Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Just watched the first pink panther film on tv - I haven't laughed so much in ages!

Poor Camilla
Poor Katie
Poor Peter
Poor George
Poor Joe
and poor Lucie, because I think she might be next....

Exec ?? and links to websites about salad , am i missing something or should i be smoking what your smoking ?

When i turned on moneyam today it had red sides ,,the market was down ,will it have blue sides if the market is up ? i wonder if this is a new feature ?

'Big Bang' experiment to re-start

The Large Hadron Collider (LHC) experiment could be re-started on Saturday morning at the earliest, officials have said.

Skinny,

Thanks goodness for that. For a moment as I read your title line, I thought there was going to be a naughty picture of Maria Sharapova.

Sorry couldn't resist.

Greekmana big bang would have been Kim Woodburn.not Sharapova

Greekman :-) Tabbie - yuk!

SkinnyI am pleased to say my wife is a little bangerin any instance all nice women are beautifuleven the big bangerson the flip sideKatie Price is a little banger with big bangersthat aint nice!!!

Any woman that says 'yes' is ok in my books, no matter how fat or ugly.

Mind you I am from Bradford.

dcb...I take it you need a pulse?

:-)

tabasco

it depends how much i've had to drink ;-)

Dow futures only showing 200 downbit optimistic that!

Would you believe it. Well yes.

Prisoners at HMS Kirkham, an open prison, can win a day out of jail as a top raffle prize in their Christmas Draw.
This 1 draw is open to all 590 inmates.
The 1 fee will come out of the prison funds (IE paid by the tax payer). I kid you not.
It has been confirmed that this does fit in with the current system of prisoner rehabilitation.
First of all I could not see any point as after all if they want a day out, they usually just walk out the gate.

This though got me thinking. Perhaps to give our unfortunates (but I'm innocent guv) a bit more interest during their incarceration, they could have their own lottery. After all you can't play sports/games, go to the gym, watch films in a private cinema and watch 'sky' on a plasma HD big screen all day.
Obviously a big money lottery win would cause awkward questions, but they could have prizes such as,

Main Prizes.
First....A get out of jail free card.
Second.....A British passport for illegal immigrants (those who already have one could sell it on).
Third......A years supply of drugs of their choice.
Forth.....A voucher for the services of a top barrister, for the next time they are locked up, and did not do it.

With several runner up prizes of pot plants (Cannabis of course).

Anyone else have suggestions for a prize list.

Blimey, what flood gates have I opened.

Well, you've pretty well got it covered with that list, Greek.

How about a 50" plasma to replace the cell's, sorry, I mean living room's, living room's (don't want to get arrested for being derogatory to prisoners, sorry, I mean lodgers, lodgers) much smaller 42" model?

Congratulations to Commonwealth middleweight champion Darren Barker as he added the British beltthat makes 20 from 20 with 13 kos.quite an achievement after the personal tragedy Darren has suffered.a world title shot is on the cards next year
No such congratulations to Denise Lewis after her appearance on All Star Family Fortunes resulted in a winning performance and the large cash winnings going to her selected charityAfrican and Caribbean leukaemia Society I think it should have read the Leukaemia society which is so much more helpful to all

Borders



Let me see if I understand all this...



If you cross the North Korean border illegally you get 12 years

hard labour.

If you cross the Iranian border illegally, you are detained

indefinitely.

If you cross the Afghan border illegally, you get shot.

If you cross the Saudi Arabian border illegally, you will be

jailed.

If you cross the Chinese border illegally, you may never be

heard from again.

If you cross the Venezuelan border illegally, you will be

branded a spy and your fate will be sealed.

If you cross the Cuban border illegally, you will be thrown

into political prison to rot.




If you cross the UK borders illegally, you get:
A job
A drivers license
A social security card
Welfare
Food stamps
Credit cards
Subsidised rent or a loan to buy a house
Free education
Free health care
And in many instances you can vote



Does that make sense to you??????

An economics professor at a local college made a statement that he had
never failed a single student before but had once failed an entire class.

That class had insisted that socialism worked and that no one would be
poor and no one would be rich, a great equalizer.

The professor then said, "OK, we will have an experiment in this class
on socialism. All grades would be averaged and everyone would receive
the same grade so no one would fail and no one would receive an A.

After the first test, the grades were averaged and everyone got a B.

The students who studied hard were upset and the students who studied
little were happy.

As the second test rolled around, the students who studied little had
studied even less and the ones who studied hard decided they wanted a
free ride too so they studied little.

The second test average was a D! No one was happy.

When the 3rd test rolled around, the average was an F.

The scores never increased as bickering, blame and name-calling all
resulted in hard feelings and no one would study for the benefit of
anyone else.

All failed, to their great surprise, and the professor told them that
socialism would also ultimately fail because when the reward is great,
the effort to succeed is great but when government takes all the reward
away, no one will try or want to succeed.

It could not be any simpler than that

Tabasco, Sounds like a decent society in Britain.

Tim. egocentric values are eventually narcissistic in consequences!