Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

.

It's not difficult to make a woman happy. A man only needs to be:


1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23... very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42 . dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate

WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:

45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls

AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:

51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes

IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:

54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes



HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY

1. Show up naked
2. Bring beer

Unless she's Beth Ditto

WHY MEN ARE NEVER DEPRESSED:


Men Are Just Happier People

Your last name stays put. The garage is all yours. Wedding plans take care of themselves. Chocolate is just another snack. You can be President. You can never be pregnant. You can wear a white T-shirt to a water park. You can wear NO shirt to a water park. Car mechanics tell you the truth. The world is your urinal. You never have to drive to another petrol station toilet because this one is just too icky. You don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt. Same work, more pay. Wrinkles add character. Wedding dress 5000. Suit rental-100. People never stare at your chest when you're talking to them. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet. One mood all the time.

Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat. You know stuff about tanks. A five-day holiday requires only one suitcase. You can open all your own jars. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness. If someone forgets to invite you, he or she can still be your friend.

Your underwear is 8.95 for a three-pack. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough. You almost never have strap problems in public. You are unable to see wrinkles in your clothes. Everything on your face stays its original colour. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades. You only have to shave your face and neck.

You can play with toys all your life. One wallet and one pair of shoes -- one colour for all seasons. You can wear shorts no matter how your legs look. You can 'do' your nails with a pocket knife. You have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.

You can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives on December 24 in 25 minutes.

No wonder men are happier.

The miners trapped underground are coming up tomorrow...miracle that they are still alive......with the world press waiting for them ......they should send down a smoking jacket, bow tie and a carnation.......so when the first miner comes out : it will be a bit like in "Diamonds are forever"...the Bond film...when Sean Connery comes out of the pipeline !....."I was taking my pet rat for a walk when I seemed to have lost my way"...

With 33 of them having to be pulled over 2,000 ft. up that tube one at a time, I think the scope for something going wrong here, is not exactly zero.

However, I am very optimistic they are all going to be saved.

If they are, then it will be a miracle.

'Fingers crossed' and 'Steady does it'.

And, after being trapped underground for all that time, their reward is going to be "a visit to Manchester". Poor chaps.

It will be a feat to bring all those miners to the surface.....a Hollywood film is bound to made about this.

Just paid my hairdresser, who actually visits the house and does both me and my wife, and of course, we catch up on 'the latest'.

On the plus side:

She's just had a boob job. Stunning! And she's flashing lots of cleavage too! Phwoar! I hardly dare look at them. Perhaps it was a good job she was mostly behind me whilst cutting away? It would have been difficult to stop looking at them at such very close quarters.

I wasn't sure whether she wanted me to look at them or not. But I daren't really. With my wife there too, I had to use lots of decorum, I suppose.

We are quite discerning and she is one of those hairdressers who can actually make a really good job of cutting hair. IMHO, not many can. She is also an excellent lady's cutting stylist. Thus I do want to keep a good professional relationship with her, particularly for wifey's sake.

On the minus side:

She has just lost her 17 yr old cousin, who was the only fatality in a car crash a couple of nights ago. We didn't go into any details. It seems it was very late at night and alcohol was involved. How terrible for her family. She calmly told us how they are all just trying to get on with their lives despite this terribly traumatic shock. We did not discuss it much at all.

Actually, on a previous occasion, when she couldn't leave her home because of car problems, we visited her house to get our hair done. I was amazed to see about six or seven actual holes in her floor boards in the dining end of her kitchen, where she cut our hair. The remaining boards were the remnant of a, now-treated, woodworm infestation. It was school holiday time and the kids were there too. Everyone in the family, including the dog, seemed to be very well practiced at 'not falling down the holes in the floor boards'. She told us the floor has been like that since she bought the house about 7 yrs ago and that she is 'saving up to have them replaced'. Hmmm?

Not having a man around the house must be very difficult for her so she must be trying to make herself attractive to blokes. Good Luck to her. However, we continue to debate as to whether she has her priorities right and even, whether she will attract the right sort of men. She told my wife the boob job cost just short of 4k. IMHO, I do think they look very, very firm and a bit too 'concretey'.

I suppose it's a matter of personal taste but I do like breasts to be a bit on the soft side, personally speaking. And further on the minus side, with her cutting our hair in our home, she doesn't bring one of those big mirror thingies. One could have been quite useful today. ;-)

Oh, and just to finish off on a positive note: Although she's a single mum, her two kids are fantastic, well behaved, sensible and interesting to talk to, and a great credit to her.

This stuff happens around once per month. I think I might invest in some mirror fronted sun glasses and a headache for next time. ;-)

Exec ,maybe she should have replaced the floor boards instead of having a boob job .

.

mnamreh

Are you a women ?

Wo to men!

Mind I know a little woman who often seems more than one.

Besides, isn't a breast the first thing a babe gropes for after being born.

For some it remains their driving urge.

(Could be a sign of immaturity.)

Breasts are like train sets. They are meant for the kids, but it is the fathers who end up playing with them.

.

Bantering the opposite sex is just one of life's little entertainments as is bantering Chavski supporters about how Roman got his millions!

Its not something to get pissed off about, there other thing's to worry about like not getting a hard on when having your hair cut.

You should get it waxed, Alders. That would kill your urge!

AHHHH, yep works for me

hil's

It was a reply to .... 12 Oct 2010 11:24 - 9614 of 9624