Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

NM,

I am half way with you.

And words such as "absolutely" and the others I can't recall, should all be struck out of the dictionary.

I have a daughter who has lost he way, and after having degrees in Psychology, Linguistics and , multiple qualifications in language has gone back to university to study "linguistic pathology".

I think, I am partially responsible for her pathology, by encouraging her not to take statements as facts, and to ask the question "Why?".

Unfortunately, for me, her sisters have are similarly inclined and at times their mother can be equally challenging.

Thankfully, they also have a sense of humour.

PS.

Actually, is one of the other words.


Actually, "three" is a word I have difficulty in pronouncing.

God, they would have to have a sense of humour to live with Fred.

To the uninitiated: my opinions and utterances are so repulsive to our dear Fred that he has 'squelched' me so has rendered himself unable to enjoy what passes for my wit and wisdom. I am, therefore, at liberty to say what I like about him here without any danger of offending him - if that were to be a concern of mine.

I am enjoying this situation far more than I thought possible.

This used to be such a fun thread ,,,where have all the old crowd gone ?????

I do my best Jimmy?

Jimmy.just for you.because I am a thickoI thought I would have a brain transplantthe surgeon offered me the choice of twoa Policemans brain for 50.000...or a Politicians brain for 100.000.I told him that I did not mind paying the extrabut was the Politicians brain really that much betterhe replied.not at allits just that the Politicians brain has never been usedI thought pay the extraget it back on expenses.

tabasco,

Nice one.

Jimmy, Try Bunny's Beer Basement.

52 British athletes competing at the Winter Olympics so BBC send 74 staff to cover it.
2517

Funny tab ,, Fred i dont want to go to Bunnys Beer Basement ,i have been on here for years ,its my favourite thread .

Are you TT?

What do you mean TT ??? ......

Teetotaller. 8-)

No Fred why ??

Stop swearing Fred!

Tab,

Sorry.

It is your round and I need a bad drink badly.

Fredthere is no such thing as a bad drinkI nearly fell of my Chez Lounge

Know anyone who doesn't shave too frequently?
Do they look a bit scruffy?
Is their appearance significant of something else?

Hmmm? Well, how about "Do they wash their sheets and if so, how often can they be bothered to do it?"

From http://www.telegraph.co.uk/....

Britain's dirty bedrooms: some people 'wash their sheets three times a year'
17 Feb 2010

Half a million dirty Britons wash their bed sheets only three times a year, a survey discloses laying bare the disgusting bedroom habits of the nation.

One in six people also admitted waiting at least a month before washing their bed sheets.

Experts say up to ten per cent of the weight of an unwashed pillow can be made up of dead skin and mites, with a dirty bed having about ten million bedbugs.

It would come as no surprise to most mothers but under 25s were found to have the dirtiest bed sheets with one in 10 admitting to washing theirs only six times a year.

In contrast, house-proud over 55s air their dirty laundry on average three times a month.

Londoners were the worst culprits when it comes to unwashed bedding, the survey of 1,029 men and women from across the UK, found.

The capital was closely followed by Brits in the North East, and the South West, also keeping dirty sheets on their bed for more than a month.

Dr Lisa Ackerley, Environmental Health Practitioner, said unwashed sheets were a breeding ground of disease.

"An unsavoury (amount) of the British population regularly enjoy a bite to eat in bed... with over 500,000 Brits washing their bedding just three times a year.

"It's estimated that 10 per cent of the weight of a two year pillow is comprised of dead skin and dust mites - so it's no surprise that your bed can become a minefield of bacteria, viruses, sweat and hair which can cause or exacerbate asthma.

"Beds are a prime habitat for dust mites."

She said America's Environment Health and Safety Online found a typical used mattress had anywhere from 100,000 to 10 million mites inside.

"Washing your bedding takes time and effort but to reduce levels of unwanted organisms and mites, you need to wash your bed linen at least once a fortnight - preferably once a week," she said.

Jacky Brown, of Sheilas' Wheels home insurance, which conducted the study, said: "With the cold weather making our beds more irresistible than ever, Brits are currently spending more than 49 hours a week sleeping in.

"The bed is one of the most used and expensive items in the home - so it's astonishing that more Brits aren't keeping it clean.

"With many beds being used as an alternative to the kitchen table for a place to breakfast or snack, it is crucial homeowners have accidental damage cover in the event of a major spillage."

She added: "The average person forking out up to 1,020 on their beds, an unpleasant 10 million(4) bed bugs and dust mites sleep alongside you every night."

Regions with the dirtiest bed sheets:

1. London (24 per cent)

2. North East (22 per cent)

3. South West (21 per cent)

4. East Midlands (19 per cent)

= 4. South East (19 per cent)

6. North West (18 per cent)

= 6. West Midlands (18 per cent)

8. Wales (17 per cent)

9. Eastern England (16 per cent)

10. Scotland (15 per cent)

11. Yorkshire (13 per cent)

12. Northern Ireland (8 per cent)

Note: per cent based on those washing their bedding just once a month or less frequently.

Source: Sheilas' Wheels Home Insurance

Exec ,after reading that i'm just putting mine in the machine :-(

We change ours twice per week and, since there are an odd number of days in the week, do it regularly and habitually on Mondays and Fridays.

We use a Washer-Drier, but for the bedding, which is polycotton (in W-D Machine language this is called 'Synthetic'), we rarely use the Drier facility. When the cycle has finished it is removed from the washer and draped over a chrome John Lewis clothes airer sited in the en-suite bathroom of our second bedroom. Within three hours it is dry. It is then 'expertly' folded, without ironing (it doesn't need it, being polycotton) and goes onto its own neat stack (at the bottom) in the airing cupboard ready for use. On a fine day, the bedding will go outside onto the clothes line to be freshened and aired. When it is fully dry and ready to be brought in, well, if you bury your face into it and breathe in deeply through it, it smells absolutely fantastic.

I married a wife, you see, not a mistress (*). I could be wrong, but I think she's a sort of 'Tess Daly lady' not a 'Posh Spice lady', IYSWIM?

(*)IMHO, there are only two sorts of women: Wives and Mistresses.

Oh dear! I'm in big trouble! Apparently, the duvet cover and the fitted sheet are not ironed, but the pillow cases definitely are.

I must make a note to buy some more flowers. ;-)