Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Heard a rumour that al-magrahi, Ronnie Biggs and Ernest Saunders (him of the incurable Alzheimer's disease who was released on compassionate grounds in 1991 having served only 10 months of his sentence and is still living, why wasn't he recalled to prison), are having a get together in Spain at Ronnie's old villa.

The party will be attended by two Russian oligarchs and of course Peter Mandelson.

Now wouldn't that make a good story.

'Critical' teen left ward for pub

From News.BBC.co.uk
25 August 2009

A critically ill teenager being treated for liver failure after binge drinking left his hospital bed and went to the pub for a drink, it has been confirmed.

The father of Gareth Anderson, 19, is fighting to overturn NHS rules which mean his son has to be alcohol free for six months before a liver transplant. But at the same time, a publican confirmed Garath went to her pub last Wednesday looking for a pint. He was still in his slippers and with the needle from a drip in his hand.

Staff in the Old Moat Inn opposite the Ulster Hospital in Dundonald refused his order, alerted hospital staff who took him back.

The teenager from Newtownards, County Down, was transferred to Kings College Hospital in London on Friday and doctors have told his father, Brian, he may have as little as two weeks to live.

Mr Anderson Snr told the Press Association: "I don't know what he was thinking about, I don't think he knows."

He said, "I don't know why I did it, I just walked out and walked across to the pub'."

Mr Anderson Snr said his son first told him he had a coke, but when pressed admitted trying to order alcohol first.

"I said 'What were you thinking about son' and he said ' I don't know, I just don't know'."

Mr Anderson said he was trying to get his son psychiatric help. "I don't know what is going on in his head, he needs mental help as well."

Old Moat Inn manager Lorraine McMillan said : "He walked into the bar on Wednesday and the staff immediately recognised he was from the hospital - he had a needle in his hand, was wearing slippers and was still wearing his hospital name band. He was very young and didn't look very well. He asked for a pint or possibly a vodka. He was refused a drink and he said that was OK he would take a coke. I contacted the hospital and one of the staff walked him over and he was met at the door."

Legal action

The incident last week came before Mr Anderson finally told his son that he could be dead in a couple of weeks unless he got a liver transplant. He has since sworn never to drink again.

Gareth suffered acute liver failure earlier this month after drinking 30 cans of lager on a weekend binge-drinking session and had to be rushed to hospital.

Although it is common medical practice in the UK to insist that liver patients whose conditions are linked to alcohol abuse go without a drink for six months before going on the transplant waiting list, it is only a guideline and not a formal rule.

Mr Anderson insists the policy should apply to older patients with chronic alcoholism, not a teenager who has never before needed medical treatment for a drink related illness. He plans legal action to get the rule overturned. He was expected to launch a judicial review in the High Court in Belfast this week, but may now have to take action in London following his son's transfer to King's College Hospital.

According to Andy Burnham (the Health Secretary), young people will be urged to drink water on nights out in a 100 million campaign funded by the drinks industry.
The campaign will suggest that men will slur their chat up lines and risk pulling 'unattractive women'.
What a load of rubbish. In my youth, my best chat up lines came after a few drinks, and whilst in a state of inebriation I never pulled an unattractive woman. All of them were stunningly beautiful, slim and throughly deserving of my charms.
But for some reasons as yet unexplained, some of them became ugly and fat overnight.
Anyone have any idea why.

Oh the nights i've danced with an oil tanker after a few beers.

Thanks Jimmy,

And I always thought it was my arms getting shorter with each drink.

Ah yes. Nice to get the old beer goggles out and look at the women in stella-vision. They all seem to turn into 'ten beer beauties', don't they?

Funny how your standards drop and drop and drop after each beer, until eventually, you are just glad to go home to the wife.

:-)

PS. Read this quickly. I may have to edit it out before she comes on here and reads it.

Age does it as well i'm afraid , i remember watching bewitched as a kid and thinking that blonde looked like my auntie ,i saw the programe the other day and woo she's a babe...

Standards do not always drop and drop after each beer or age, but we better not go there, (noun....'something that stands or is placed upright').

Ah Bewitched. As a kid she ( Elizabeth Montgomery) must have been the first woman on TV I fell in love with.

It's not your arms that get shorter when you drink Greekman.

OK, I get you. It's my eyesight.

