Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Current Balance -4.13
Cleared Funds -4.16
Portfolio Assets 2.48
Portfolio Liabilities (0.00)
Portfolio Value 2.48
Total -1.65

Well there is my finish on Champ Invest ,not a carrot , in fact i think i owe them money.

i think makes you champ, jimmy. just need alan to present you with the golden pigs ear award. well done , sir !!!

chocolat, nice outfit!!! maybe just a touch too much make-up ......... and stop constantly posting, please :)

Huge round of applause for jimmy.
That takes style, class and God only knows what.
Ladies and Gents, I think we have a winner. Unless, in the words of Esther Rantzen (Hands up those old enough to remember "Thats Life") you know better.

How good am I to you lot?
Another superb hot tip from my mate Rupert, who tells me hes something big in the city. (Perhaps a lamp post).
He tells me that London Rubber Company are about to launch a massive advertising campaign for condoms and, scoop of the century, the adverts are to be fronted by none other than the Pope!!! How big will this be?
Due to be launched on Good Friday when he has a bit of a party or something in St Peters Square, where he will be handing out free condoms to launch this major marketing push.
Rupert tells me its a sure fire winner, cos this Pope guy has lots of followers or something.
Also mentioned M&S are looking at a new label of ladies swimwear and lingerie called "Taliban" to replace the Per Una label, so that might be a winner. I'll let you know more on that later.
(Have I offended enough people yet?)

you missed out the jews, al. :)

They're already in bos. Tight little buggers have bought up all the good stock already, my life.
Just my way of celebrating the defeat of that dreadful law which would have made such jokes imprisonable. They should be anyway, for being so bad, but not for inciting racial or religious ridicule!!!
Enough. I'm off to find some christians to introduce to lions and work out why the hell all those jews go to the wailing wall. It's like a Mecca to them.
;-)
(Not meaning to offend anyone, but if I am - Oh what the hell, I don't really care)

Turn your sound up and listen carefully (click twice)
http://media.spikedhumor.com/8944/Jingle_Bells_Reversed.swf

Oh sh*t mun Alan, you only forgot the Welsh mun, don't leave us Welsh out boyo, isn't it. Oh, an' by the way, don't trust that London Rubber Company - bought a pack of ribbed the other day an' there was a leek in wun of 'em.

Ok Kim, I admit it. Your jokes are worse.
No need to take the p155 out of the Taffys though.
I just put on a link to every post Dil ever made!!
;-)

:-D

Anyway, you've done it now. You've got me thinking, and when that starts I have to go have a lie down!
What I'm thinking though, is why are there 3 in a packet?
At some point when the first disposable condoms were packaged up, some marketing geek had to work out the best number to sell them in, to maximise profits, and he came up with 3! Why? What is the significance of 3?
Was that aimed at being a family pack? Cos 3 times a night is average? To appeal to the Irish to be sure, to be sure, to be sure.
I think we deserve answers and I may just research the point of why a packet of 3 came into being.
I'll report back.

Taffy was a Welshman, Taffy was a thief, Taffy came to my house and stole (not a leg of beef but) 2 of my condoms.........good job there were 3 in the pack. Well, it may help your quest.

Up yer in Wales, we done know much bout contrainterception or whateva it is. Me girlfriend said I couldn't 'av sex with her unless I 'ad a condom. Went to the sweet shop, ironmongers, stockbroker, everywhere...they didn't sell 'em; then I went to the chemist an' they 'ad some. Well, I told the girl behind the counter I didn't know what they were, or what to do with 'em so she showed me 'ow to use 'em by rollin' one over 'er thumb. Great, I thought, tonight's the night boyo. Well, afta we done it like, yew know what I mean done yew?!, she said,"you did 'ave a condom on did'n yew boyo?" So I held up my thumb....................anyway, off to feed baby Daffyd now.

Post is down to a bare minimum now bos

just whipping up some cream to go with that !! :)

Go to bed bos ,,you know what your nan said ,,you'll go blind..

jimmy, is that cos it keeps getting in me eyes?

just listening to some frank, and thinking , does it get any cooler?

Yes bos it can , try the Verve or someone like that ,your not old yet ..

Or how about a packet of marmite flavoured twiglets and the Black Lace party album???