4.50 - a rise of 2.90, or 32.22p per unit. Yet this fool Sir Liam Donaldson says only 1 per month would be added to the bill of a 'moderate drinker'! I calculate that to mean a 'moderate drinker' is some one who drinks about 3 units per month!

Another example of someone trying to save this planet while living on a completely different one! It makes me blood boil!

If you've found wine for 1.60 a bottle and it is actually wine and tastes like wine I'll be amazed.

Yet another barmy idea from a government body. Under the proposed rules the price of a pack of 4 bottles of Real Ale would increase by an average of 65p (Badger Ale was given as an example).
I just wonder how many of our trouble causing drunks, alcoholics and/or the heavy drinkers are aficionados of real beers/ales.
As a moderate drinker who's favourite tipple is Real Ale, I for one will be paying more for my drink, each week.

We are constantly being told what to eat and drink.
Advice might work, instruction never.
Look at the failed attempt at prohibition in the USA.

As a footnote....Next time you watch Prime Ministers question time, just see how many overweight, unhealthy looking politicians there are in the house.
Also no doubt at the end of each parliamentary session, they will all retire to the subsidised bars and restaurants filling their fat greedy faces with quantum amounts of food washed down by gallons of booze.
Then on arriving home (either their own or a tax payers subsidised one) they will open another bottle, presumably not a cheap Tesco type of Cider or a 4 pack of Asda's own label Lager, and raise a glass to yet another tax raising scam.

Booze has never made me violent or abusive (on the odd occasion when I have had one over the eight, which is rare I cuddle and sing to lampposts). But if the government do up the price of my Badger Beer, I might just get nasty.

Leave my beer alone.

Kayak - it was a 'special' offer at Asda, 6 bottle for 9.60. You try it first, if you survive I'll have some!

Hope they leave my meths alone..................

For once I have to admire the Government. They drive us to drink, then put the price up. A masterstroke!

From http://www.petrolprices.com/blog/...

18.03.09 Duty rise set to bring fuel tax to 71% in 2 weeks

Has the Budget been postponed to push through a fuel duty rise unchallenged?

In just 2 weeks fuel duty will rise again, bringing the total tax paid at the pumps to 71 pence in every pound - despite Prime Minister Gordon Brown promising not to raise fuel duty.

Watch Brown pledge to freeze fuel duty. (1.40m - 2.02m)

Fuel duty is set to rise by roughly 2 pence per litre on April 1st meaning that 66 pence of the average litre of fuel goes directly to the Treasury.

Fuel tax goes into a central government tax pot. It's not necessarily allocated back out to motoring, so fuel tax can be spent on anything the NHS, housing, pensions or even banking bailouts.

At the height of soaring pump prices Brown made a promise during Prime Minister's Questions on July 16th 2008 not to raise fuel duty for a year.

He stated: "In recognition of the problem people face with petrol, we are freezing duty on petrol for the full year."

Brown broke this promise in December 2008 when he added 2 pence per litre to fuel duty to offset the reduction of VAT to 15% - a move which angered UK hauliers who are able to claim fuel VAT back, but not fuel duty.

He is set to break the promise for a second time on April 1st when fuel duty on unleaded and diesel will rise 1.84 pence per litre. Including the additional 15% VAT on top this will make the rise at the pumps around 2 pence per litre.

The Treasury have said that the only time further changes to fuel duty can take place are at the next Budget which has been postponed from March until April 22nd, after the duty rise comes in.

Do you think the Budget has been postponed to push through a duty rise unchallenged? Do you think it's fair that 71% of the cost of a litre of fuel goes directly to the Treasury? Should Brown be held to account for breaking his promise not to raise fuel duty?

The petrolprices.com web site at the link above is well worth a visit to read some of the many comments, which have already been posted. I notice there are already 1838 of them as I type this and the comment from the blog only came out earlier today.

edit: Sorry, 1860 posts. They seem to happening at the rate of about 30 per minute!

What amazing response, eh?

This government is morally as well as practically corrupt.

Gordon Brown and many others in government (and politics as a whole) are out and out liars.
Whilst I appreciate politicians have always been short on truth, I am sure those who ruled us in the not to distant past, would be ashamed of of just how low in terms of honesty/morality our leaders have sunk.
Over the last 12 years the Labour Government has done more harm to this country than any other Government for at least a 100 years.
In just about every area, they have ruined our way of life.
Everything, Immigration, Crime, Education, Finance, Health etc has gone from bad to worse, no matter how much spin they put on things.
I know of many people like myself who have had enough. Although I like to think of myself as law abiding, I feel that subversion is just around the corner, and I can see myself being pushed into such (hopefully as peacefully as such protests can possibly be) action, due to this governments attitude.

I believe in democracy as I am sure the vast majority do, but once democracy is dead what else is there.
I'm not saying that democracy is totally dead in this country, especially when the UK is compared with several other countries.
BUT democracy does not die suddenly, but by stealth.

People will only be pushed so far. Our so called rulers are heading for a disaster of their own making.

No wonder parties such as the BNP are fast gaining ground. Although I have little sympathies with their policies, I like many more will be looking for ways to hurt this government via the ballot box. Many people will be looking for a protest vote.

I am amazed that people have not already taken to the streets in mass protests.

History is one of the best lessons of what happens when power corrupts.

Eventually it only takes one extra spark to light the fire.
How much more are we going to meekly accept.

I truthfully fear for my children and grandchildren's futures, more than my own.

From todays Telegraph,

Whoops.