A German's View on Islam

A man, whose family was German aristocracy prior to World War II, owned a number of large industries and estates. When asked how many German people were true Nazis, the answer he gave can guide our attitude toward fanaticism. "Very few people were true Nazis," he said, "but many enjoyed the return of German pride, and many more were too busy to care. I was one of those who just thought the Nazis were a bunch of fools. So, the majority just sat back and let it all happen. Then, before we knew it, they owned us, and we had lost control, and the end of the world had come.


My family lost everything. I ended up in a concentration camp and the Allies destroyed my factories."

We are told again and again by 'experts' and 'talking heads' that Islam is the religion of peace, and that the vast majority of Muslims just want to live in peace. Although this unqualified assertion may be true, it is entirely irrelevant. It is meaningless fluff, meant to make us feel better, and meant to somehow diminish the spectra of fanatics rampaging across the globe in the name of Islam.


The fact is that the fanatics rule Islam at this moment in history. It is the fanatics who march. It is the fanatics who wage any one of 50 shooting wars worldwide. It is the fanatics who systematically slaughter Christian or tribal groups throughout Africa and are gradually taking over the entire continent in an Islamic wave. It is the fanatics who bomb, behead, murder or honour-kill. It is the fanatics who take over mosque after mosque. It is the fanatics who zealously spread the stoning and hanging of rape victims and homosexuals. It is the fanatics who teach their young to kill and to become suicide bombers. The hard quantifiable fact is that the peaceful majority, the 'silent majority', is cowed and extraneous.


Communist Russia was comprised of Russians who just wanted to live in peace, yet the Russian Communists were responsible for the murder of about 30 million people. The peaceful majority were irrelevant.


China 's huge population was peaceful as well, but Chinese Communists managed to kill a staggering 70 million people.


The average Japanese individual prior to World War II was not a war mongering sadist. Yet, Japan murdered and slaughtered its way across South East Asia in an orgy of killing that included the systematic murder of 12 million Chinese civilians; most killed by sword, shovel, and bayonet.


And who can forget Rwanda which collapsed into butchery. 800,000 slaughtered. Could it not be said that the majority of Rwandans were 'peace loving'?


History lessons are often incredibly simple and blunt, yet for all our powers of reason we often miss the most basic and uncomplicated of points: Peace-loving Muslims have been made irrelevant by their silence. Peace-loving Muslims will become our enemy if they don't speak up, because like my friend from Germany , they will awaken one day and find that the fanatics own them, and the end of their world will have begun.


Peace-loving Germans, Japanese, Chinese, Russians, Rwandans, Serbs, Afghans, Iraqis, Palestinians, Somalis, Nigerians, Algerians and many others have died because the peaceful majority did not speak up until it was too late.


As for us who watch it all unfold, we must pay attention to the only group that counts; the fanatics who threaten our way of life.


Lastly, anyone who doubts that the issue is serious and just deletes this without sending it on is contributing to the passiveness that allows the problems to expand. So, extend yourself a bit and send this on and on and on! Let us hope that thousands, world wide, read this and think about it, and send it on before it's too late.


Emanuel Tanay , MD
Wayne State University
Ann Arbor , Michigan

This-is me,

An excellent post, with every word reading true.
Will copy it to all my friends/family.

Although I fear it is already too late. Far too late.

Where is Alan these days? I hope he is ok and hasn't been overrun by his meerkats?!

If you receive an e-mail from the Department of Health telling you not to eat tinned pork because of Swine flu....Ignore it, Its only SPAM.

Yes I know. Stick to the day job.

Should we despair when we read stuff like the following?

And if so,

Is it our government who are just 'soft on crime'?
Is it our criminal justice system, who don't have enough prisons and so just have to let the prisoners out?
or
Are they just bloody joking and taking the piss?

Here is the article:

From The Sun
By MIKE SULLIVAN Crime Editor and SIMON HUGHES Chief Investigative Reporter
Published: Today

FORTY convicted Islamic terrorists are back on the streets after being released from jail, a Sun investigation has revealed.

And another 50 plotters, including al-Qaeda trained Sohail Qureshi, will be free soon. He was given 4 1/2 yrs for terror crimes in 2006 but is due out next month.

We have got to hope these people come out without violent extremist views. But the likelihood of that is slim.

