Thought Id start this one going because its rather dead on this board at the moment and I suppose all my usual muckers are either at the Stella tennis event watching Dim Tim (lose again) or at Henly Regatta eating cucumber sandwiches (they wish,...NOT).

Anyway please feel free to just talk to yourself blast away and let it go on any company or subject you wish. Just wish Id thought of this one before.

cheers GF.

Apple Computer reported today that it has developed computer chips that can store and play music inside women's breasts. This is considered to be a major breakthrough because women are always complaining about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them.

what a great idea. i bet they're much more confortable than ear-phones ;) plus they have individual volume controls .....

Good grief, look at the dust in here, place hasn't been cleaned for weeks. Has anyone heard from Alan? I hope his house move has gone alright. Maybe he has forgotten where his new place is and he's wandering aimlessly around Leeds.

My daughter has been having problems getting her computer fixed, the job is done now after days of attempting to make any sense of the problem; the following are dedicated to the 'geniuses' who took so long to sort the problem!!

One of Microsoft's finest technicans was drafted and sent to boot camp. At the rifle range, he was given some instruction, a rifle, and bullets. He fired several shots at the target. The report came from the target area that all attempts had completely missed the target.

The technician looked at his rifle, and then at the target. He looked at the rifle again, and then at the target again. He put his finger over the end of the rifle barrel and squeezed the trigger with his other hand. The end of his finger was blown off, whereupon he yelled toward the target area, "It's leaving here just fine, the trouble must be at your end!"

George Bush, Tony Blair, and Bill Gates were called in by God. God informed them that he was very unhappy about what was going on in this world. Since things were so bad, he told the three that he was destroying the Earth in 3 days. They were all allowed to return to their homes and businesses and tell their friends and colleagues what was happening. God did tell them though, that no matter what they did he was "not" changing his mind.

George Bush went in and told his staff, "I have good news and bad news for you. First the good news . . . there "is" a God. The bad news is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."

Tony Blair went back and told his staff, "I have good news and terrible news. The first is that there "is" a God. The second is that he is destroying the Earth in 3 days."

Bill Gates went back and told his staff, "I have good news and good news. First, God thinks I am one of the three most important people in the world. Secondly, you don't have to fix the bugs in Windows XP."

Kim, you're right - where's Al? Although I haven't looked in on the SEO thread for ages, but I guess you probably have.

D'you think we should form a search party?

ST, there is just a chance that Alan could have done his back in whilst shifting his SEO share certificates!
kim

LMAO!! That's one of the best I've heard in a long time..

Maybe we should start a "where's Alan?" thread . . .

Good idea ST, new AIM (alan is missing) thread started.
kim

LOL - just read it. Clearly it's not just me who has to much time on his hands at present :o)

An 86 year old man walked into a crowded waiting room and
approached the desk.... The Receptionist said, "Yes sir, what are you
seeing the Doctor for today?"

"There's something wrong with my dick", he replied. The
Receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a
crowded waiting room and say things like that."


"Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said.

The Receptionist replied; "Now you've caused some embarrassment
in this room full of people. You should have said there is something
wrong with your ear or something and discussed the problem further with
the Doctor in private."

The man replied, "You shouldn't ask people questions in a room
full strangers, if the answer could embarrass anyone. The man walked
out, waited several minutes and then re-entered.


The Receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "?Yes??"


"There's something wrong with my ear", he stated.


The Receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had
taken her advice. "And what is wrong with your ear, Sir??"

"I can't piss out of it," he replied.

Cannavaro wins Euro player award

Cannavaro has enjoyed a memorable year
Italy captain Fabio Cannavaro has been named European Footballer of the Year by France Football magazine.
The 33-year-old Real Madrid defender, who captained Italy to victory at the World Cup in Germany, becomes one of the few defenders to win the prize.

Cannavaro won the honour with 173 points, ahead of Juventus keeper Gianluigi Buffon (124) of Italy and Arsenal striker Thierry Henry (121).

The Ballon d'Or award is based on a vote by European football journalists.

France midfielder Zinedine Zidane, who retired after reaching the World Cup finals, was placed fifth with 71 points.

Last year's European Footballer award went to Barcelona's Brazil playmaker Ronaldinho, who finished fourth this time around.

It has a double importance because it's given to the greatest players and as a defender it's rare to have this honour

Cannavaro is the fifth Italian to win the award after Omar Sivori (1961), Gianni Rivera (1969), Paolo Rossi (1982) and Roberto Baggio (1993).

He also revealed that the award had extra significance as he became the first defender to win since Germany's Mathias Sammer in 1996.

"It has a double importance because it's given to the greatest players and as a defender it's rare to have this honour," said the delighted Neapolitan.

"The World Cup in Germany was perfect for a defender. I remember in particular the semi-final against Germany."

Capped 105 times for his country, the Real Madrid defender was one of seven nominated players from the Italian team that captured its fourth World Cup title.

In domestic football, Cannavaro clinched victory in Serie A with Juventus over the last two seasons before his previous club side were stripped of those titles and demoted to the second division after being found guilty of match fixing.

"I want to thank Real president Raman Calderon and my team-mates from Juve and the national team who had an important part to play in my winning this award," Cannavaro added.

"Many people analysed my season with Juve in 2005 for this vote. In that season I played 37 matches and scored four crucial goals."

2006 BALLON D'OR RESULTS
1. Fabio Cannavaro (Real)
2. Gianluigi Buffon (Juventus)
3. Thierry Henry (Arsenal)
4. Ronaldinho (Barcelona)
5. Zinedine Zidane (retired)

about time this man was rewarded.

Come back alan all is forgiven.

Not quite Houdini, but one hell of a magic show!
>>>>>>>>

CLICK ON YOUR OWN RISK

http://users.skynet.be/pdauwe/ursula_martinez.wmv

I once saw Tommy Cooper do exactly the same routine.
Would you all believe me if I said Tommy did it better?????

No!

Flippin Hell ,where have you lot been ??

jimmy

Hi jimmy get yourself some seo 150p in two years lol

been here jimmy. let's get this show back on the road.

merry christmas.

and if anyone is wondering what to get me for christmas , one of these'll do :)

Hi bos I'm back at work and hating it.

me too !