The UK is spending 20,000,000,000 to replacement its fleet of Trident Submarines. According to the Public Accounts Committee, these will be finished before the USA's new version of the Trident Missile is completed.
These USA missiles are to be used to arm the new UK subs, but may not fit into the new subs missile tubes.
An MOD spokesman stated that steps are being taken to reduce the risk of the missiles not fitting (whatever that means). But the spokesman for the PAC Edward Leigh said even so there is no guarantee they will fit.

Missile=Rocket science this is not.
Have these muppets not heard of made to measure.
What a load of plonkers.

Caught up with Trev last night. He was sat outside the "Kebab & Claculator", our local.
Didn't recognise him at first due to the large broad straw hat and dark glasses, but I thought it was him when I saw he was drinking some watered down beer and eating a bag of pigs knuckles.
"Trev", says I, "Why are you wearing a straw hat with Lucy written on it"?
"They were throwing it out at the beach, and I needed one".
"Why do you need an old donkey hat, Trev". And indeed, there were two holes cut for the ears. I regretted the question when he put down a longer than usual dog end he was smoking that had been left in the ashtray, tilted his glasses and looked round furtively.
"Well, Alan. I gotta hide from Spanish Joe, cos hes gonna do things with me that only a doctor should do in extreme emergencies, so I'm dressed in wotsit".
"Fancy dress"?
"No. In wotsit. Cognito".
For those of you who haven't followed the further adventures of Trev (and why not?) Spanish Joe is the guy who lives in the apartment penthouse above Trev. When I say above, I mean that Trev sleeps in that buildings doorway. He says its the cleanest and driest doorway in the city, on account of him never having a pee in it on his way home from the pub.
Spanish Joe describes himself as a dealer in leisure activities, which means he flogs stolen car radios, loose women and a white powder that is 10% illegal and 90% Vim.
He also owns a collection of ears from people who have crossed him.

"Its that course I went on, Alan. I only went cos it had free tea and biccies and now I start crying if I see a knife or a bicycle pump."
"Trev, tell me more about it because I can't see how a course at the local poly leads to a fear of the bicycle pump".
"Cos Joe says hes gonna stick it right..."
"No. Not that bit. I know that bit. Hows it got you into trouble"?
"Get me a pint, Al and I'll tell you. I'd get it myself, but Big Julies behind the bar and she wants to hurt me with a pool cue".
"What for"?
"About thirteen quid".

I got the drinks and listened to his tale of woe.

It started when it was raining and someone told Trev they have a drop in course at the Poly that teaches basic internet to all. He wasn't interested until told that every 2 hours the tea and biscuit trolley comes and its free.
He went along and to show willing, asked what people do on the internet when the poly have blocked all the porn sites and was told that most people do a blog on MySpace or facebook.
Well Trev was nearly intrigued enough to miss his tea and biscuits, and set up his own page. He e-mailed everyone whos address he could find to invite them on to his page. In his own confused manner he sent a mail giving the link and saying "Come on my face, here".
He now has 86,793 friends, though all strangely male, and in keeping up with th replies, he was getting more and more tired.
Graham the stoat was down there getting his free tea and biscuits and he suggested a bit of speed. That night, Trev went to see Spanish and asked for a bit of speed on a tab. Spanish was a bit confused by this and anyway, he was out of drugs.
Trev had heard of internet shopping and deicided to try this bloke called Frank who advertises on telly and the internet.
He was disappointed to find that as much as he talked to Frank, he didn't have any either, so Trev said he'd put Frank in touch with Spanish Joe and they could try to find a new supplier together.
He passed Spanish address to Frank and thought he'd done his good deed for the day.

"Bloody internet", he said, "thats me, Glitter and Townend all in trouble through it, and all I wanted was a cup of tea and a bourbon".

So there is going to be yet another enquiry re the Government Minister Tony (greed b*****d) McNultys claim on his 2nd (sic) home.
He was heard to say by a reporter, 'Sometimes I feel so down from being bullied at work, by that nasty Gordon Brown, that I have to go home to my mummy and daddy for a cuddle. I also keep my teddies there'.

I am going to make a tour of the local bookies today to see what odds they will give me re him being found guilty of any corrupt practise.

No doubt the odds will be up there with Elvis being found alive.
Green men being found on Mars.
Gordon Brown winning the Nobel Prize for economics.
Alistair Darling winning, er anything.
OR...Trev winning Mastermind.

Anyone care to bet (pun intended) what odds I will get offered.
By the way I think Trev winning Mastermind is the favourite.

They could make a film of Alan's book (when he finishes it) "Trevdog Millionaire".

barclays online dealing & phone lines are in total meltdown.

Worth a look. The grilling of Gordon Brown. Bloody Excellent.
Would have loved to see how he replied.

http://ukhousebubble.blogspot.com/2009/03/devalued-prime-minister-of-devalued.html

Nice to be right sometimes.

A few months ago I mentioned that I expected investors to be looking a the Stock Markets again to make money, especially in the blue chip sector, mainly due to the low interest levels everywhere else.
I also mention that I thought the popular, so called 100% safe haven of Government Bonds would become a less safe investment due to the vast amounts being proposed by the government.
On reading todays Telegraph, I see that one of many proposed big auctions re these gilts has failed for the first time since 1995 to be fully taken up.
Fears are growing that the government may not be able to cover these gilts.
Obviously if an auction this early on in the list fails, then future auction prospects look poor.
Either the government will need to withdraw further bonds from auction (something they definitely can't do) or lower the price (something that will increase their direct debt).
You can't expect to flood the bond/guilt market and expect any other reaction that you would get from flooding any market. Surely that is basic economics.
They are quickly running out of get out clauses.
his makes the stock market taking in the risk/reward factor, although still of more risk than gilts, a much better bet.
All IMHO of course.

See Jamie Oliver make EU fudge.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5LHqpzjMTDY