More at http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/news/2628304/40-fanatics-go-free-from-jail.html where there are pictures of the fanatics and there is also a comment from the Tory Shadow Home Secretary, Chris Grayling. He seems to take a tougher view on, what is at present, just a fiasco.

Should we despair when we read stuff like the following. YES we should although I have been in deep despair at our pathetically weak willed government for years.

The big problem is they (UK government) is always more concerned with civil liberties/rights of the individual than with those of the majority. Yes an individuals rights are important but they have to be weighed against those of the majority. To me a terrorist or any serious criminal forgoes his/her rights if they choose to act outside this counties fundamental beliefs.

No doubt when there is another mass terrorist killing, our so called leaders will be up in arms saying we must do something, as they usually do. Horse, stable door syndrome.

One resent example of threading on many to allow a right to a few is happening now in West Bridgeford, Nottingham (and no doubt in many more cities/towns).
A large mosque is proposed to be built in an area that is predominately populated by older people, most being none Muslims.
These buildings as we know are used to call the populous into prayer several times a day. Now before I get accused of racism etc, let me just say that if I went to live in a Muslim country and was forbidden to build a church and/or forbidden to ring the church bells because it was not their way I would have to accept that decision.

Of course the above example is very minor compared to more serious issue but such incidents increase the tension in these areas, then it is wondered why the lid sometimes blows off.

I have said many times that the UK is the laughing stock on the world stage.
The above is just one of many examples.

You are correct.

DIFFERENT WAYS OF LOOKING AT THINGS
(Or the uncertainty of the English language)
Two guys were discussing popular family trends on sex, marriage, and family values.
Stu said, 'I didn't sleep with my wife before we got married, did you?'
Leroy replied, 'I'm not sure, what was her maiden name?'
---------------------------------------------------------
A little boy went up to his father and asked: 'Dad, where did my intelligence come from?'
The father replied. 'Well, son, you must have got it from your mother, cause I still have mine.'
---------------------------------------------------------
'Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully,' the divorce Court
Judge said, 'And I've decided to give your wife 775 a week,'
'That's very fair, your honor,' the husband said. 'And every now and
then I'll try to send her a few quid myself.'
---------------------------------------------------------
A doctor examining a woman who had been rushed to the Emergency Room, took
the husband aside, and said, 'I don't like the looks of your wife at all.'
'Me neither doc,' said the husband.
'But she's a great cook and really good with the kids.'
-----------------------------------------------------------
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has
been living with for the last 40 years.
The Wizard says, 'Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that
were used to put the curse on you.'
The old man says without hesitation, 'I now pronounce you man and wife.'
----------------------------------------------------------
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:
1. The DNA all matches.
2. There are no dental records.
----------------------------------------------------------
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, 'Can you tell me how long it'll take
to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?'
The agent replies, 'Just a minute.'
'Thank you,' the blonde says, and hangs up..
----------------------------------------------------------
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the murder of Juan Gonzalez.
'How was he killed?' asked one detective.
'With a golf gun,' the other detective replied.
'A golf gun! What is a golf gun?'
'I don't know. But it sure made a hole in Juan.'
-----------------------------------------------------------
Moe: 'My wife got me to believe in religion.'
Joe: 'Really?'
Moe: 'Yeah. Until I married her I didn't believe in Hell.'
----------------------------------------------------------
A man is recovering from surgery when the Surgical Nurse appears and asks
him how he is feeling.
'I'm O. K. but I didn't like the four letter-words the doctor used in surgery,' he answered.
'What did he say,' asked the nurse.
'Oops!'
------------------------------------------------------------
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so sought my husband's advice.
'What do you think?' I asked. 'Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?'
'Better get a bikini,' he replied. 'You'd never get it all in one.'
He's still in intensive care.
.........................................................................
The graveside service just barely finished, when there was massive
clap of thunder, followed by a tremendous bolt of lightning, accompanied by even more thunder rumbling in the distance.
The little old man looked at the pastor and calmly said, 'Well, she's there.'

Hey chaps ,,can anyone tell me how to insert a link to a webpage ,so that it comes out as a link you can click on and not just the web address ,,i used to be able to do this but i am using a laptop and for some reason i cant do it anymore.It could be me as i'm sure i am getting thicker by the day..