Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

For Hilary!:-

http://www.thechels.tv/2010/02/glamour-girl/

STOP PRESS - Sales of battered Mars Bars set to fall in Chippers accross Scotland!

Worried chip shop owners in Scotland are bracing themselves for heavy losses due to Mars displaying the England flag on there wrappers, the battered Mars Bar a firm favourite accross the country will have to be withdrawn in the belief that Scots would sooner starve than support the old enemy. However every cloud has a silver lining, Alka Seltzer are anticipating huge sales during the World Cup. :o)

You might like to try the Norwegian Weather web site at

http://www.yr.no/english/1.2025949

Tip: For a really good weather forecast, click on the link and simply enter the place name you require into the SEARCH facility.

As well as such things as snow depths and pollen counts, this site even does the weather for Oil Rigs.

RT,

Thanks for the info.

Have a look
http://www.openinternet.gov/read-speech.html

Good find exec

For the person who has everything!

Rowan Atkinson's Blackadder codpiece could fetch 1,000


A codpiece worn by Rowan Atkinson in the 1986 TV series Blackadder, set in medieval times, is being auctioned in Berkshire.

The codpiece was a covering at the front of the crotch and formed an essential part of the well-dressed Elizabethan man's wardrobe.

It accentuated the genital area and was held closed by string ties or buttons.

The garment is expected to sell for 1,000 at the TV and Film Costumes auction at Cameo in Midgham on Sunday.

Jon King, from Cameo, said: "This is possibly the most iconic costume item in the series.

"There is a lot of interest world-wide in this auction, as we are live on the computer as well as selling in the room."

World Cup nos 1 ?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2z7Ty5KsYds

You can bid for it haystack - it wouldn't be big enough for Me!

It's deceptive. It's three feet long.

Tight fit then!

Yes! Bring it on!

Price war starts at the fuel pumps

BBQ RULES
We are about to enter the BBQ season. Therefore it is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity .
When a man volunteers to do the BBQ the following chain of events are put into motion:

Routine...
(1) The woman buys the food.
(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.
(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging

beside the grill - cold drink in hand.
(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three yard exclusion zone

where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can

take place without the interference of the woman.

Here comes the important part:
(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine...
(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.
(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great.

He thanks her and asks if she will bring another cold drink while he flips the meat

Important again:
(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND

HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.
More routine...
(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils,

napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:
(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed her night off cooking .

It is, of course, essential that any sons of the MAN are able to witness this ritual so that they may continue it when they are the MAN. It is equally important that daughters of the woman gain a clear understanding of the respective roles involved in the BBQ ceremony.

This-is-me,

As an avid BBQ real man, I tried not to recognise myself from your post, BUT failed in every area.
The only thing that was missing, was the continuing question/statement from the woman, "I'm sure there burning, or/and Have you turned them over yet".

If she continues to treat me like a brain dead Neanderthal, I'll drag her back to the cave!

Haystack,

Well said.

Greek,

It takes a woman to understand a man's needs.

Fred,

I know plenty of women who understand my needs, problem is my wife (who I love dearly) isn't one of them.

Anyone who feels that the proposed change to CGT is wrong, you may wish to consider signing the campaign in The Telegraph.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/finance/personalfinance/capital-gains-tax/7773125/Capital-Gains-Tax-campaign.html

These jokes are from the Telegraph after the Algeria game.

As England are now through to the next stage, these jokes are already dated, but they gave me a laugh.

A bit cruel but still.

Q Whats the difference between the England team and a tea bag.

A The tea bag stays in the cup longer.

Q I'm' shocked at Wayne Rooney's outburst after the Algeria game.
Who knew he could even string a sentence together.

Fabio Capello was wheeling his shopping trolley across a supermarket car park when he noticed an old lady struggling with her bags of shopping.
He stopped and asked, " Can you manage dear".
She replied, " No way. You got yourself into this mess, don't ask me to sort it out.

Q What do you call an Englishman in the knockout stages of the world cup.

A A referee.

Q Whats the difference between Wayne Rooney and Shrek.

A Shrek can save the day.

Three hours of football and Robert Green is still equal England's top scorer.

My Favorite.....I can't believe we only managed a draw against a rubbish team we should easily have beaten.... I'm ashamed to call myself Algerian.

Q Whats the difference between a faulty jet and Wayne Rooney.

A The jet engine eventually stops whining.

Apparently that fan had no trouble slipping into the England dressing room.
Robert Green was guarding the door.

On a serious note.... England played much better yesterday (they couldn't play worse could they), but they are still inconsistent (patchy), and they need to keep the pressure on for 90 minutes to beat Germany.
When is Capello going to give Crouch a go for more than 5 minutes at a time?
Come on England.

Difference between MoneyAm and a competitors site.

Yesterday I posted on a competitors site, a post that took considerable time and effort to compile and type (one fingered).

My post contained no derogatory comments, insults or bad language, but did contained the Fraze, 'Tit for Tat'.

If that was the reason it was removed, and I can't think of any other, its pathetic as obviously it meant "equivalent retaliation" and had nothing to do with any body part.

So either they have an automated system that trawls posts looking for such words, which then may be misinterpreted, or they have a person carrying out this procedure who I presume is not aware of the saying.

My main point is that yesterday pre 0900 hrs I sent them an E-Mail re the reason and have not had a reply. This has happened before with that site

If that had been MoneyAm no doubt I would have received a very prompt reply, as I have always had from them.
Also they would inform you of the reason why such a post was removed.

I know MoneyAm site has it's problems, as all such sites do, but to my mind their customer care is second to none.

So when I do decide to subscribe to a financial share site, there will be no contest.

I make no apology if this post reads like a promotional advert for MoneyAm, but good customer care to me is very important, equally poor customer care really winds me up.

I think you'll find you can post the competitor's name on here without it being censored too.

Try posting the name MoneyAM on North Korea's site and the result is somewhat different.....