Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

I wondered what that female chimp was doing in my bed after my last night out!

Don't tell Micheal Jackson, his monkey is cheating on him.
Ever tried the Funky Gibbon, (for those under 50, it's a dance) not a Kama Sutra position. But there again, perhaps not!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VCPrsTfKJBk

I think it's shocking that murdering, terrorist (sorry suspects filmed training in a Pakistan training camp, then caught armed in a war zone with firearms and bomb making equipment) have been put in an enclosed space with insects that they have a fear of.
Poor lambs. I think they should receive millions in compensation.

Worth a watch. (I make NO COMMENT)

http://www.emrupdate.com/forums/t/12816.aspx

So can these scientists now draw up an equation between a lack of mating and spanking the monkey?????
Something like l=libido, s=sex and m=monkey spanking. Therefore l/s=m2.

I think this could be more important and enlightening than e=mc2, and could explain why youths who spend all their money on computers and X-box games never get the girl.

Just saw this on a van on the way into work, and it makes me fearful for my daughters' liberty:

"Environmental Crime Scene Investigation Unit".

They leave their bedroom light on too often for my liking, and I think it's just a matter of time before they're found out.

They do say that humans counteracting with animals is good for you.
Not sure about spanking the monkey, but how about stroking the cat (think about it).

Just tried that Greek. Apparently it's outside my time limit. :o(

As always, the subject turns to sex.
I have found that experience does improve everything, specially sex. When I was younger and inexperienced the complete act could sometimes take as long as a couple of hours. Now days I can complete the whole act during the 10 minutes half time of a televised football match, including striping from being fully clothed, foreplay, intercourse, a quick cuddle, clothing back on and be back downstairs to make a cup of tea before the second half starts.
There is no substitute for experience.
Beat that.

Ha! You're getting old Greek, I never have the time to make a cup of tea.

What about the 2 hours of begging?

No problem. I love my wife so much she doesn't need to beg.

I don't go upstairs - saves a bit more time!

Depends how fast the stair lift is.

If we have enough time or the wife is still awake, we always do the foreplay afterwards.

During the footy replays after the match?!

Greekman - I've never tried it on a stair lift - will they take the weight?

Skinny,

Not sure as something creaked.

Talking about football and sex,

How come the last match I watched, Chelsea v Liverpool it took 90 minutes for 22 young virile men to score 4 times between them, (an average of 22.5 minutes) when it only took me, a virile older man 5 minutes to score once.
And I did not dribble before either, nor did I somersault round the bedroom after.

Please feel free to use your imagination.

My wife says I have no imagination.

So a stroke of luck there then! :o)

By the way, who do you think of when you are making love to your wife?

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/sun_says/article2346423.ece?slideshowPopup=true&articleId=2346423&nSlide=1

Peter Beardsley